Week 32

My favorite part of owning a small business is the dexterity I have when it comes to decision making. I don’t need to sit around a boardroom table and discuss options. I don’t need to have sign off from multiple levels across multiple departments. There isn’t a consumer panel review. I just take a leap of faith.

A couple months ago, the Montclair Bread Co. team realized April 1st was a Monday. Mondays are typically the slowest sales day of the week. We started kicking around some ideas for April Fool’s Day doughnuts and someone suggested we turn the whole bakery into a taco shop for the day. Montclair Taco Co started snowballing…before I could stop the momentum, Jessie designed a new logo and there was a menu in place. Then I thought, since we’re already MBCo, we should make burritos instead of tacos and so the plan began.

I’m notoriously bad at keeping secrets especially when I’m excited about a new menu. I managed to go for 2 months without telling anyone!!! The teasers started going out on social media a week before the big day. I finally cracked when text after text from friends started filling up my phone. I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy enough to buy a taco truck or host a Cinco de Mayo 5K (although that sounds like a blast!!!) so I started letting the cat out of the bag.

Over the last couple months, we had signs printed, staff shirts made to mimic- and stickers customized. We were ALL IN!

I spent all day Friday roasting chicken, brisket, pork, tomatillos and jalapenos. The bakery smelled like a Mexican grandma’s house. I made horchata for the first time…won’t be the last! On Saturday, I started testing the tortillas. I figured out how to steam them using my bread oven and I practiced my rolling technique.

Sunday night was the big reveal. I posted the following message on Instagram & Facebook.

“It has been almost seven years since I launched Montclair Bread Company, in a tiny little space on Walnut Street. During this time, I've worked around the clock to bake the best artisan breads and doughnuts, often starting in the early hours of the morning to make sure everything is ready in time for the doors to open at 6am.

After much consideration and longing to have more sleep and balance in my life, I've decided to leave the Montclair Bread Company behind. Today, I am relaunching this business and am happy to announce the opening of the Montclair Burrito Company!!

Breads will always be my first love, but I am so excited to turn our favorite staff meal into the heart and soul of my business. Please stop by to try one of our new signature burritos (including the breakfast kind!), tres leches doughnuts, churros, conchas, or a bolillo roll! Join us tomorrow, April 1st, as we embrace a new menu and a new start!”

I spent the rest of the night reading customer comments on social media. I was shocked at how angry so many people were when they read the news. The majority of our fans picked up on the joke and a few people were very hopeful about actually getting burritos!!!

I arrived at the bakery at 3:30am to help shape bolillo rolls and finish off the conchas. I had to start cooking rice and get all the meats and beans ready to go. Apparently, the bakery doesn’t have enough electrical circuits to support all the food holding devices I needed for the burritos! Oops.

The first customer in the door asked how she could get her own Montclair Burrito Co. shirt and then we were off to the races!

Churros!

Conchas!

Weekly Training Log

Monday

Plan: SWIM 2300

Reality: BAKE 3AM

Tuesday:

Plan: RUN 3x (200, 100 recover, 200, 400 recover, 1000 @ 7:00 pace, 400 recover)

Reality: I woke up too sick to go to the track at 5am with the Sunrise crew. I unlocked the clubhouse and went back to bed where I stayed until I had to go to court in the afternoon. Three hours later, after I finally got back to Montclair, I was filled with just enough rage to nail my track workout like never before. As it turns out, I can still harbor enough anger post-divorce to run fast.

Wednesday:

Plan: SWIM 1550; BIKE 60:00 workout

Reality: Done and Done!

Thursday:

Plan: RUN 60 minutes

Reality: Turned into a bit of an unplanned workout when I sprinted to make it to Lorraine to open the bakery before the group run. Didn’t quite give myself enough time to run there but I made it with 2 minutes to spare.

Friday:

Plan: GRIIT @ Architect Studios

Reality: BAKE 3am, 5am, 7am - continuous check-ins with the staff to make sure everything is going as planned with intermittent napping

Saturday:

Plan: RUN 1:30 minutes

Reality: Completed as planned. Even managed to squeeze 10 miles into my allotted run time for the week!

Week 31

Race Week

Every electronic device I have, my watch, my phone, my laptop…they’ve all been operating on a 2% charge this week. I only have enough time to charge them for a few minutes at a time so they never get above 10%. It’s as if they’re mocking me. They know the lack of energy they have is a metaphor for my life this week. All the low battery alerts, ‘will shut down if not charged…’ . I get it, I get it. I need to sleep. I need to take a break. There’s just no time. There’s not enough hours. And when I finally do sit down to rest, there’s Garmin, tellimg me to MOVE! On Saturday night, I finally got to bed at 9:30pm. At 12:41am, I woke up to check the time and make sure my phone had enough charge left to sound the 3am alarm, only I couldn’t go back to sleep. My race day to-do list was running through my brain. I couldn’t stop worrying about setting up barricades and brewing enough coffee. At 1:30am, I gave up, got out of bed and went to work.

Last year when we decided there wouldn’t be another Baker’s Dozen Half Marathon I was sad. I knew the race was cost prohibitive to produce but the community surrounding the event was my favorite of all the races I’ve hosted. I didn’t want to see it go. Then I thought, I could put together a club race that’s a little shorter and bill it as a fun run. I wouldn’t have to incur the costs of course certification, I could cap the entries around 100, just like Oktoberfest and put out a huge spread of food at the end…just like the original 4K Doughnut Run. In order to make it visible to everyone in our greater community, I decided to post it as an event on the Montclair Running Company page rather than the closed Fueled by Doughnuts page. I listed Montclair Bread Company as a co-host. Oops! When you list a co-host on a FB event, it sends the information to everyone that follows said co-host, which in this case is an additional 20K+ people. In under 24 hours, over 1000 people said they wanted to attend bRUNch. Shit.

In December, I met with the traffic team from Montclair PD to review the final preparations for the 5K Doughnut Run. During the meeting, I casually mentioned a hypothetical race that may or may not take place on the same weekend the Baker’s Dozen would have been. I was shocked when they told me to go for it. They looked at my proposed route and gave me conditional approval to launch sales. Shit.

I decided to cap the race at 1000 participants. The food at the finish line was going to be the star of the show and I didn’t want to bite off more than I could chew…or in this case, produce, especially coming off of doughnut duty for 3000 runners in December’s race. bRUNch sold out in less than 36 hours. Shit.

I didn’t have Gina or Hillary as a co-director this time around. Jessica & Jessie, my bakery team, decided we would divvy up the duties to manage the best we could. We ordered hooded sweatshirts in lieu of tech shirts, insulated coffee mugs instead of medals and we reached out to local restaurants to provide food at the finish line.

(Most) everything went according to plan. We had a hiccup in the last week of planning. The course was designed to loop up and around a church. This loop created an additional 4 turns which meant more officers would be required and more barricades would have to be placed. MPD and I decided to avoid the church traffic, eliminate the additional expenses and cut out the loop. This shortened the course by .2 miles. But hey, it’s a fun run right?

The week leading up to the race was predictable. The was lots of box making, bib stickering, and production planning. I unloaded boxes, moved boxes, stacked boxes and restacked boxes…so much moving. On Friday, barricades were delivered, all 60 of them. Jess, Brad and I unloaded them from the delivery truck and stacked them next to the building. As soon as I picked up the rental van, we loaded them into the van. On Saturday, after the group run, Brad, Dan Z and I drove all over Montclair placing the barricades on the appropriate street corners. Hours before the race, Brad and I, a couple people from the MBCo staff and Matt drove from corner to corner in Montclair setting up all the barricades in the street. Hours after the race, Matt, Alex & Brad collected all the barricades and loaded them into the cargo van. First thing on Monday morning, when I just wanted to become one with my sofa, Jess and I had to unload all 60 barricades from the cargo van to the truck coming to collect them. I need a barricade break!

While the rest of the team was busy with packet pick up, I spent Saturday making doughnuts and croissants for the finisher box. Hillary, Kate & Chris helped me make 1000 yogurt cups on Friday, checking a big to-do off my list. After making doughnuts and sandwiches for the TSA during the government shutdown, race production seems infinitely easier than ever before. I tried to create a nice assortment of salty/sweet treats/fuel in the boxes. There were glazed doughnut bites, cinnamon sugar doughnut bites, spicy everything croissants and yogurt topped with Yana’s Mom’s Granola and fresh berries.

Once the race was underway, I could finally breathe. It was a great day with a couple snags. To spite the fact that we started brewing coffee at 2am, our brewing system couldn’t keep up with the demand and people had to wait for coffee near the end of the race. We left the goodie boxing until the last minute because the yogurt cups needed to stay refrigerated while the other components needed to stay at room temperature. Jessica led a team of volunteer bRUNch boxers and barely got all of them completed before the first runners were back.

I underestimated the anger that would ensue given the race was .2 miles shy of 5. I spent the remainder of race day, once all the runners were gone, monitoring our social media feeds and managing the fallout.

I get a lot of comments from runners and curious on-lookers after every race I host. “You’re really killing it.” “You must be making so much money!” “That race must have made $100,000!” If this was true, wouldn’t there be a race in town every weekend? If it was that easy and that profitable, wouldn’t more people be hosting races? First off, the $68 registration fee that 1000 runners paid, included the processing fees the registration site charges per transaction so the actual race only received $65 per runner. Those awesome hoodies everyone loved and the amazing coffee mugs each runner received at the finish line totaled around $35 per runner. Over half our budget went to making the coveted race swag. Why? Why couldn’t we just get cheap starchy tees and not hand out medals? Crappy swag = crappy race = no repeat business = no more sell outs. I want runners to actually wear their race shirts and come away with something they can use and be proud of. That still leaves $30K I can put in my pocket, right? No chance! So where does the rest of the money go? Each race pays the police to help shut down the street and direct traffic during the run. For every officer on duty, the race is charged their overtime rate for a minimum of four hours each. Captains are required too and their rate is double. Each car used, each motorcycle used, they all get billed to the race too. The race is required to send out notification to all the residents in Montclair. Not only do we have to pay to print over 5000 mailers but we have to pay for the postage too to the tune of $2,000!!! The porta potties, the barricades, the table rentals, water, coffee, doughnuts, milk, boxes, plates, spoons, bagels, top finisher prizes it all adds up. So what’s left at the end of the day? Our employees have enough clementines & water bottles to sustain themselves for the next month, give or take. We were able to donate all the leftover bagels to homeless shelters in Newark. I don’t organize these events to make money, I do it because I absolutely love bringing the community together and seeing the fruits of my labor on race day. I love seeing the first timers cross the finish line and the families and the PRs and the cheering and the smiles. I love it all.

I don’t love the guy who showed up at 10:45am and called me a ‘fucking cunt’ in front of a patio full of children when I couldn’t produce his packet because the remaining race gear had all been donated to charity.

When all was said and done, I only survived the weekend because of uber eats, who delivered breakfast, lunch and dinner from all my favorite Montclair eats from Friday - Sunday.

Weekly Training Log

Monday

Plan: SWIM 2300

Reality: BAKE 3AM

Tuesday:

Plan: RUN 2x1200 @ 7:00 pace; 5x300

Reality: Completed as planned

Wednesday:

Plan: SWIM 2050; BIKE 60:00 workout

Reality: Swim complete, Bike didn’t happen.

Thursday:

Plan: RUN 2mi tempo

Reality: Easy run, couldn’t muster the energy to start the tempo.

BIKE: 60:00 workout - Wednesday make-up

Friday:

Plan: GRIIT @ Architect Studios

Reality: BAKE 3am - Challah braiding

Saturday:

Plan: RUN 1:30 minutes

Reality: Completed as planned to spite ridiculous winds

Week 30

Redo!

There aren’t many things in life you get a second chance to complete. This week was everything last week was not. It was calm, at least by my standards, I completed my scheduled training plan and I hit all my objectives.

Monday: SWIM 500s, 6x75p, 4x50d, 4x100, 4x125

After frying doughnuts for a couple hours at the bakery, I arrived at the Y just after the pools opened. It was nice seeing different faces in the pool.

Tuesday: RUN 5x1K @ 7:00 pace

Thankfully, I didn’t have to try to run this workout on the Vegas strip again but rather the Brookdale Park track. Everything went as planned.

Wednesday: SWIM 2100; BIKE 55:00 workout

I got my swim in early and, in lieu of my bike workout, I spent 3 hours getting re-fit to my bike. After my accident, I traded in my bike for a new one. My bike was unscathed in the fall but I wanted a fresh start. At the time of my purchase, my body wasn’t still in good riding shape and a fitting would have been pointless. Now that all my limbs are moving properly, it was time. Arland M. took hit time to go over every angle of my geometry and he adjusted my bike perfectly. I learned a lot about my physical composition and about proper bike positioning along the way. My left leg is slightly shorter than my right. I’m not sure if that was always the case or a result of the trauma.

Thursday: RUN 4mi tempo

Just when I thought I couldn’t go another mile, Brian happened to be running by. He turned around and ran the last 7:45 mile with me and I was able to finish out the workout strong.

Friday: BAKE 3AM

I’ve been spending more time focusing on quality control. No, I’m not eating more doughnuts, I’m just frying more of them myself and shaping bread and mixing dough….

Saturday: RUN 1:20 minutes

Early, easy miles to finish off the week…completed as planned!

Week 29

Plan B

Monday

Plan: SWIM 500s, 6x75p, 4x50d, 4x100, 4x125 - 5AM start

Reality: It snowed all night. School was delayed. Just before bed, I got an email from the YMCA about a delayed opening. I couldn’t get in the pool until 8AM. I started reorganizing my day in my head to see if I could fit everything in.

4AM start at the bakery. We closed for a cleaning day. Staff was scheduled as per usual but everyone had specific cleaning tasks. There is a space behind the dish sink where three years of unused items - cake pans, muffin pans, cookie cutters, salad spinners, blenders, coffee pots…have been piling up. I emptied the space and ridded the bakery of the clutter.

8AM swim at the Y. Thankfully, it was empty and I didn’t have to wait for a lane. I got in and out as quickly as I could so I could head back to rejoin the cleaning party.

11AM start packing for Vegas. I heard from the organizers at the conference where I am speaking about creating unique doughnut. There’s a very good chance I will not have access to a fryer. All the ingredients I told them I needed will be useless if I can’t actually fry a doughnut. I got to work making the doughnuts at the bakery. Once they were fried, I wrapped them tightly and packaged them in a plastic container. When I’m assembling a doughnut menu, I feel a little like a rockstar. I have my set list in front of me and check off all the hits as I go. When I finished gathering ingredients, I had 20 containers of glaze, sprinkles and treats and another 4 piping bags filled with chocolate, nutella and buttercreams. Everything was wrapped and triple packed to make sure there wouldn’t be any spills on the way across the country.

12:45PM start packing for Vegas. Brad and I had to leave the house at 1PM, 1:15 at the latest. I had yet to start packing my clothes. I spent 15 minutes searching for my chef’s coat, the one I only wear for special occasions, and 5 minutes packing for the rest of the week. Packing shorts for my run was the most exciting thing I’ve done in a while.

1:20PM leave for Brooklyn. Brad was picking up his daughter from her mother’s house (her school closed because of the snow threat) to take her to her track practice before our flight out of Newark.

1:30PM return to the bakery. I forgot to leave house keys for Lily who would be staying with my kids on Wednesday night. There was no other option but to turn around.

1:45PM leave for Brooklyn, again.

8:55PM leave for Vegas. After track practice, dinner with Olive and a trip back over the bridges, we made it to the flight. My giant box of doughnuts was successfully checked. The plane was empty. We had a whole row to ourselves as did most of the passengers. I queued up Michelle Obama’s audiobook and settled in for a six hour ride.

2:30AM arrive in Vegas. We jumped in a cab and headed to the hotel. There were no non-smoking rooms remaining…gross.

3:30AM lights out….well, not on the strip but definitely for us.

Tuesday

Plan: RUN 5x1K @ 7:00 pace

Reality: 7:30AM after tossing and turning for 4 hours, I got up and dressed to run. It was a perfect 50 degree, clear morning. Brad joined me as we headed down the Las Vegas strip. I felt groggy but good. When I started my first K, I thought I was putting in the effort to hit my pace. It was difficult but I knew I could hold it for 1000 meters, then I looked down and saw I was only at an 8:00 pace and there was no way I could run any faster. The second K was the same and we were thwarted by MC Etcher style road crossings requiring us to go up and down stair cases, in and out of casinos. We couldn’t get a good rhythm. I continued to move through the workout, dodging drunks and meth heads, waiving to other runners we passed along the way. My final K was the closest I got to hitting my pace and I was still 30 seconds off. Before my cool down was over, I was already plotting my redo next week.

9:00AM head to convention center. I opened my carefully constructed box of ingredients to see how it weathered the flight. I was horrified when I saw the love note from the TSA displayed prominently inside the box. They opened the package and rummaged through the containers. There were sprinkles strewn all through the box, glued to the sides with dripping, sticky glaze. FUCK!

I tried my best to reorganize and salvage as much as I could.

10:00AM check in to the Artisan Bakery Expo. I found my presentation area and unpacked my doughnut components. There was stadium seating for the attendees! Quite the spectacle. I caught up with a few fellow bakers who I haven’t seen since the last time we all taught together at the Bread Baker’s Guild ‘Wheatstalk’ conference in Providence last year.

12:15PM 15 minutes to show time. I whipped cream and cut the tips off my piping bags. The sound guy gave me a mic to wear. I had my set list in front of me. I was ready to go.

12:30PM presentation 1 of 3. Brad sat in the audience and took pictures and videos for me to share later. The kids were really excited to see what I was doing in Vegas. I talked about my doughnut style and walked the audience through simple ways to take basic ingredients and customize them. There were skilled bakers, amateur bakers, bakery owners, ingredient companies and people looking to open a bakery for the first time there to listen. Pretty much as broad a range as you can find at a bakery expo.

1:30PM break-down. I packed everything so that I wouldn’t have to bring anything back home. I hate checking luggage on a flight. My entire presentation was disposed of in 5 minutes - what wasn’t eaten by conference goers, that is.

1:45PM Pizza Expo. Brad and I ventured into uncharted territory. Parallel to the Artisan Baking Expo, Pizza Expo was in full tilt. I never knew there were so many different versions of pizza printed three piece suits until now. I ate as much cheese, cured meats and completed pizzas as my body could handle. It was a carb lovers dream come true.

3:00PM meet with Solveig. Tomorrow’s presentation is a collaboration with Solveig Tolfte about each of our experiences in opening a bakery. She owns Sun Street Breads in Minneapolis. Our bakeries are the same size, same age, same staffing, same philosophies yet totally different. We reviewed the powerpoint she put together, showcasing both our stories.

4:00PM break. Just enough time to get back to the hotel, shower, change, 15 minute nap and head out for round two.

5:00PM meeting with Steve. A couple years ago, I attended a brainstorming session for a large European ingredient company looking to expand their doughnut offerings. That’s where I met Steve. Turns out, he has a home just down the street from my great uncle in a very tiny town near where I grew up. He’s also a runner. In fact, he’s run at least a mile, every single day for the last 20 years. He’s 99th in the world on the list of longest running streaks, and he likes doughnuts. Brad and I joined Steve and the rest of the group from his company for dinner. We gorged ourselves on BBQ until we couldn’t eat one more bite, and we sure did try.

9:00pm bed. finally. sleep.

Wednesday

Plan: SWIM 2100

BIKE 55:00 workout

Reality:

4:30am wake up. It’s pouring rain. I’m exhausted. I’m not going to run.

5:00am wake up. It’s pouring rain. I’m exhausted. I’m not going to run.

5:30am wake up. It’s pouring rain. I’m exhausted. I’m not going to run.

6:00am wake up. It’s pouring rain. I’m exhausted. I’m not going to run.

6:30am coffee. I really wish I’d brought my own. I used to travel with a whole set up. I thought it might be okay to trust the hotel coffee in Vegas. I was wrong.

7:00am breakfast. We walked downtown past most of the tall buildings and bright lights where the meth is seemingly more plentiful and there’s a little diner tucked away in the corner. After some eggs, home fries and a slice of ham as big as my head, we were on our way back to the convention center.

9:00am presentation 2 of 3. Solveig and I went through all the specifics of how we each came to open a bakery. It was super informative and we tried our best not to scare anyone off while still giving everyone a good idea of how much money and work it takes to keep it all going.

11:00am break. We headed back to the hotel where we had lunch and time for a 15 minute nap.

2:00pm back to the expo. Brad stayed back to go for a run while I worked my way back to the convention center for my final presentation.

3:00pm cruised by the Peroni booth at the pizza expo for a “sample”

3:15pm caught up with Amy of Amy’s Bread whom I haven’t seen in over a year. Of course we meet more often in other cities than in the one where we both reside.

3:30pm presentation 3 of 3. Tried to remember what I said earlier and what I still needed to say again.

5:30pm back to hotel to meet Brad, arrived with exactly 5 minutes to spare before we had to meet his cousin for dinner.

6:30pm dinner with cousin Barket. Brad’s dad sent an email to himself months ago, only it was the wrong email address. As luck would have it, someone responded. Turned out to be a long lost cousin who no one in Brad’s immediately family ever met, until tonight. We met up with Steve and his family for dinner and I somehow managed to stay awake.

9:30pm bed, no run, no bike, no swim, just bed.

Thursday

Plan: RUN 4mi tempo

Reality:

3:45am alarm goes off. Hastily finish packing and head out to catch a cab. Hotel casino and lobby were packed with people still up from last night.

6:00am heading down the runway.

Carolyn texts: ‘Pink pussy doughnuts for International Women’s Day?”

I respond: “Can we do something different? Maybe everyone can pick a woman who inspires them and match her with a doughnut??? What if we put RBG’s dissent collar on a chocolate doughnut?”

6:15am plane takes off, I switch to airplane mode and listen to the end of Michelle Obama’s autobiography followed by David Sedaris’s newest, Calypso.

2:00pm plane lands after 40 minutes of the worst turbulence I’ve been through on a descent.

2:01pm I take my phone off airplane mode to see a million messages about lady doughnuts…Lisa Simpson, Julia Child, Serena Williams, Frida, Tina Fey, Kathrine Switzer

2:40pm I arrive at the bakery and head to the office to resolve the rest of the doughnuts…Ellen, Michelle Obama, Amy Scherber.

3:15pm the kids arrive home from school. I tell them about the doughnuts, Josie says we have to include Malala.

3:30pm the kids and I start prepping the glazes, fillings and doughs for our International Women’s Day doughnuts. Jessie made special tags for all of them. I post a sneak peak on IG.

8:00pm we head home from the bakery and everyone goes straight to bed.

Friday

Plan: GRIIT @ Architect

Reality:

3:00am BAKE I go to the bakery and meet Carolyn at the door. I had to mix the semolina raisin fennel dough for the Amy Scherber doughnut and I wasn’t quite sure how it was going to come together. I candied fennel seeds and made a glaze with them yesterday. The dough was a brioche that included plumped raisins soaked in fennel juice. Once it was finished, I put it aside to rest while I worked on the rest of the doughnut menu.

7:00am I rushed to finish the the first tray of RBG collars before the kids had to get ready for school. The flowers for the Malala doughnuts hadn’t arrived yet. I piped a pink buttercream flower on her pistachio doughnut so I could take a quick picture. I lined up all the finish doughnuts with the tags Jessie made and took a photo which I immediately posted on IG & FB.

7:05am got the kids breakfast, made sure they had clean clothes on and found them socks that sorta matched.

7:45am sent kids to the bus stop and I went back to the bakery to finish more doughnuts.

8:00am the doughnuts were already selling out. I elected to steal doughnuts from an evening order to make more special lady doughnuts. I would have to mix more doughnut dough for the order but I didn’t need to have them ready until 6pm. Between doughnuts, I made Irish Soda Bread.

10:00am shape sourdough for Saturday & braid challah

11:30am break for a 15 minute nap!

12:30pm mix doughnut dough for evening order

1:30pm shape doughnuts, eek out a couple extra trays to restock the retail supply which is quickly dwindling away

3:00pm fry doughnuts

3:30pm kids arrive from school. Josie helps fry and glaze doughnuts, the boys help make sugar cookies.

4:00pm done! Kids and I go to Anne’s for pizza and a comfy couch to sit on for the rest of the evening.

Saturday

Plan: RUN 1:20 minutes

Reality: I met Anne at 5:30am to begin my run. I thought I would be able to get 7 or 8 miles in over the 80 minutes I was allotted. I was shocked when I saw I was at 7.5 and I still had 15 more minutes left. That’s when I decided I was going to stick with it until I saw double digits on my watch. I haven’t run 10 miles since August. I made it back to the bakery in 1 hour and 28 minutes with 10.1 miles done! Going into the run I felt like a failure. My whole week has been a mess…botched workouts, skipped days…I hadn’t completed a single activity as planned. Completing my first double digit run in 8 months made everything better. I felt like I could have run forever this morning and when the run was over, I finally regained a sense of accomplishment.

It’s funny, looking back, I accomplished so much this week…presenting 3 seminars in Las Vegas, creating a viral doughnut menu honoring women I admire, keeping the kids fed, dressed and (most of) their homework complete but all I can focus on are the workouts I missed, the things I didn’t get to do.

Week 28

When the bakery opened this morning, a grandfather and his 20-something daughter were the first two customers in the door. I overheard him explain what a ‘duffin’ is and tell her all about our unique doughnuts. I could see how proud he was to share his bakery find with her. He told the staff he’d like to start with a box of six doughnuts, it was his daughter’s first time and he wanted her to have a good assortment to try.

I grew up in the country with my mother’s family, sandwiched between vast cornfields, cow farms and the Chesapeake Bay. There was one coffee shop, one diner, one nice restaurant…if a second one of anything ever opened, the two would battle it out until only one survived. I wasn’t exposed to much variety in the way of food beyond the dishes my grandmother prepared from the veggies she grew in her garden or the sweet treats like whoopie pies and cinnamon buns my mother brought home from the Amish bakery at the local farmer’s market. I did develop a deep love for blue crabs & Chesapeake bay oysters!

Contrary to my mother’s parents, my dad’s father was not a fan of children. In fact, I don’t remember interacting with him at all until I was a teenager. I called him Pop pop John. I was the only grandchild for eight years. When my aunt’s son was born, my grandfather said ‘I’m over this pop-pop, poppy shit. The kid can call me Sir until he’s only enough to call me John.’ From that point on, I was the only one who called him Pop pop, the rest of the family called him Sir.

John was a company man for AT&T. Watching Mad Men is like watching old family movies. My maternal grandmother taught me how to bake but it was John who taught me how to run a business. “If you’re on time, you’re late. Always bring a paper to read before the meeting starts.”

I loved spending time with my grandfather. I often felt like I didn’t belong in my home town. John opened my eyes to a world beyond the place I lived. He talked to me like I was an adult, even though I was only 12 or 13. We were both early risers. I would wake up with the sun and he was already sitting on the sofa with a cup of coffee, the Wall Street Journal in hand and CNN’s stock ticker going across the television screen. We would take a walk into town together where he would introduce me to his local favorites…a coffee shop that makes the best muffins, a bakery with exceptional croissants, the only place to buy a copy of the New York Times. When it was time for lunch, he’d take me to the bistro he discovered that only has six tables but makes the best gazpacho. I don’t think I ever had croissants, gazpacho or coffee that wasn’t Folger’s before my grandfather expanded my horizon.

If it wasn’t for my grandfather, I would have never gone beyond the Delmarva Peninsula. Each summer he and my grandmother Jackie, took me on a road trip. Over the years, we went as far up as Montreal, with stops in Boston and Burlington and everywhere in between. Then we went south to Gainesville stopping in Richmond, Charleston and St. Augustine on the way down. The summers I loved the most were the ones spent on Martha’s Vineyard where my grandparents had a house on a lake. It couldn’t have been further from my life on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. After a trip to the Black Dog Cafe to pick up breakfast, we would sit on a park bench by the waterfront. He would read the Wall Street Journal while I filled out the New York Times crossword puzzle. Our worlds collided when the WSJ started including a food section. He would send me highlights over the years. Just an envelope, no note, with a column he clipped that he thought would be of interest.

When John retired from AT&T, he took a position teaching in the MBA program at the University of Florida, his alma mater. He encouraged me to apply to the undergrad program. I wanted to study photography. He told me to major in advertising - there’s pictures and you can make money. So I did. After an internship with an ad agency gave me insight into the kind of people I would be working with, I changed my major to French and never looked back. I didn’t tell John until the semester I graduated. I knew he would be disappointed.

A year later, I told him I wanted to give up my fledgling teaching career and go to culinary school. He told me he didn’t want his granddaughter working a blue collar foodservice job for the rest of her life. ‘You’ll never make any money,’ he said. ‘You’re always going to be in debt,’ he said. My dad, who also defied my grandfather’s wishes when he opened a convenience store in a small town instead of taking a corporate job in the city, supported my decision. John and I never spoke after I enrolled in culinary school. He passed away nine months after Josie was born. She took her first step at his funeral.

He was right. I don’t make any money and I am always in debt but I love what I do every day. And he was right about the business degree. The day I completed my MBA was the day I missed him the most - until the story about me and my bakery was published in the New York Times. When he was alive, my biggest goal in life was to have a byline in the Times, I never ever imagined I would have a story about me published. I’ll never forget the day Marissa Bates told me her story idea was accepted. I was at Josie’s horseback riding lesson, somehow still upright after only 2 hours of sleep. I just had three bakers quit, at the same time, and my marriage was at a particularly low point. I was happy to see her friendly face at the barn and I fell to pieces when she told me what she was working on.

If I didn’t chose this live, I would have missed the opportunity to see another girl’s grandfather introducing her to his favorite bakery and remembering all those good times I spent with my Pop pop John.

Weekly Training Log

Monday: SWIM 500, 6x75p, 4x50d, 4x200 s, p

Tuesday: RUN: interval ladder, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3 - equal time on/off

Wednesday: BIKE: 50:00, 3x 4@75, 3@85, 2@95, 1@100, 5 easy

Missed my scheduled swim

Thursday: RUN: WU, 3 miles @ tempo, CD

Friday: BAKE: 4am doughnut/bread shift

Saturday: BIKE 80:00 endurance

Sunday: RUN: 65:00 - Early AM with Anne - just like the old days!!!

Week 27

Monday RUN: 5K Doughnut Run Redo

If I use a pace calculator and I enter my most recent marathon time, it says I should be running a 5K two minutes faster than I ever have. Granted, those charts are based on optimal training and the perfect racing conditions. I’ve never focused on training for shorter distances and I understand that I shouldn’t hold myself to impossible standards. I also understand there is room for considerable improvement in my 5K time.

I wanted to race 3.1 miles around my six month post-op mark to test my fitness level and to see how far I’ve come from square one. Three months ago, I still had yet to start running again. I didn’t know when that day would come, especially considering the surgical team told me I couldn’t even consider it until 6-12 months out. I couldn’t find any local 5K races on President’s Day weekend so I decided to host my own and redo the 5K Doughnut Run course I ran in December.

I was grateful for my friends who were able to join me. The ice melted just in time for the ‘race.’

I have to be honest, I played it too conservative today and I didn't give it my all. Somewhere around mile 2 I was at my goal pace and I backed off to settle in to my comfort zone. Sometimes I feel like I only have one race gear whether it's a 5K or a half marathon and I can't quite sustain at the next level. 5Ks are really difficult for me mentally, however, I am determined to overcome and make greater strides over the next few months.  I spent a year training very conservatively, running lots of junk miles and never really going for it. I learned to hold back. I focused on consistency and endurance over speed and power.  I was disappointed in myself for not pushing harder today but I was still able to cut 3:30 off my time since running the course in December, so there's that. And I had fun which is far more important to me than the time on the clock.

Healing: one week, three months, six months.

Tuesday: OFF

I drove myself to my six month follow-up appointment with the surgeon at University Hospital in downtown Newark. The whole way there, I thought about how great it felt to have regained my independence. I no longer needed someone to drive me to my appointments, to help me get in and out of the car and to navigate the hospital for me. At my first follow-up, I wasn’t even strong enough to open the door to the bathroom. Brad had to hold it for me to go in and I waited for him to let me out.

From the second I stepped foot through the sliding glass doors, my entire hospital experience was exactly the opposite of what I experienced six months ago. The staff was friendly and smiling. The halls were clean and empty, not stacked with beds, dirty linens and overflowing garbage. I walked by patients in wheelchairs and on crutches, thankful I’ve made it past that stage.

I didn’t have to wait to be x-rayed. The technician took me into a room, sat down with me and explained exactly what she would be doing to get the film series…how she would have to move me, where she would have to place her hands on my body. Maybe I wasn’t the only one complaining about too much touching in the x-ray rooms or maybe my complaints were heard and policies have changed since I met Handsy-Manny.

I thanked the technician and told her she made it through all six films faster than anyone else had been able to. In the past, there’s one angle that’s a little tricky and has had to be retaken every time. She got it on the first try. She asked how long ago my surgery took place. When I told her it was in August, she asked how I was able to walk in so easily, without using any devices to assist me. She said, ‘you must have done a lot of PT.’ I didn’t tell her I raced a 5K the day before.

Dr. Adams greeted me after my x-rays. He reviewed the images with me and said they were exactly what he was hoping to see and they should remain unchanged for the rest of my life. The space between the ball and socket of my left hip joint is exactly equal to that of my right with no notches or rough surfaces from the bone breaks to prevent the joint from moving freely.

I showed him the data from my most recent track workout and the data from the exact workout last January. I’m faster now. He giggled with delight. He said, ‘you know, we [surgeons] don’t see this. This doesn’t happen.’ It’s easy to forget how far I’ve come now that life is mostly back to normal.

Updated X-Rays. Still holding strong.

Wednesday: SWIM 100s, 100p, 100k, 4x50d, 800s, 4x50d , 400s, 200cd

I learned to swim two years ago. I took swim lessons at the Y. When I was evaluated to determine which level I would be starting, the instructor rated me ‘Beginner 2.’ I’m assuming ‘Beginner 1’ is drowning in the pool and ‘Beginner 2’ is not drowning based on my self evaluation. That’s how terrible I was.

Last summer, when I was training for the Lake Placid 70.3, I wore flippers on my feet whenever I was in the pool. They served as my security blanket. As the length of my swims increased, I was afraid to cross the pool without them. I dreaded swim days.

After my accident, when I was finally cleared to get in the pool, my insecurities were gone. I was able to float. Everything I’d worked on over the last couple years started to click. I find learning to swim is a lot like learning to run, in the beginning you go as fast as you can because you think that’s the only way, then you discover there’s a different pace, the one you could hold for as long as you need to, a comfortable pace. It took me two years to find it in the pool. Mostly because I was afraid I would drown if I wasn’t frantically pushing forward.

Today, part of my workout was an 800 yd continuous swim. It was a longer distance than I’ve swim in a pool before. I think my desire to get the workout completed as quickly as possible in order to be on time to my meeting with the Montclair Police Department eliminated any nervousness I should have felt. Shockingly, the hardest part of the whole swim was keeping track of my laps and counting all the way to 16. The pool and I have a completely different relationship than we did before my accident.

After a quick meeting with the cops to review the safety needs for the 5 Mile Race to bRUNch, the kids, Brad and I took full advantage of their early dismissal.

Thursday: RUN 45:00 easy

As a group, the Fueled by Doughnuts Running Club tries very hard to support runners of all paces but we’ve had a hard time getting beginners to join in the fun. It’s a little crazy considering the biggest thing we do all year is host a 5K which draws a larger than normal percentage of first-timers.

Hillary and I spent the day laying down plans for our June 5K in Branch Brook Park. Even though bRUNch preparations are in full tilt, 5K registration opens on March 1st and we have to get our ducks in a row. We decided, for the first time ever, to host a 5K training program and it’s 100% free to join! I want to share Hillary’s cheerleading (coaching) skills with as many people as possible and I couldn’t think of a better way.

Over 50 people registered before the end of day. What a great way to launch this year’s Fueled by Doughnuts racing season!

Friday: BIKE 55:00

Brad and I decided to order bean bags in lieu of chairs to accommodate more butts in our postage-stamp-sized living room. I spent a little (too much) time (hours) reading Amazon reviews on bean bag chairs before I decided which ones appeared to be right for us. There were six sizes listed. I opted for the ‘small’ which was slightly larger than the ‘extra-small’ because the later was said to accommodate one child and I wanted to be able to do some bean bag lounging too!

The first bean bag arrived. It was a solid brick that weighed more than 50 pounds. Brad carried it into the house and the kids immediately ripped off the packaging. In lieu of beans, our bag is filled with compressed foam. The instructions said it will take 4-5 days to reach its full size potential. When the bag started to swell, the kids helped it along by jumping on it to break apart the foam pieces. That’s about the same time that Brad and I begin to grow weary of my bean bag choice. He told me he didn’t know I was going to order a bougie bean bag. I told him I didn’t want to get something that would fall apart in three days - our kids are NOT gentle with objects, after all.

Within an hour, the bean bag filled the entire living room. If this is ‘small’ I do not ever want to see the ‘large’ version. I would have to find another place to sleep. I imagine it would be similar to the scene when Alice eats the cake that makes her limbs expand out of the windows and door of the Wonderland house. All I could think about was the second bean bag, yet to be unboxed.

Bean Bag Party

Saturday: RUN 30:00 easy, 1 mile @ 8:00, 1 mile @ 7:30, 1 mile @ 7:15, cd

I didn’t do the math but at first glance, it seemed the last three miles of my long run would be faster than the 5K I ran on Monday, if I hit the paces. It was the first time my coach assigned paces since I started running again. Until now, everything has been based on effort and consistency. I was mentally prepared to fail. On the other hand, I was eager to give the workout a try to see how close I could come to meeting the goal paces.

The first mile was tough. I was too fast, too slow, trying hard to find an 8:00 pace. It was my goal marathon pace last spring. I spent so many miles training at an 8:00 pace but today, I just couldn’t quite settle. My watch beeped at the end of the mile - 7:55. The 7:30 was a little easier. It’s just on the edge of my comfort zone. I knew I had to run just shy of ‘all out’ to maintain it and I did…7:29. Thankfully the third mile started with a slight down hill so I was able to easily pick up the pace. I went a little faster than I needed to because there was a pretty long uphill after the down and I wanted to have some wiggle room. I finished out the mile in 7:11, faster than I thought I was capable of maintaining. When all was said and done, I ran the last three miles of my run 47 seconds faster than the first three miles of the 5K on Monday.

I try to keep my actual paces under wraps because it really doesn’t matter if it’s a 5:00 mile, a 9:00 mile or a 12:00 mile, the mental game is all the same. My training run today was a bit of a mental breakthrough. I know my body can handle the faster paces it’s just about getting my mind to recognize it too.

Week 26.2

I Opened a Bakery

I opened Montclair Bread Company in May 2012. Malachi was five months old, Keegan was two and Josie was three. The first week was tough. One customer walked in the door, saw me standing behind the counter and burst into tears because I was the new guy and she missed the old guy. The bakery which occupied 113 Walnut Street before mine, ceased to exist when the owners retired and moved to Australia.

Slowly, I forged ahead and welcomed new customers. I never wanted the bakery to look empty so when times were slow, I invited my friends to come by for coffee and croissants on the house. I asked them to sit outside to enjoy them so people walking by would notice. I did whatever I could to encourage people to gather at the bakery. I read stories about doughnuts to children on the patio, I gave away prize boxes of doughnuts each week, I organized a community street fair and I started a running club.

When the going gets tough, it’s easy to forget there was a time when no one came to visit. There was a time when thirty customers made for a busy day. There was a time I couldn’t afford an espresso machine, a real dough mixer or a steam injected bread oven. There were workarounds, lots of them. Customers emailed me their orders. Some of them I remembered to write down. Some were lost forever. I forgot about a cake order for Christmas Eve one year, a Boston Cream Cake for someone’s husband who had the unfortunate luck of being born on one of the busiest bakery days of the year. I couldn’t produce the cake. I apologized a lot.

I got better at hiring great people as the bakery grew. I hired people who were really good at the things I am really terrible at…like organizing customers’ orders so they don’t get lost or hiring great people.

I keep opening the door each day because I don’t know what else I would do in life.

I love having the ability to bake whatever I want, whenever I want. Sometimes I bake a batch of bread I haven’t made in a while on a sleepy Monday afternoon. Occasionally, I sneak to the bakery well after hours, and whip up a batch of chocolate pudding with fresh whipped cream on top. Once I spent all day (after the morning baking was complete) making a huge batch of tamales for the staff. Owning a bakery is like having giant foodie playground you can visit anytime.

I love seeing my children absorb the world around them, the only world they know. “How old is your daughter? When did she learn how to braid challah?” She’s ten and I’m not sure of her first time, she’s been doing it for as long as I can remember. I never taught her how to button her shirt but she figured that out too. Both Josie and Keegan have their ups and downs in math. Josie had to be pulled out of class for extra assistance but when she got to the unit about money and making change, she tested above average for her grade level. Keegan struggled through long division but is flying high through fractions and percentages because he knows his way around a recipe.

I’ve had a lot of failures. The banana split doughnuts were a huge flop and a giant waste of time. As much as I adored the spicy semolina bread sticks, no one else did. All it takes is one big win and I forget about all of those things that didn’t stick. I know I’m doing something right when I get emails and notes pining over the cinnamon buns or asking for more carrot cake.

Every single time I pull a perfect baguette out of the oven, I feel validated. Flour, water, yeast & salt mixed in just the right way, perfectly shaped, perfectly proofed, perfectly scored…deep brown crust pulling up and away from the center of the loaf with crisp, slightly charred edges. There is truly nothing that makes me happier than a baguette that tells me I did everything right.

More than the baking, I love the people. The reason I devoted my life to baking bread, rather than making fancy wedding cakes, was to be a part of the community for breakfast, lunch & dinner, everyday, not just one special occasion. I remember the woman who came in every morning for coffee the first year I was open. Then, she was joined by a man. They served my doughnuts at their wedding reception. Today, they continue to come in with their two kiddos. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this long enough to see families grow and change but it is truly a special thing to witness.

Would life be less stressful without the bakery or would I find another project to take up the same mental space? In some ways, I live for the stress of it. Nothing is more gratifying than finding a solution to a really tough problem. All of those disasters, the stresses, the reasons why I would tell anyone who asks NEVER to open a bakery…I live for them. I moved the bakery to a new space in less than 24 hours on the coldest day of the year so we could be open for business on New Year’s Eve. I stalked the Mayor at a local ribbon cutting for another business to enlist his help convincing the town that the Baker’s Dozen Half Marathon was worth doing….after it was already sold out….after I got a cease and desist order from the town…after they had given provisional approval. I came up with a plan to make doughnuts on the busiest doughnut day of the year without a functioning mixer. If I didn’t have to overcome these daily challenges, life would be boring and dull. If I didn’t know what it was like to pivot on a dime and come up with plans b, c and d, maybe I would still be using a cane to walk down the stairs instead of racing 5ks and piling on miles through the streets of Montclair. Maybe.

Creating memories through food and community is the most rewarding part of my business and the number one reason I keep giving up a good night’s sleep to unlock the door in the morning. There’s nothing more satisfying than teaching a baking class and a couple weeks later, getting a picture of a loaf of sourdough one of the students made at home. Or hearing the 10 year old in my summer camp tell me if his science class was this cool, he would totally pay attention….after listening to my detailed description of how yeast makes bread rise.

When I opened the bakery, I sought to right all the wrongs (or what I thought was wrong) of my previous employers and recreate what they did well. The company I worked for just prior to opening the bakery, and for the first three years of business, eliminated their entire marketing department because ‘we’re a sales driven organization, not a marketing based organization.’ This was during the time I was wrapping up my MBA in marketing. I made sure to allocated Montclair Bread Co. dollars to create a brand that people recognize. I designed the logo to mimic the punk rock band logos that used to be stenciled across every side walk and street sign in Gainesville, FL.

I can’t count the number of awful experiences I’ve had. In college my boss screamed in my face showering me with droplets of spit after I gave it my all to make it through Easter brunch service because I didn’t move a stack of plates fast enough. The world renowned pastry chef I worked for at the Ritz told his sous chef the accurate instructions to make a recipe work, in French, and only gave me part of the method knowing I would fail. He didn’t know I spoke French…until the day he cursed at me in his mother tongue and I dropped an egg on the ground in horror. I rarely had creative control over anyone else’s menu. Above all, I never felt like I was doing enough to prove I could work to my potential while raising my children.

I try to be a better boss and take from the positive experiences I had along the way or the ones I wish I had. Instead of being banished to a mop closet to express breast milk like I was when I worked for a notable grocery store chain, the MBCo office turned into a pumping studio. At one point there were four different women pumping breast milk for their babies at the same time. Every day schools and daycares are closed, the office turns into a nursery full of art projects and half eaten bananas.

As far as creative control over the menu, I encourage the team to make it their own. Kyra’s pear, brie and arugula sandwich is still a top seller, eight years after it first appeared at the bakery. Bananas Foster doughnut, MBCo tarts, Buffalo chicken doughnuts and chocolate chip cookies all started with a suggestion from the staff.

My staff is the heart and soul of the bakery. Without them, none of this would be possible. It’s great to have a team of high school students come in to their own while working at the bakery. I get to hear about college applications, acceptances and then they pack up and leave for their next big adventure in life. When they come back to work at the bakery during their winter and summer breaks, I know I’m doing something right. I’ve gotten notes through the years from previous employees who have moved on to work for other bakeries, coffee shops or take jobs in completely different settings…they say, it’s not the same…there’s no soul. On those crazy days, those crazy weeks, those crazy years, we have each other. No one knows what it’s like but the people standing by my side through all of it. I appreciate them. I am grateful for them. I am grateful for this life, this path I have been given.

Thank you.

Week 26.1

A couple years ago I got a letter from a CPA who really wanted to open a bakery. Based on the fact that he had no baking experience, no recipes and losing his annual vacation time was a real deal breaker, it didn’t seem like the right fit for him. Shortly after this exchange, I put together the following. It’s incredible how relevant it still is.

Here’a a slightly more light hearted version of my weekend woes. Enjoy.

So you want to open a bakery???

Have you ever baked anything?  Do you have your own recipes? Can you use the recipes to make 1000x what you would make at home…everyday?  While you’re making 1000 of those, can you make 1000 of 30 other items concurrently and have them all ready when you open at 6am?  Do you have a summer & winter version of each of your recipes to account for the changes in temperature & humidity? Did you know that’s a thing?

About that 6am thing…how much do you value sleep?  Is 3 hours per night good for you? Are you comfortable starting your day at 12:01am, it counts as early morning because it’s technically AM, right?

If you are not currently in the service industry, are you an athlete, nurse or teacher?  When is the last time you stood on your feet for 10-14 hours without a break to sit down?  Are you confident you can maintain this amount of time on your feet for 6-12 days straight?

How do you feel about meals vs. snacks?  Do your meals have to be eaten while hot?  Are you comfortable substituting hot meals for cold snacks?  You will have about 5 minutes 3-4 times each day to eat whatever you can reach.  Cold snacks just seem to work better. It’s difficult to eat a hot meal while standing and in motion.

Do you have a significant amount of money in savings or a wealthy partner to supplement your income?  How long can you go without a paycheck? Do you plan on having a staff to help you run the bakery? Do you plan to pay them more than the standard going rate so they’ll continue to work for you?  How long can you go without a paycheck?

Do you like the smell of baked goods?  Do you like it when your clothes smell like baked goods?  How about your car? Your house? Your kids’ clothes? ALL.THE.TIME?

Do you have kids?  Are they comfortable losing one parent?  How important is it to you to attend school functions…this includes the daytime pageants you’ll miss because the bakery is open and the evening fundraisers you’ll miss because you have to sleep sometime.  How will you respond to the notes from the teachers asking why you were the only parent who wasn’t present at your child’s super important book reading?

Does your family currently vacation?  Are they okay with having day trips instead of vacations?  How’s 2 day trips per year? Are they going to be entertaining themselves while you’re on the phone with the bakery all day?

How gullible are your kids?  Can you easily convince them that Christmas is December 26th?  How about Easter Monday?  Thanksgiving Friday? Do they really care if you miss their birthdays?  How important are family wedding to you? Will anyone in your family hold a grudge if you miss a funeral or 5?

Do you have a lot of friends?  Do they invite you to dinners, drinks and other evening or weekend activities?  Do you think they’ll still be your friends if you decline every invitation for the next, (how many years do you plan on having your bakery open) years?

Are you comfortable managing millennials?  Are you social media saavy? Do you know what a hashtag is?  Can you cover multiple call outs on one day? On 3 hours of sleep?  You do know how to do every single job in your bakery, right? How many excuses can you listen to before you go insane?

Do you like people?  Do you like people who complain about the baked goods you just spent the last 10-14 hours on your feet to make for them?  How good is your poker face? Do you have any anger management issues?

Can you make a doughnut look like a stiletto heeled shoe?  Can you make a cake for 250 people with an hour’s notice, even if you don’t plan to have cakes on your menu?  Can you make a gluten free, vegan version of everything on your menu? Do you plan to be peanut free? Tree nut free? Egg free? Dairy free? Flavor free? You know, there are a lot of special snowflakes who love bakeries!  Can you fully stock your shelves 5 minutes before closing? Can you just make MORE??? Can you make it and sell it for less than Costco?

In addition to baking, do you have the following skills…

Barista

Retail Management

Customer Service

Marketing

Public Relations

Bookkeeping

Plumbing

Electrical

Accounting

Legal

Town Planning

Construction

Crisis Management

Auto Repair

Sourcing & Purchasing

Debt Collections

Banking

Graphic Design

Arts & Crafts

Web Design

Project Management

Interior Design

Logistics

Facilities Management

HVAC

OSHA

Human Resources

Menu Development & Planning

Health Safety/ServSafe

Sanitation

Food Writing

Editing

Sales   

Week 26

So You Want to Open a Bakery???

***The following is a dramatic account of a weekend in the life of small bakery owner who appears to have her shit together (but never really does), with a phenomenal staff and the occasional outliers.

Maybe you baked a cake for your kid’s birthday party and all the guests told you it was really great and ‘you should open a bakery.’ Maybe the idea of creating your own sourdough culture and laminating butter into croissant dough sounds romantic. Maybe you’re such a coffee snob that you think the world can not live without having your special blend made for them each day. Maybe you see people lining up for doughnuts on Sunday mornings and think opening a bakery could be a real cash cow.

I opened a bakery because baking bread is the only thing in life I’ve ever been good at. It’s the only thing I could do to support my family. I worked for other bakeries for nearly 20 years before I took the plunge. I knew what I was getting into and at the same time, I had no idea what I was getting into. I kept my full time recipe development job for the first three years during which I also worked full time running my own bakery because I knew my business would barely make enough to keep a roof over my head.

If you want to open a bakery, be prepared. There are no days off, ever. Ever, ever, ever….no days off. You might be thinking, ‘no problem, I could bake cakes all day everyday’, right? Wrong, it’s not the cake baking that you’ll be doing when you open a bakery. You’ll be putting out fires. Lots of fires.

An employee will walk out halfway through their retail shift on a Saturday, with a line of customers out the door, because they think they ‘may have an eye infection,’ but they won’t tell you, they tell the other employees who also won’t tell you until an hour later when the shit is really hitting the fan and you can’t do anything about it.

Your wholesale customer will arrive to pick up their order. What order? The same order they get every Saturday. You can’t find it? What about those three trays of buns that aren’t typically sold in the bakery? Right….the ones the staff has been selling all morning, the ones that were supposed to be packed up for the wholesale customer…those buns….

Did you remember to post a picture of the weekend specials on instagram? You know you have to do all your own marketing, right? Sure there are services you can pay to do it for you but they don’t care about your business the way you do and they can’t be there real time and they’ll probably spell something wrong. Remember all the emails you have to answer? Don’t forget to answer the instagram and facebook messages too. More donation requests! And lots of people who want to take over your social media management for you. Some of them have misspelled words in their messages…red fucking flag! Also, be prepared to have everything you post recreated by someone else…pinterest moms, teenagers, other bakeries. No one has any original ideas these days.

The nozzle on the sink will spring a leak and you’ll be on the phone begging the plumber to come and swap it for the new one that’s been sitting in the box next to the sink all week. Then, the staff will call to tell you there’s no hot water at the bakery. No hot water? Is the new nozzle working? It’s working great? So great that it sprays twice the volume of water as the old one? Guess where the hot water went?

You’ll have an order for a red velvet cake but the only one who knows how to make it has the weekend off. No problem, you like baking cake. You’ll spend your afternoon baking exactly one cake while simultaneously baking a batch of 8 dozen breakfast cookies, shaping 36 loaves of sourdough, putting in an order for specialty flours and helping to rework the schedule to cover the employee with the wonky eye. Just when you think you’re in the clear, you’ll get a message that one of the early morning bakery sprained his ankle…he’s not exactly calling out but he wants you to know he won’t be able to do any work when he comes to work so….

The granola jars are selling well and you need more of them. Thankfully, you just secured a source for jars and they were just delivered. Well, the shipping company said they were delivered last week but they weren’t and after an hour on the phone trying to locate them, they shipped a second round of jars. Those jars were actually delivered. You are thrilled that your staff made ingredient labels for the jars but your joy dissipates when you realize the ingredient label is missing the number one ingredient…oats. No problem, you still have the jars. When you open the box, you discover you only have half the jars because the other half arrived shattered. You’ll wait until the following week to spend another hour on the phone with customer service.

You will be setting up coffee grounds to make cold brew on a Saturday night just after closing, when you think you can catch a break for a few hours after the retail staff leaves, before the bakers arrive. The staff didn’t set up cold brew coffee because the brewing bag is missing…the one you noticed on the shelf earlier when you were putting your bowls away. You know it will take 12 hours to brew and if you don’t go in to do it yourself, it won’t get done. Back for round 89….

You have Sunday covered. You do not need to work on Sunday. Finally a whole day to spend with the family. This is why you opened your own business, so you can have more time to spend with your family than when you were working your corporate gig. You can’t help it, you need coffee…the coffee that you selected because your town can not live without it and neither can you so you go to your bakery to get a cup. Where’s the staff? Why is there only one person behind the counter on Sunday morning??? Oh, there are two but one decided to slice 25 pounds of cheddar cheese in an effort to avoid helping customers.

How about the new sticky buns on the menu? Where are the sticky buns??? The staff is doing a great job executing them this week. Last week wasn’t so great, like the day they didn’t put cinnamon in the cinnamon buns, but everyone is back on track. But wait, there’s no sticky buns on Sunday morning? You’ve been preparing for this all week. Why don’t we have sticky buns? There’s no sticky bun goo to put in the bottom of the pan? We ran out on Saturday? Did we write it on the list of things we need to prepare for Sunday? Don’t answer, you already know. There are 4 ingredients. You can have your 10 year old make it so the bakery can have sticky buns for sale on Sunday. You better have a 10 year old type-A daughter on hand for bakery emergencies if you plan to open a bakery. She will prove to be quite an asset.

Wait, you came in for coffee an hour ago, where’s the coffee? The cold brew keg is tapped. You’re out of iced coffee. You wonder how long your bakery has been out of iced coffee and why no one told you…the one who drinks iced coffee 365 days a year. At least you set up the cold brew last night so if there’s not a keg, you can make one up. Whew, there’s a back up keg but you have to replace the empty one because no one else seems to know how or wants to admit they know how.

How about the banana bread? The one that’s new to the menu. Easy enough to hand off to one of the bakers so you don’t have to make it yourself. The first batch was perfect. The second? Not so much. The third? In the garbage. What could go wrong with banana bread? Ohhhh….the baker combined the flours and just used white. Yes, it says whole wheat and white. No, they are not the same thing. Yes, the recipe should be executed as printed. Yes, it matters. You refill your iced coffee and start mashing bananas. So much for having Sunday covered.

There’s always Monday.. Monday is a holiday. It shouldn’t be too busy. You don’t need extra staff. Monday is a holiday, everyone’s kids are out of school. EVERYONE’S KIDS ARE OUT OF SCHOOL. EVERYONE will need to get out of the house. You realize you are grossly understaffed and underprepared for this day. No, this isn’t your first year. No, you don’t remember last year. No, you didn’t write it down. You were too busy making cakes and cold brew and sourdough and banana bread and whatever was on the menu last year to write it down and even if you did it would be lost in the piles of files of piles on your desk, in your drawers or your google drive. It’s okay, you can ignore the chaos for one day. The staff can handle it. The customers can wait a little longer today.

You can not ignore the call about the clogged toilet. Nope, not even if you’re almost finished folding the giant pile of laundry that you’ve been avoiding for 3, three, THREE, weeks. It’s not just a clogged toilet, it’s a clogged toilet that people tried to fix, people that have never unclogged a toilet before. Try as they might, they couldn’t fix the issue. You unclog the toilet in 2 minutes and spend the next hour mopping up toilet water and cleaning the floor. Did you remember to feed your kids lunch? What about breakfast? Where are your kids???

Still want to open a bakery??? A good friend who has a very successful pancake joint once asked me if I knew how much money it took to make $100,000 worth of pancakes. How much? $99,000! It’s about the same in the bakery business. You have to love every second of it because you’re never going to get rich. In fact, if you are able to pay yourself as often as you pay your staff, you’ll be better than the rest. Be prepared to skip a few pay periods so you can meet your payroll and then you’ll probably have to skip a few more. Oh and there’s that $15 per hour minimum wage coming down the road so you might actually want to look for another job seeing as though that’s more than you’re currently paying yourself.

I wish I could say I made all of this up but I didn’t. I wish I could say it all happened over the course of several months, or even weeks, but it didn’t. All of this fun was just three days…all of which were supposed to be days off or at least, mostly off because there are NO DAYS OFF!

Week 25

Graduation Day

Less than two hours after I hit the pavement, just after the first of my x-rays, I reached out to Dr. Mayes. He had just crossed the finish line at the West Point Triathlon and was en route to the Midland Mile but he took the time to give me his professional opinion and try come my nerves. Of course, neither of us knew the full extent of my injury at the time. In fact, even the surgeons down-played it until I was out of surgery and they couldn’t hide the severity of the situation any longer.

I reached out to Geno before I talked to my family. I wanted to know all the facts before I freaked anyone out. So, it wasn’t just a set of crutches, it was a little more involved.

3 Days Post-Op - first time sitting in a chair

My first big challenge was learning how to get out of bed and sit in a chair. 30 minutes felt like a lifetime. I never knew that sitting up could be so difficult. I remember sobbing because the pain was so unbearable. I had so many tubes going in and out of my body and a 14” incision going across my abdomen. I didn’t even know what hurt but it all hurt. Comfortable wasn’t an option.

My next challenge was learning how to walk. My body was so heavy with all the extra bloating and fluid filling my limbs after the surgery. Each step felt like running the last mile of a marathon. I had to use every ounce of concentration and stubborn determination to move forward. I couldn’t go home until I could walk the length of the hallway, so I did, six days after my pelvis was reconstructed.

Home. Life in the wheelchair.

Once home, I couldn’t leave. There are two flights of stairs between my apartment and the rest of the world. Even though I proved my ability to walk down the hallway, I wasn’t physically able to walk down one step. Barbara Foley came to visit every day and she taught me how to use crutches in lieu of my walker or wheelchair. Then she showed me how to navigate up and down a step using the crutches. I practiced inside my apartment on a step straight out of a Jane Fonda workout video.

First time ‘walking’ down the stairs and, subsequently first time outside

Once I mastered the single step, I started practicing on the actual staircase. I hadn’t been outside in over a week. I didn’t stop with a couple steps, I went all the way down and crossed the street to venture into my bakery for the first time in weeks. I finally regained a small bit of dignity even though independence was still far out of sight. I was completely reliant on the people around me.

Fourteen days post-op, I returned to the surgeon to have my incision inspected, my stitches removed and a new set of x-rays reviewed. He told me I could start PT if I wanted but I might be better off waiting until I had more mobility. PT this early would be futile, he said. I would just be learning basic functionality and I could do that at home.

I sent Geno a message while still in the surgeon’s office. I would not be waiting. I had an appointment at Iron PT before I left the hospital that day.

Cleared to start PT

Brad drove me to my first appointment. He had to park so that there was the least amount of space possible between my car door and the entrance to the office. I needed help getting out of the car. Geno met Brad at the door and they both helped me get inside and across the office to the exam table. It took all my strength to make it that far. Geno evaluated the extent of my injuries and my mobility or lack thereof.

One of the first exercises I had to do was simply lay on my back and pull my heel toward my butt. I couldn’t do this without also using my hands to assist my left leg. It seems silly to think now but it was so hard I could barely complete 5 reps. I also had to hold a soccer ball between my knees for 10 seconds without letting it drop. It took multiple tries before I could hold it for all 10 seconds.

Over the next several weeks, I slowly overcame my fears, now under the direction of Dr. C. He wouldn’t clear me to do the next big thing until he was there to witness it. These are in order of accomplishments.

• Lay on my non-surgical side

• Bear some weight on my left foot

• Walk with one crutch

• Bear equal weight on both feet

• Walk with a cane

• Lay on my surgical side

• Walk without any assistance

• Sit on the floor

• Bear my full weight on my left foot

• Hop on both feet

• Hop on my left foot

• Run/Walk/Run

• Jump on a 12” Box

• Run - picking up speed

• Jump on a 20” Box

My Second, First 5K!

After six full months of physical therapy, I graduated. I had to jump from the floor to the top of a 20” box before Dr. C would sign off on my recovery. I was so afraid, it took me 10 minutes of staring at the box and false starts to get up the nerve to jump. As with everything else I checked off the list, Iron PT provided me with a supported, safe place to overcome my fears. This leap of faith was the final test. I landed the jump for the first time in my life. I would have never been able to do this before my accident. I would have never tried.

Everyday, someone asks how I got this far, this fast. What makes my recovery different? The truth is, I don’t really know. I never pushed the pace. I worked within the confines and limitations of what my doctors allowed. That being said, I was not complacent. I had every opportunity to lay in bed and let my body heal at its own pace but I didn’t. If I stayed within my comfort zone, I wouldn’t be running 20 miles a week, biking 35 miles a week and swimming 4000 yds a week right now. I would still be preparing to start running, at the six month mark, like the first prognosis from my surgical team. I ran my first 12 weeks after my surgery and my first 5K at week 16. I am currently hitting the same training paces and mileage I was prior to my accident, something I thought would never be possible.

Embracing discomfort and remaining in constant forward motion is what got me this far. The longer you wait to move, the harder it become. The more you move, the easier it gets. Left foot, right foot, one step at a time.

I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to Dr. Mayes and Dr. C at Iron PT. Being athletes themselves, they know how hard it is to be out of the game and they are committed to doing everything it takes to get back in it. They helped me regain my dignity and my independence.

Week 24

Super Bowl

Montclair Bread Company sells more doughnuts on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year. More than Easter, more than Thanksgiving, more than any other holiday. Who knew? The first year I was open, I thought I might sell more bread for parties but I had no idea people would want to purchase doughnuts. We sold out by 9am, with no hope of making more. I call the shift after a sell-out the ‘apology shift’ because the staff is forced to apologize to disappointed customers over and over again.

MBCo’s First Super Bowl Line-Up

The doughnut menu changes monthly. There is a leadership team meeting each month to plan for the next menu. We account for holidays, special occasions and seasonal ingredients/flavors. Super Bowl is tough because it’s just before Valentine’s Day and generally after the January menu so it gets a whole menu of its own that runs for a little less than a week. Our first game day menu featured Maple Bacon Doughnuts, Beer & Peanuts Doughnuts, Chocolate Covered Pretzel Doughnuts and Team Colors Doughnuts. We took a metal circle cutter and bent it into an oval to turn our Nutella and Boston Cream Doughnuts into footballs.

Shortly after our first Super Bowl menu, we made a special doughnut for April 20th which also happened to be Easter that year. Carolyn, Rachel and I tried to think about foods symbolic to late night food cravings and we came up with what we referred to as The Munchies Doughnut…fudge glaze topped with brownies, m&m’s, pretzels, potato chips and finished with peanut butter drizzle. I took an assorted dozen to an Easter brunch at my neighbor’s house. When she tried the doughnut she told me I should use it on the Mother’s Day menu and call it a PMS Doughnut. So I did. And again on Father’s Day as the Ultimate Snack Food Doughnut.

The following year, when planning the Super Bowl menu, we immediately thought of the Munchies Doughnut. It got a new name, the Touchdown Doughnut, which still lives on. It was featured in the New York Times story profiling me and Montclair Bread Company which went to print on Valentine’s Day three years ago.

Touchdown Doughnuts

For the last three years, Carolyn has begged me to let her make a Buffalo Wing Doughnut. I thought it was gross and I shot it down. She also begs to make mayonnaise filled doughnuts for April Fool’s Day each year which gets a big fat veto. I just couldn’t picture how the doughnut would go together and having never given her much time to plan it out, the idea was always dropped on the cutting room floor. A couple months ago when I brought up an idea for a Chicken & Waffles Doughnut, she called me out. If I could put chicken on a doughnut, why couldn’t she do it? Touché!

Buffalo Chicken Doughnut

I made a mornay sauce with blue cheese which would be used to fill the center of the doughnut. Then I heated brown sugar and honey until it was melted before adding classic Buffalo wing hot sauce. This would glaze the rim of the doughnut and the boneless chicken wing on top. Carolyn and I assembled the doughnut and topped it with a few extra crumbles of blue cheese, a piece of celery and a carrot stick. And there you have it, a Buffalo Chicken Doughnut comes to life. Carolyn whipped cream cheese with ranch seasoning to make a ranch version of our doughnut. This quickly lead to a war between Team Blue and Team Ranch. After all, everything, even doughnut making, is a competition.

The weekend was difficult at best. On Friday, a full-time baker quit with no notice, eager to start a corporate gig with more suitable hours. At midnight when the first baker arrived to mix the dough for Saturday, the mixer wouldn’t start. He had to mix several tiny batches of the doughnut and bread doughs in our only operational mixer. Production was two hours behind schedule. We all worked to get everything back on track. Josie came in to help build doughnut towers and glaze doughnuts for orders. We tried to prepare ourselves for the biggest doughnut day of the entire year, without a mixer! Josie and I worked all day, until 8:30pm, mixing as much of the dough as we could for Sunday and putting it in the fridge to have a longer than usual fermentation. We made 15 trays of sticky & cinnamon buns!!! Thankfully, the 24 hour emergency mixer repair man came in before the day was over and got our large mixer operational.

At 4AM Sunday morning, I returned to the bakery to help finish the Super Bowl doughnuts. I baked all the buns Josie and I made the day before. Then, I piped football laces on 350 Nutella and Boston Cream doughnuts. Josie joined me at the bakery at 6AM and helped to put the final touches on all the doughnuts. There was a line at the door the second we opened. It continued throughout the entire day. All 15 trays of buns were sold out by 9am and the football doughnuts only lasted an hour or two longer.

At 10am, I gathered the kids and took them to Brookdale Park so we could enjoy the nice weather before time ran out. By noon, I was back at the bakery prepping food for the Fueled by Doughnuts Running Club party. Brad and I made wings (without doughnuts), guacamole, hummus, sandwich platters, stuffed jalapenos and more. I think I finally laid my head on my pillow sometime just before 11PM. I missed my Sunday bike workout. My feet were throbbing. Every joint in my body ached from endless hours standing on the concrete bakery floor. Done.

Weekly Training Log

Monday: SWIM 2100 with 6x75, EFE, FEF, 300p, 3x100s, 4x50

PT: Core, Core, Core

I don’t remember dinner.  I baked 1000 sandwich rolls over the last three day and stayed at the bakery until 9pm slicing ham, turkey, swiss and cheddar to make 1000 lunches on Tuesday morning.

Tuesday: RUN: 5x600, 400 recover, finish with 1600

I missed the Tuesday morning group run. I arrived at the bakery at 4am to commence sandwich production. At 5am I was joined by a dozen volunteers to help make sandwiches, package chocolate chip cookies, box fresh fruit, count water bottles and load up 1000 lunches to feed the TSA agents at Newark airport and all the guards at Fort Dix Penitentiary. who have been working without pay for five weeks. The Montclair PBA delivered the lunches using their trailer.

When we finished, it was snowing.  I drove to the track to complete my workout before I was able to convince myself that a nap would be better.

Teriyaki chicken with green beans and sweet potatoes for dinner.

Wednesday: SWIM: 2000 with 4x25, 4x100, 400, 4x100, 4x25

Tacos

Thursday: RUN 50:00 with 3x8 @ HM

Given the single degree temps, I opted to run on the treadmill.  I will not make the same decision next time.

Grilled chicken and roasted potatoes for dinner.

Friday: BIKE 3x8:00 at 70% with 3:00 recovery

Tomatoes, peppers & chicken sausage over cheesy mashed potatoes or what happens when you combine the three separate meals you made to satisfy three children on one plate.

Saturday: RUN 65:00 snuck out between filling orders and prepping for the Sunday bake.

Cheesesteaks on pretzel rolls because it just doesn’t get old!

Week 23

Testing recipes for the bakery menu

On Quitting

Monday night was bitter cold. Tuesday morning was going to be even worse, a high of 7F at the start of the 5:30am group run. I had a track workout on my training schedule 10x400. I thought, maybe I’ll just go and get the group run started then I’ll head back to bed. I can do the workout after the sun comes up. It will be a few degrees warmer. Still, I put out my running gear, all 3 layers, for the next morning.

The alarm went off at 5am. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I never want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to leave everyone waiting in the cold, so I forced myself to leave the warmth of my blankets behind. I stumbled through the dark over the legos strewn about the living room carpet and made my way into the bathroom to get dressed. I put on my running gear and thought, I don’t really need to do the workout, I could just run with the group.

I made my way out the front door, dressed to run. I stopped in the bakery for a sip of coffee before I crossed the street to unlock the clubhouse. Ten brave souls came out to run. We took a quick photo and they headed off in the distance. I decided to drive to the track for my workout. I sat in the car and realized I didn’t have my key. It was already 5:45. If I start now, I still won’t finish before the group is back from their run. I told myself, I should just go back to bed instead. I walked up the stairs to my warm, cozy apartment, grabbed my car key and returned to the cold to drive to the track.

Brookdale Park was still and empty. There wasn’t any sign of life on the track which is normally filled with runners, walkers, bikes, soccer balls and other riff-raff. It was dark, quiet and cold. I started my warm-up, slowly circling the lanes 4, 3, 2, 1… . I paused my watch and took a couple minutes to stretch before starting my first 400. As I stepped to the line, I thought, I don’t need to run fast, I can just go a little faster, just a little more effort than normal. It doesn’t have to hurt. I started down the first straight, not so much as a glance at the pace on my watch. I backed off a little on the first turn and picked it up at the second straight. I thought to myself, just make it to the turn and relax, 10, 9, 8…. Back at the line, I hit the lap button on my watch and saw my first split. It was what my 400 time would have been before my accident.

I slowly jogged around the track to catch my breath before I made it back to the line for my second 400. I told myself the first one was a fluke, I went out too fast, I could never sustain that pace for 9 more rounds. I needed to hold back, just a little, and save my strength for the rest of the workout. I backed off on the turns. I felt comfortably uncomfortable. When I hit the lap button, I was shocked to see the same number as the first. It felt easier.

As I took my recovery lap, there was ice in the corner of my eyes. My thighs were so cold, they burned. The moisture from my breath froze into the neck gaiter I pulled up and over my nose. I couldn’t feel my toes. This is the same lack of feeling I live with in my hip every day.

Back to the line for number three, I hit the lap button and took two strides forward before my watch beeped. I glanced down. It was dead. It fully charged but the battery froze, literally. The cold burned my lungs as I rounded the first turn. I started thinking, I don’t have to do this, I don’t have to finish, I can slow down. Nobody will know. There’s no way to save this workout. There’s no way to know what pace I’m running so why does it matter?

I finished the third lap with the same level of effort as the first two. During the recovery lap, I kept telling myself all the reasons why quitting would be okay. It was still dark. My body was quickly becoming a block of ice. I could feel a deep ache in my hip, the cold penetrating the metal holding my bones together. I have nothing to prove. I don’t have to finish this. And then, back at the line, I picked up the pace for round four or was it five? Did I lose count?

I thought back to my last day in the hospital. Taking one more step forward was the most painful thing I’ve ever done. Just one step. Now, I have the ability to run loops around this track. It is a gift. I will not give up. I have to prove this to myself.

As I finished the 8th lap, I thought, I’ve done enough. That’s a full two miles of effort. I can live with two miles. I’ve done enough. But then, I reached the line and picked up the pace again to finish the 9th lap and then the 10th. As I circled the track to recover, I kept thinking about the 4th or maybe 5th lap. Had I really completed all 10 or was it only 9? I could make myself go around the loop just one more time and so I did. My 10 (or maybe 11) 400’s were over. I quickly made my way back to my car. The sun was starting to rise. My eyes were filled with ice, my toes were completely numb and I couldn’t feel my fingers. I was done. I didn’t quit. I didn’t give up. I didn’t cut it short even though everything in my mind was telling me to stop.

Everyday the thoughts passing through my head tell me it’s okay to quit yet everyday I fight to ignore them in an effort avoid the easy way out. I fight to put one foot in front of the other and rest in a state of constant forward motion, even when the obstacles in front of me seem insurmountable.

Josie & Keegan snacking before we start making 700 doughnuts!!!

Weekly Training Log

Monday: SWIM 2100 with 6x75, EFE, FEF, 8x100s, 4x50 EF, 100s

PT: Core, Core, Core

Rice bowls with veggies and pork.

Tuesday: RUN: 10x400

Cheesesteaks with grilled veggies.

Wednesday: SWIM: 1800 with 12x25, 4x100, 12x25, 4x50

BIKE: 1:05 with 8 easy, 6@70%, 4@85%, 2@90% 5 easy, 3x8@80% with 3 recovery

Another 700 doughnuts made for the TSA agents - Brad made & delivered tacos to the kids and I while we worked.

Thursday: RUN 50:00 with 3x6 @ HM

Baked chicken with sweet potatoes & broccoli

Friday: OFF!!!! Not in life, just in training.

SWIM: Friday family swim at the Y with all 4 kiddos.

Turkey, veggies & rice for dinner

Saturday: RUN 65:00 with Lizzy, Yana and Liz before the big Fueled by Doughnuts meet up. Brad and I have to tag in and out with the kids so we can both get a run in. I was on the early run shift, late kid shift.

Cheesesteaks on pretzel rolls for lunch! Stamna with family for dinner.

Sunday: BIKE 1:30 with 2x (10 endurance, 4—>95%, 5 easy) 2x (2@80%, 2@90%, 1@100%, 4@70%)

I ate 2 cinnamon buns & 1 pecan sticky bun for lunch followed by 2 bowls of taco salad for dinner post long ride.

More recipe testing…

Week 22

Baking people happy!

Monday: SWIM 10 min WU, 4x50 drill, 4x 50k, 4x 50 d, 10 min CD

PT: Single leg strengthening & core work

Still on the diet reset this week…day 1 of veggie chili.

Over the last couple weeks, the leadership team at Montclair Bread Co. has been discussing ways we can help government employees affected by the shutdown. On Monday morning, we decided to give free coffee and a sandwich or loaf of bread to anyone who needed it. By Monday evening, the response from the community, supporting our initiative, was incredible, however, I wondered if we would be able to reach enough people.

I was sitting at home texting with Jessie & Jessica from the bakery. I didn’t want anyone to think our offer was simply a means to get Montclair Bread Company in the press. I wanted to do more and I felt helpless. Then I asked Jessie how we could deliver doughnuts to the TSA at Newark Airport. While she scoured the internet for contact info, I posted a message on Facebook asking for anyone with any connections to help.

In less than an hour, I was emailing the office of the Executive Director of Port Authority and telling him my plan…a coffee break for the TSA. I would make coffee and doughnuts for all the workers and deliver them to the airport. Then, I waited.

In the news…

Patch

Tuesday, January 15th: RUN 50 minutes easy

Day 2 of Chili for dinner

On Tuesday morning, I became so consumed putting out a figurative fire on the home front, I didn’t notice when the call from Port Authority never came. I didn’t notice the alert from my calendar letting me know I was supposed to be on a conference call with a group of the most amazing lady bakers in the country…the planning committee for a baking conference later this year. I spent most of the day in a really dark place, feeling like I failed.

In the news…

Bake Magazine

Wednesday, January 16th: SWIM: 2100 total 4x400 1,3 S; 2,4 P

BIKE: 1:00 total with 3x10:00 at 75% See below for the replacement activity!

Day 3 of Chili for dinner

I glanced at my phone when I got back to the locker room from the pool at the Y. There was a message from the Port Authority. My head was back in the game. I rushed back to the bakery office and returned the call. Aidan told me there are 2000 employees across the three airports in the system. I explained what I wanted to provide. He told me he would put in a call to the Federal Director of Security at the TSA (funny enough, his contact also came through Facebook!). Less than an hour later, Scott from the TSA called. He is the Transportation Security Manager. He explained that there are 2 shifts in terminals A&B and 3 shifts in terminal C. He gave me the head counts for each. Their peak hours are 5am-9am during which times, no one is able to take a break. We decided a delivery just after 9am would feed shifts 1 & 2 at each terminal and I would provide a box of cookies for the 3rd shift staff.

Then he asked “is tomorrow too soon?”

We don’t take any orders with less than 48 hours notice. It takes that much time to get the ingredients together, production plans in place, staff scheduled… I told Scott tomorrow would be just fine. It was already afternoon and I just pledged to feed over 500 TSA employees the next morning. I couldn’t put the burden on my baking team. On a Thursday, we have a small team. There was no way they could handle increased production. Then I remembered the quality testing we did leading up to our races. I knew if I packaged the doughnuts properly, I could make them late in the evening and they would stay fresh for the morning delivery. I still needed help. It’s impossible to keep up with the yeast as it starts to rise, without an extra set of hands.

At 3:30pm, the kids got off the school bus. I was at home waiting for them. We sat in a circle on the floor and I explained the government shutdown the best I could. Mac said “Momma, I don’t get it. If the president isn’t doing his job, why don’t they just fire him.” I don’t get it either Mac.

I convinced the kids to help me make the doughnuts for the workers. We started mixing dough at 4pm. This is not their first time helping out but it is the first time I’ve been completely dependent on them. Josie and Keegan cracked eggs, weighed ingredients, cut butter and dumped everything into the mixer. We made 50 pounds of doughnut dough.

After the dough was mixed and it had time to rest, the kids rolled it out into long sheets. We took turns cutting the sheets into strips and the strips into squares. These would puff up in the fryer like little doughnut balls or nuggets as we started calling them (anything but a munchkin). Brad took pictures of the process and we set up a time lapse camera for a little extra fun.

Josie said “you know, everyone thinks I’m lucky to be your daughter because of the bakery but they just don’t understand how hard it is always setting up for another event.”

Once the frying started, the kids took the hot doughnut nuggets and tossed them in a bowl of glaze and sprinkles before boxing them up. Josie labeled each box with the appropriate terminal and shift. Once we were finished, five hours later, the bakery was coated in rainbow sprinkles. Keegan said “this is what happens when you have kids doing your work for you.”

In the news…

The Daily Meal (alongside Chef José Andrés)

Remember when I couldn’t use both legs and I was still balancing on crutches? This is the routine I described…trying to put the bread on the racks in the bakery.

Thursday, January 17th: RUN 50 easy

Finally, no more chili!!! Baked trout and veggies for dinner.

The bakery staff started brewing coffee into the giant insulated containers we use for races at 5:30am. It needed to be drained into to-go boxes at the last minute, so it would be hot when it arrived at the airport. Milk crates were packed with cups, sugars, stirs and dairy. Everything was separated by shift and by terminal. I got the kids off to school, then I packed up the car with doughnuts and coffee. Brad was my co-pilot. He had contact numbers for supervisors at each terminal.

We left the bakery just before 9am and pulled into Terminal A twenty minutes later. Jennifer and her team met us at the departure gate where they loaded a cart with all the goodies to take back to her staff. We repeated the process at Terminal B with Jesus and Terminal C with Allison.

Mission Accomplished!

On Monday, I was sitting at home watching ‘Breaking News’ cycles and feeling helpless. This morning, I was able to offer a very small token of my appreciation for the people who are working without pay to keep us safe. I received hugs, handshakes and lots of smiles. It was an incredible experience all the way around, from baking with my kids to circling the airport terminals with a car full of doughnuts. I decided I wasn’t going to stop with one delivery. As I posted Brad’s pictures on social media, I committed to a weekly doughnut delivery until the workers get paid!

Contrary to what some may believe, this was not a publicity stunt. This was a contribution in the only way I know how to contribute. Making 2500 doughnut nuggets and 12 gallons of coffee isn’t easy especially when it’s hastily thrown into the schedule. It is my hope that seeing my story will encourage others will follow suit and show a greater audience that there is strength in community.

When we returned from the airport there was a call from Senator Menedez’s office. They wanted to know if we would be willing to host the senator and eight NJ residents who are furloughed or working without pay, as part of a round table discussion. I said yes, not having any idea what I just committed to.

In the news…

New Jersey Record

NJ 101.5

Friday, January 18th: SWIM 10 min WU, 4x50 drill, 4x 50k, 4x 50 d, 10 min CD . . I just couldn’t fit it in :-(

Rice bowls with grilled pork loin and roasted veggies for dinner (still not chili!!!)

The kids woke to see their pictures on all the local news sites. They were so excited and so happy they were able to take part. They were eager to share the news with their teachers. I was so proud of them.

At 9am, the camera crews started claiming their space in front of the bakery, ABC 7 and Fox 5 were the first on the scene. At 10am people from the Senator’s office arrived to help me set up the bakery. We moved tables, racks and stools to create as much space as possible. The whole baking team was squished in the back working around a single table. Everyone had to prepare themselves to not have access to the fridge or freezer for two hours. By 11am, the bakery was so full of news cameras, I couldn’t walk through the space. I was interviewed so many times, I forgot who I said what to. “Spell your name. What did you do? Why did you do it?”

Furloughed families started arriving at 11:30am. We made sandwiches and hot coffee for everyone. Their stories were remarkable. The Coast Guard moms told me how their sons aren’t getting paid, can’t afford to buy diapers for their children but will be Court Marshaled if they don’t report for duty. There was an older couple who both work for the IRS. They were furloughed during what is typically one of their busiest times of year. If they open their computers to try to catch up on the work they’re missing, to make their jobs easier when they are recalled, they will be fired. Finally, I spoke to two prison guards from Fort Dix. They have been spending their days calling soup kitchens and food pantries so their staff can be fed as everyone’s savings have run out. I told them I would bring them all lunch and bread to take home one day next week.

The Senator arrived at noon. He spoke to the reporters about his agenda in the Senate, what everyone is doing to help and then he listened as the family’s told their stories. The whole time, I couldn’t stop pondering what else I could do to help.

By the end of the day, I had been interviewed by 4 newspapers, 3 radio stations and 8 news stations. My Dad called to tell me he saw me and my bakery on his local station in DC!

Once all was said and done, I came home and watched a firestorm on the Montclair Bread Company instagram feed as people expressed their discontent with my decision to welcome Senator Menedez. To this I will say, Democrat, Republican, scandal or no scandal, he is our elected official. He is our voice on the Senate floor. If the man wants to come and listen to the people he represents, I will open my doors. Period.

WHOA!!!

In the news…

NJ 12

NBC 4

Montclair Local

Patch

New Jersey Record

NJ Family

Saturday: RUN 25:00 easy, 20:00 10s faster, 10:00 20s faster, 5:00 HM pace, 10:00 easy. I actually hit HM pace!!!

Roasted chicken, sweet potatoes and broccoli for dinner.

As an excellent end cap to this crazy week Stephanie, a local pilot, called to tell me she wanted to take doughnuts to the air traffic controllers at Essex County Airport. They are currently working without getting paid and she can’t do her job if they aren’t there to support her. She offered to give my kids a tour of the control room which they happily took her up on. We boxed up doughnuts and headed to the airport.

The kids had a blast! They got to watch through binoculars as the planes took off and landed. We saw the radar screens with all the tiny blips representing planes in the air. The could have stayed all day. The staff told me not only are they not getting paid but they’re all working overtime. If they refuse, they will lose their jobs. They got paychecks this week that read $0.00.

Before we left the airport, we got a tour of the helicopter hanger. The kids were allowed to sit in the helicopters and check out all the instruments on the dashboards. It was the best day ever!!!

The kids are already looking forward to our family doughnut production next week.

In the news…

PIX 11

Week 21

Turkey Taco Salad

I suffer from anxiety. It’s the kind of anxiety that affects my day to day activities and quickly leads to the kind of depression makes me want to stay in bed and never leave my house, ignore phone calls, ignore emails, ignore the mail piling up in the box. I started taking daily medication when I was 22 and attending the Culinary Institute of America. My body became a science project testing and adjusting to different drug treatments for the next 10+ years. Though it’s not a solution for everyone, running helped me release my anxieties and give up my dependance on the meds.

I was taught early in life that your reputation is the most important thing you have. If you do anything to damage your reputation, you’ll never recover. Worrying about what people are going to think, was normal. If you weren’t concerned, you weren’t protecting your reputation. Needless to say, these impossible standards are the perfect way to set yourself up for the inevitable, failure. After 25 years of therapy, I’ve never been able to detach myself from these notions.

For one reason or another, my anxiety levels were off the charts this week. I had to fight all the negative thoughts in my head, every single day, just to get out of bed. I had 85 reasons why I should give myself a break and not complete each day’s workout and only 1 reason to convince me otherwise. Ultimately, the only reason I was able to get up and lace up was because I knew, if I didn’t, I would feel even worse. I might not hit my goal pace but if I give up before I start, I will be filled with regret.

I committed to a 14 day meal plan led by local nutritionist and runner, Laura Peifer. I wanted to push myself to prepare and eat a solid three meals each day. One of my biggest nutrition challenges is remembering to eat breakfast and then lunch. Often my day gets so crazy, I forget to eat anything until 1PM and then I’m so freaking hungry I eat whatever is in front of me…it might be a salad but it’s probably a doughnut. The 14 day plan is low carb, low fat, no added sugar. Before this week, I thought my diet was healthier than average. I never drink sodas and I don’t eat nearly as much cake as Brad. The first two days on the plan were so difficult that Brad and I both went to bed an hour early because we just couldn’t cope. I felt like I had the flu…cold sweats and all…detoxing from the sugar. On Monday night, I ate an entire cucumber, fist fulls of walnuts and a bucket of grapes but nothing could satisfy my need for a baguette and a chocolate chip cookie. On Friday night, we ordered pizza for the kids while we ate grilled chicken and broccoli slaw. It was tragic.

After the initial shock to my system, the meal plan has left me feeling more stable with less highs and lows throughout the day. I can understand why eating breakfast everyday is important. It’s also nice having the whole week planned out so we can avoid the ‘what’s for dinner’ conversations that normally take up at least an hour each day.

Unfortunately week 1 of the meal plan lined up with a peak week in my training plan, something I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t know it was a peak in the training as I was working through it, all I knew is that it was really fucking hard. As soon as I made it through one tough workout, I headed straight into the next one. When I thought my legs couldn’t handle one more step or one more rotation of the pedals, my arms took a beating in the pool. By Saturday, I could barely pick myself up off the sofa. Then, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel…next week’s plan…a recovery week! I realized I just fought my way through an intense training week with no sugar or beer to reward myself and I survived.

Weekly Training Log

Weekly Training Log

Sunday: BIKE 1:15 with 4x4@90%, 3x1@90%, 1@100%, 1@105%

This workout shattered me. It was the longest I’ve been on a bike since my accident and I fought hard for 105% which, WTF? 105% .How is it possible? I found out how and it sucked.

Late lunch at the Barrow House…biscuits & gravy with a side of IPAs.

Monday: SWIM 1200 with 16x25 fast, 200s, 12x25 fast

PT: Single leg squats ALL. DAY.

Rice bowls with chicken, cucumber and tomatoes.

Tuesday: RUN: 3x1K

Overall, much more consistent than the last time I completed this workout a couple weeks ago.

Turkey meatballs with spaghetti squash made in the crockpot for dinner.

Wednesday: SWIM: 1700 with 6x 100s, 25k 50s, 200 fast

BIKE: 45:00 with 8x1 @ 100%, 1 easy…this is one of those workouts that doesn’t seem too bad at first glance and then those 1:00 easys seem to get shorter and shorter!

Roasted Chicken with sweet potatoes and broccoli for dinner.

Thursday: RUN 45:00 with 3x5 @ tempo - my legs were shattered after yesterday’s swim & bike. I almost quit before I started but I managed to struggle through at a faster than normal, slower than tempo pace.

Turkey Tacos in lettuce wraps for dinner.

Friday: SWIM 1400 with 100s, 200p, 4x50d . This was considered a ‘recovery’ swim. I would never put those two words together. All the swims are a struggle.

SWIM Part 2: Friday family swim at the Y with all 4 kiddos. 1 hour spent floating on a pool noodle. Chlorination saturation complete.

Brad and I ate grilled chicken with broccoli slaw while the kids demolished a pizza :-(

Saturday: RUN 60:00 with Lizzy, Necole and Liz before the big Fueled by Doughnuts meet up. Brad and I have to tag in and out with the kids so we can both get a run in. I was on the early run shift, late kid shift.

Hawaiian salmon with pineapple, roasted red peppers and brown rice for dinner.

Week 20

January 1st, 2016 Having just completed the NYC Marathon in November 2015, I thought it was a good idea to race the Philly Half two weeks later and race the Ashenfelter 8K to get my first mug, four days after that. On Christmas Day it was unseasonably warm. I ran three miles and puked at the end because the pain in my leg was unbearable. A couple days later, I was diagnosed with a stress fracture in my right tibia. I rang in the new year wearing a big, clunky boot. I didn’t get to race the spring marathon I was hoping to because I spent 8 weeks feeling sorry for myself and not running.

Booooo….T!

January 1st, 2017 I didn’t learn my lesson. After racing the Mohawk Hudson River Marathon to my first BQ, I continued running long distances every weekend and racing whenever I got the chance. On the downslope of the Across the Bridge 10K in Maryland, I pulled my peroneal tendon in my left leg. I limped the last two miles and still beat both my brothers to the finish line. That tendon took me out of running for a total of 12 weeks. On December 26th, 2016 I came down with the flu which quickly escalated to pneumonia. I spent the last week of the year, in bed, sicker than I’ve ever been before or since. Between the tendon and recovering from pneumonia I said good bye to my spring marathon goals, once again.

January 1st, 2018 I was coming off a mediocre performance at the Chicago Marathon and eager to start training for the New Jersey Marathon in the spring. On December 30th, I was forced to move the entire bakery retail operation from Walnut Street into the Label Street space in order to open for the the last big day of the year. Despite our best efforts, we were still brewing coffee on Walnut St and running shuttles back and forth to Label St. We were all surviving the second week of the polar vortex.

I was hosting a New Year’s Eve midnight run at the bakery and I spent most of the day preparing food for the event. Just before leaving home, I walked down the stairs with a basket full of laundry, slid off the bottom step and twisted my ankle. I spent the next two weeks icing, stretching, massaging and hoping to get back on the road in time for training to start. My spring training was less than ideal, all the way around. After a late start, I was plagued for a week with whatever stomach bug the kids’ brought home. I don’t think I was every operating at full capacity.

January 1st, 2019 Needless to say, 2018 didn’t go as planned. I thought I was going to complete my first 70.3 triathlon and get an opportunity to redo my NYC Marathon experience.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think back to where I was 20 weeks ago. I have flashbacks of being in the hospital with tubes and drains coming out of my body. I remember sitting on my sofa at home, so uncomfortable, unable to walk without someone’s help. Just this week, I was in CVS with an arm full of toiletries & batteries and I thought back to the last time I was there, on crutches. I couldn’t hold anything in my hands. I was completely dependent on my 6 year old.

As I made the kids’ beds this week, I thought back to the time my friend Jackie came over to clean and organize for me because I could barely manage to get to the bathroom, much less do laundry or vacuum. Every time I cook dinner, I think about all the meals my friends prepared for my family to help us all survive the accident. I am grateful for every, single, shower I am able to take…even the one before and after getting in the pool at the Y with the weird foamy soap.

As luck would have it, or maybe as wisdom from past injuries would have it, I am starting 2019 stronger than any other year in my personal history. I didn’t get the flu or bronchitis or pneumonia or strep throat over the busy holiday season at the bakery which is remarkable in this industry. The holidays take a baker’s body and pulverize it.

I am still rebuilding but in a lot of ways, my body is stronger than it was six months ago. I experience constant discomfort but I am not in pain. I still have little to no feeling in my left hip. It hurts when I stretch to get on and off a bike but I can get on and off a bike! I am balanced. I don’t have any weak muscles…injuries waiting to happen. I’ve worked hard to build core strength for stability in running, biking and swimming. I am focused on form, alignment and careful execution. I feel more love, support, kindness and concern from my community, my chosen family, than ever before.

I am not in a boot. I am not in a wheelchair. I am not on crutches. I am able to get out of bed, on my own, every morning.

Weekly Training Log

Sunday: BIKE 55:00 Cadence Work BOWLING: 1 game, 4 kids, my score: 53…the lowest in our family.

Had to abandon my workout today after a week of work, travel & chaos with the kids finally caught up to me and I just couldn’t squeeze in an hour for myself.

Chili dogs & Hamburgers for dinner.

Tag! Your turn to run, in the rain, in the dark.

Monday: RUN 50 minutes, easy. The intention was to run with Brad and allow ourselves to reflect on the past year as we look forward to the next. The reality, in order for us both to run, we took turns watching the kids and hitting the pavement.

Emptied out the fridge & freezer for NYE dinner: Chicken Nuggets, Meatballs, Tater Tots & Fries

WINDY! Family Track Day or New Year’s Day for the rest of the world.

Tuesday: RUN: (600, 600, 800) x 2 with 400 recovery after each interval. The whole family got on the Brookdale Track. We survived crazy wind gusts.

Tacos, American-style (ground beef, crispy shells, etc), for dinner.

Wednesday: STRENGTH: 45 Minute HIIT class at Architect Studio

SWIM: 4x300: 1,3 s; 2,4 p, 4x50 descending, 100 cd

Dinner 3 Ways: Mac & Josie ate Mac & Cheese, Keegan ate Pesto Pasta and I made pork fried rice for Brad & I.

Thursday: BIKE: 1:05:00 total, 3x10min 70-80% with 3min recovery

Dinner 3 Ways (again): Mac & Keegan ate plain noodles. Josie ate noodles with tomato sauce. I made grilled chicken and avocado on a tortilla for myself.

Friday: 100s, 4x50k, 200p, 5x100s, 300p, 5x100s
Chicken & Rice soup with a crispy French baguette for lunch and dinner. Brad’s recipe he learned from his grandma.

Saturday: RUN 60:00 Rainy run with Anne & Jess.

Homemade cheesesteaks on fresh MBCo buns for lunch.

Week 19

Morning Run

Wyman Family Christmas

Growing up with divorced parents was always challenging around the holidays. That being said, my parents split up when I was a year old so the exchanges and modifications just felt normal. I spent every Christmas Eve with my father and Christmas Day with my mother until I was a teenager, working in restaurants and crashing where ever I landed on any given holiday.

My Dad’s grandmother, my great-grandmother, Lorraine hailed from Miami. She had two sons, my grandfather John, who was a company man for AT&T until he retired to teach at the University of Florida, Warrington College of Business. Fred was more than a decade younger than John. After graduating from dental school at the University of Maryland, Fred opened a dental practice in Chestertown, MD. Lorraine and my great-grandfather, Abel, moved to Chestertown to be closer to Fred and his growing family.

My dad couldn’t say ‘grandma’ when he was learning to talk, what came out was closer to ‘bam-ma.’ Bam-ma was shortened to Bam and that’s how we all knew Lorraine, except for the occasional ‘Bammer’ or ‘The Bammer,’ as Fred like to call her. Fred and his wife Nancy have three sons, John, Chris and Mike. Mike is older than me by exactly one month, Chris is one year older and John graduated from college before any of us were in high school.

Uncle Fred and Aunt Nancy hosted Christmas Eve at their house each year. We would feast on whatever Nancy cooked that could have graced the cover of Gourmet Magazine and often ended in pavlova, my cousin John’s favorite dessert. There were always dogs and cats underfoot. Uncle Fred was a softy when it came to a dog in need of a home. With three boys, at least as many dogs and a couple cats, the house was anything but quiet. Shouting was the only way to be heard. Most dinners ended in a fight among the kids and someone storming away from the table under a fire of expletives.

My dad had two siblings, my Aunt Jan who also joined the ranks at AT&T and my Uncle Jeff who worked for a spin-off company hoping to make it big. In the Christmas Eve heyday, everyone gathered at Uncle Fred’s house, Bam & Pop, my cousins, PopPop John and his wife, MomMom Jackie, my Aunt Jan and Uncle Jeff and my Dad and (step) Mom. It was chaos at its finest. Everyone tried to talk louder to have their stories heard. Dad and Aunt Jan told tales of Sam the Lamb, their pet who ate the sofa when they were kids. Uncle Jeff was outed for the 1000th time for filling footlockers with empty liquor bottles which were only discovered by my grandmother when he moved out of his room in the basement to head off to college.

Then, there were the gifts. At this point, Bam had quite a reputation in our family. She was notoriously thrifty. She washed ziploc bags and hung them on the chairs around the dinner table to dry out before she could use them again. She took a job at the Nearly New, a thrift store in town. When she handed you a wrapped present, everyone watched to see the spectacle. She was like the great aunt in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation who wrapped the jello mold and the cat. I witnessed used underwear, picture frames filled with strangers, and 20 year old bars of soap. I’ll never forget the pair of pickle tongs she gave my cousin Mike one year, to which he replied ‘but I don’t even like pickles…’

Bammer gifts sparked a special sort of holiday madness in the Wyman family. Everyone got in on the fun and re-gifting became our tradition. Sometimes, the re-gifts were never really gifts in the first place but rather, something the giver didn’t have to pay for. My uncle gave out toothpaste samples and toothbrushes, all nicely wrapped as if they were leather gloves. My dad once wrapped sleeves of red solo cups and airplane bottles of booze. Prior to working for the state park system in Virginia, Dad owned a liquor store in Chestertown for 25 years where solo cups and bottle openers were never in short supply.

Even though the family has suffered losses and spread out across the country as we’ve all aged and Bammer passed away years ago, we still unite over these memories. My dad likes to joke that Bam was a real trendsetter…she was thrifting, reusing and recycling long before it was mainstream cool.

I kept the tradition strong this year, gifting 5K Doughnut Run memorabilia to my mom, dad, brothers and cousins! I hear MBCo 5K mugs are all the rage in Maryland this year.

Weekly Training Log

Sunday: BIKE 5x1:00 high cadence/ 1:00 regular, 5:00 build to 90%, 25:00 @ 70%, 20:00 easy

I had friends over for cookie baking fun in the afternoon so naturally I ate cookies and drank beer and egg nog for dinner.

Monday: SWIM 200s, 4x50k, 2x100p; 4x50 descent, 200p, 4x50d, 300s, 4x50 steady

PT: Dr. C is determined to get me to jump onto a 20” box. Getting closer but not there yet.

Brad & I went out to Ani Ramen for Christmas Eve dinner.

Tuesday: RUN: (800, 800, 400) x 2 with 400 recovery after each interval. Getting closer and closer to normal paces.

Christmas Dinner with the Shrouts…prime rib, potatoes, carrots & green beans and See’s candies for dessert. Finally a home cooked meal that I got to sit and eat. Much appreciated.

Wednesday: SWIM 200s, 4x50k, 200p; 200s, 2x100, 4x50, 8x25, 400s

Brad made enchiladas with shredded chicken and tomatillo sauce…the first real food in our house in a week.

Thursday: OFF - Traveled to Maryland with the kids to visit my mom and dad for the holidays.

Pizza for lunch, fried chicken for dinner…it happens.

Friday: BIKE 10 Warm Up, 10@70%, 8@ 75%, 3 easy, 6@80%, 4@85%

Cheesesteaks from my all-time fav hometown joint for lunch. Out for sushi with the fam for dinner.

Saturday: RUN 60:00 I ran by the house where I grew up and along the side of the Chester River. It’s duck (or maybe goose) hunting season in Maryland and guns were firing all around me. What a way to get your heart rate up!

Week 18

This is my first holiday season without my grandmother. It’s the first time I can’t pick up the phone to ask if I add the sugar into the eggs before or after I whip them. I always forget and I never wrote it down because it gave me an excuse to call her.

The cookies changed over the years. Mombo (she was my MomMom but Josie gave her a new name when MomMom didn’t quite come out right) would see a recipe in a magazine and add it to the list, offing one of the stragglers from the previous year. There were always pizzelles, pecan cups, chocolate chip cookies, and reindeer antlers.

Melt away fudge was a staple too. She would hide it as soon as it was made so my grandfather wouldn’t eat it all before Christmas. In recent years, she made me my own tin of fudge to take home to New Jersey. Mombo grew up with three brothers. They would make fun of her to no end if she had any mishaps in the kitchen. She learned to pour her mistakes into the rain gutter at the edge of her parent’s house if something went awry. Sometimes the fudge turned out perfect and sometimes it was gutter fudge. When I started baking with her and I messed up a recipe beyond salvation, she would often tell me to “gutter it.” Unfortunately, my first attempt at making Mombo’s fudge this season turned into gutter fudge when I scalded the milk on the bottom of the pot.

After my fudge fail, I decided to stick with Mombo’s cookies instead. Every day this week, the kids and I have tackled a different recipe. Most of her recipes were cut from the back of packages or out of newspaper columns. There are as many clippings in her recipe box as there are hand written note cards. Even the fudge appeared on the back of the Baker’s Chocolate box. I consulted the instruction manual that came with the pizzelle iron to see how much batter to put on the press and I discovered Mombo’s note card with her recipe was copied straight from the pizzelle manual.

Click the links to the recipes.

Reindeer Antlers

Peanut Butter Blossoms

Cowboy Cookies

Pecan Cups (Tasses)

Pizzelles

Gingerbread Houses

Weekly Training Log

Sunday: OFF

Monday: SWIM Warm Up: 100s, 100p, 4x25k Main Set: 2x (2x100s, 4x50p, 1x200s) Cool Down 100s

Brad and I treated the kids to American-style tacos for dinner….the kind with the ground beef & seasoning mix. We even baked hard taco shells.

Tuesday: RUN 3x 1K with 1K rests between. I completed the workout on the road because the track would have been really lonely. Roselynn stuck by my side for all of my repetitions. I’m not sure I would have been able to push myself to complete them without an assist. I was able to keep the intervals consistent and unlike last week, I did not walk for any portion of the recovery K’s.

We made rice bowls with pork, avocado, edamame, cucumbers and red peppers for dinner.

Wednesday: SWIM Warm Up: 100s, 100p, 4x25k Main Set: 4x200s, 3x100p, Cool Down 100s

STRENGTH: 45 minute HIIT class at Architect Studios with Roy

I hosted the FbD Ugly Sweater Run and Beer Swap in the evening which meant, pizza for dinner!

Thursday: PT Continued to work on squats, running drills and core exercises.

Our week of cookie baking caught up to me and we almost didn’t eat dinner. I threw together a sloppy tray of lasagna and baked it just enough to get gooey for the kids and I to down before bed.

Friday: BIKE Warm Up 10min, Main Set 10@70%, 8@75%, 3 easy, 6@ 80%, 4@ 85%, Cool Down 4 min
This was the same bike workout I completed last week. This week I was a little faster and a lot more consistent on the build. I took the first 70% a little easier and I was able to finish the last 4 minutes at 85% strong. I watched the CNN countdown to shut down in lieu of the timer on my watch.

I ate a really late lunch after my workout. Rice bowls with eggs & avocado. Dinner was a tray of sourdough, olives, prosciutto & brie - my go-to meal when I can’t think of anything else and there’s nothing in the pantry.

Saturday: RUN 60 I love the timed long runs. It makes me leave all expectations for pace and distance on the side of the road. I can do whatever I want, run with whoever I want, as long as I’m out there for 60 minutes. I like to take these really easy as a nice treat to my body after a week of training. This particular 60 minutes was spent running with the Fueled by Doughnuts group and Jessica. I tried not to talk about bakery business too much!

Week 17

5K Doughnut Run

It’s Monday morning. I woke up at 5am unable to go back to sleep. Images from yesterday’s event are still swirling around in my head. I went down to the bakery to get a cup of coffee. It’s like waking up the day after a raging party, only with 3000 sets of running shoes & poly-tech tights instead of heels & cocktail dresses. There are empty tubs from hot chocolate and coffee stacked tall inside the bakery. The patio is filled with barricades, tables and water bottles waiting to be picked up.

Two months ago, I asked Dr. Mayes if there was an off chance I would be able to run my 5K this year. Dreams of participating in the Ironman Lake Placid and the New York City Marathon were far behind me. My recovery was progressing but I didn’t have any real goals besides walking on my own and resuming my normal daily activities, which I’ve accomplished. At the time, I hoped I would be able to walk the course by December 9th as I was only just able to walk without crutches. He told me that it was a possibility but not to get my hopes up. We were going to keep taking my progress one day at a time.

Starting line strip tease

Yesterday, I stood at the starting line waiting to send the runners up the hill. My kids were next to me. Brad was there with us as the official race photographer. The great thing about being the one who starts the race is that you’re never late! I took off my jacket, shed my track pants and pulled my sweater over my head. I handed my clothes to Josie who took pride in wearing my race director jacket for the rest of the day. After I counted down the start, I passed off the megaphone and jumped into the crowd. I knew if I started crying, I would lose the tiny bit of lung capacity I desperately needed to get up the hill. I held back my tears.

For the first time, I wasn’t annoyed by the crowds of people in front of me. I didn’t bob and weave to get ahead. I stayed right where I was and I was happy to be there. Runners passed me. Some said hello and congrats. For the first time, I was able to appreciate everything I have accomplished. I ran my first mile exactly 5 years ago during the first 4K Doughnut Run. I brought together a team of people who help to create this event year after year. 2500 runners showed up in 22 degrees to run for doughnuts. I led a group of bakers and volunteers to make 8000 doughnuts on Saturday night. 8000 doughnuts!!! I survived. My body got put back together and I survived. I didn’t stop when I could have. I didn’t give up. I put one foot in front of the other. I used the walker to get to the end of the hall so I could be discharged. I figured out how to walk down two flights of stairs with crutches so I could leave my house. I taught myself how to bake with one hand so I could work while balancing on a cane. I got back on the bike. I got back in the pool. I laced up my shoes this morning and I ran 3.1 miles with 2500 people.

“It’s just a fucking doughnut.” This sign hangs on the wall in the bakery office. It’s a common behind-the-scenes response when a customer overreacts because we sold out, aren’t taking any more orders, didn’t meet their overreaching expectations… It’s not going to change the world, it’s just a fucking doughnut. This race was started to thank the community who encouraged my doughnut making madness…the runners who came in every Sunday morning to carb-load after their runs. The strangers who handed me wet, sweaty dollars are now my closest friends. The doughnuts brought this community together. It’s scary to go out with strangers and run your first mile when you’re overweight and out of shape but they like doughnuts and I like doughnuts so we have that in common. Doughnuts helped and continue to help break the ice, unite strangers and make running fun. I didn’t do this on my own. Pia, Anne, Anne, Cara, Roselynn, Gina, Mary Rose and all the other runners who decided to make Montclair Bread Company a destination after their miles, they did this. I just made the doughnuts.

This Week @ Montclair Bread Co.

Post Race Recap: Although it may appear as though nearly 3000 runners, volunteers, kids and sponsors had an amazing event, Gina and I think it was the best one yet, there were several people who didn’t find it to be so great. Take, for example, the thread which appeared on one of the local FB groups about how my organization needs to be “taught a lesson” because someone was “trapped” in their home and couldn’t attend a “very expensive” dance class they signed up for. Ashley & Hillary jumped in to say ample notice was given and we raised money for a worthy cause. That wasn’t good enough. Apparently, it is not acceptable to post notice of these events in the very same place residents lodge their complaints. There were numerous other concerned citizens, the same citizens who didn’t say a word when PSEG shut down the very same streets for 6 weeks this summer, who felt they should have been been personally greeted by the race staff and given accommodations for their loss of residential space for the 40 minute disruption. Our team does everything possible to alert the town. It’s easy for someone to say we should send out messages through the town wide alert system but what they don’t know is that we sent several emails requesting this notification, none were returned - EVER, in 5 years of races. At least I know that If I should ever decide to step down as race director, I can find at least 10 people on the Share Montclair FB page who can do a much better job than Gina & I did.

On a much happier note, Gina and I received hundreds of messages from people who enjoyed our race. Social media was a sea of doughnuts on Sunday and Monday. It was, and always is, the highlight of my entire year. I couldn’t believe the number of first timers and PR’s we had at this year’s race, an incredible display of fun & community!

Baking Classes: This week began a packed calendar of cookie baking classes. They sell out almost immediately upon posting, in September! My first class was Wednesday evening and was just for kids. One mom dropped her kids off 30 minutes before the 90 minute class finished, then sent a very nasty email to our team about how she wasn’t properly attended to and she will never be signing her kids up for another class with us again. Sad, the kids were nice.

We had one space open for an adult class. Someone emailed us to ask if she and her boyfriend could share the space for one person. They would only eat the cookies and use the equipment for one entry. Shockingly, this is not the first time we’ve received the same email. I’ve decided to create a canned response suggesting they call the Richard Rodgers Theatre and ask if they can share one seat to the next Hamilton performance. If the theatre says yes, I will allow them to share a space in my class.

Yelp: Years ago, as in 5 years ago, my therapist demanded I delete the app from my phone and block it from any other electronic devices which would allow me to see my customer reviews because it was causing me an exuberant amount of anxiety and was doing no good for anyone involved. This may have been after someone wrote that “monkeys could do it better” than my staff. Jessica and Carolyn monitor the review sites for any riff-raff that may require actual attention, otherwise, I only see what’s posted on FB and IG. This week, Jessica shared a review with me because it was just that absurd. Someone in Montclair wrote a very negative review because I chose not donate to her event….FOUR years ago, when we were still on Walnut Street and didn’t have enough space to bake everything we needed for a normal day!!! “How can we call ourselves a community business without helping our community?” she asked.

I wish I could let these outliers roll off my back. I just want everyone to be happy. Why is it so fucking hard? If I don’t give anyone anything, they complain. If I give to some and not others, they complain. If I give to everyone, I can’t pay my staff and I think they will definitely complain about that one the most.

Needless to say, I came down from my 5K high pretty quickly this week. My anxiety levels are through the roof. I am more grateful now, than ever before, to have my ability to run back so I can release this negative energy. Hopefully I can make it to the 25th!

Weekly Training Log

Sunday: 5K Doughnut Run! Made it through the finish line under 30 minutes, 27 and change, a goal I set for myself. I tried to stay steady, focus on my form and take whatever I could get.

Brad & I gorged ourselves on fried chicken, mashed potatoes & mac and cheese from Raymond’s for dinner. We had it delivered (yes! delivery from Raymonds!) and ate on the living room floor.

Monday: Swim: “It’s Called Water,” my coach aptly titled today’s swim. Warm Up: 100S, 100P, 4x25K Main Set: 2x 4x50S, 2x100P, 4x25K Cool Down: 100S

PT: Almost called to cancel my appointment as the fatigue of race prep (not the run part) weighed on me. I didn’t and I’m glad. I made it through another series of jumps - single leg, double leg, up, down, sideways…

Determined to avoid ordering take-out, I made spaghetti bolognese for dinner. It’s tough cooking for one when Brad’s in Brooklyn and the kids are with their father.

Tuesday: Run: First track workout. 400, 800, 1200 with rests equal to intervals. 1.25 warm up and cool down. I wasn’t sure how my new hardware would tolerate intensity. My 400 matched what it would have been six months ago but the longer distance were more difficult to complete.

Finally, the fridge is stocked with real food. We made it to the grocery store. Brad made roasted chicken & rice for dinner.

Wednesday: Strength: 45 Minute HIIT with Adrienne at Architect Studios. Lots of squats & deadlifts.

Still avoiding take-out, I made ramen with roasted pork tenderloin for dinner post-cookie class. I swear I only ate two pieces of rugelach.

Thursday: Ride: 45 minutes total on the trainer. 10 minute warm up, 10 @ 70%, 8 @ 75%, 3 easy, 6 @ 80%, 4 @ 85%, cool down. I finally set up my trainer inside and watched TV while riding. What a great way to multi-task!

PT: I was thrilled when Dr. Mayes introduced a very familiar series of drills. It was just like my warm up routine I use during speed work…hip openers, cariocas, side steps. I also made it the entire length of the slide board. I gawked a couple months ago when Geno suggested this was a possibility. I’m still apprehensive about the 20” box jump.

I reheated the spaghetti bolognese for dinner and added a cold carrot & beet slaw I picked up earlier this week at Trader Joe’s.

Friday: Swim: Warm Up: 100S, 100P, 4x25K Main Set: 2x 2x100 S, 2x50P, 1x200S Cool Down. Today was one of those days I needed to remind myself that I would have done ANYTHING to be able to get in the pool three months ago and I need to continue to be grateful I have the ability to swim. I wanted to go to the Y early but I kept finding reasons to delay my trip until almost 2pm. When I couldn’t come up with any more excuses, I completed my workout for the day.

After a very long day of work at the bakery and the running club, I managed to throw a pot roast with carrots, potatoes and peas in the oven. It was a late dinner but it worked.

Saturday: Run: 55 Minutes Easy. I couldn’t help but add 3 more minutes to round out 6 miles. Great turn-out for the Saturday group run. The pack got several head turns by solo runners on the opposite side of the street. I think they thought they missed out on a local race!

I have a thing for instant oatmeal - the maple & brown sugar kind. I like it a little runny with a splash of milk in a coffee mug. I microwave it when I get in the shower, post run, so it’s the right temperature to eat when I get out. I followed it up with avocado on yesterday’s baguette because the avocados were rotting and needed to be consumed.

Week 16

Photo: Khushbu Patel

2018 5K Doughnut Run

For the last four years, Gina Imperato and I have organized this annual race. Neither of us had any experience hosting a 5K prior to the Doughnut Run. Typically, Gina works with companies like Bloomberg and IAB to manage award shows, conferences, and other major events that require attention to detail and careful logistical planning but do not equate to shutting down 3.1 miles of Montclair’s streets. In the past, I have organized several large scale events like the Walnut Street Fair and I’ve worked to cater meals for thousands of people. Together, Gina and I thought we could create a 5K that was really something special. We wanted to extract all of favorite pieces from every race we’d run and put them all in one event. Who had the best medal? Who had the best shirt? Who had the best amenities? Our race is not cheap but neither is the experience we offer. Here are a few highlights from this year’s preparations

Mac entertaining himself during packet stuffing

This week has been a test of my physical ability from 18 hour days on my feet to cutting 800 lbs of doughnut dough out of the mixing bowl. I can’t say I got one full night of sleep. In addition to the race preparations, the kids schedules were crazy with three consecutive half days of school and 3 parent teacher conferences. As of Saturday night, I am barely holding on. I can’t be in three places at one time which is making life difficult. I feel like I’m letting everyone down and dropping too many balls. I can’t get it all done. I am grateful for everyone who offered to lend a hand.

Bib Labeling

Behind the Scenes

Daily emails to the Race Director: 20

Daily emails to the Race Director that can be answered by reading the info provided on the race site: 20

Daily requests for personal favors from people I don’t know: 7

Hours per day spent on the phone with vendors: 2

People trying to sell bibs in public forums after the transfer deadline: 25

Bibs Hillary flagged to request photo ID: 25

Volunteers: 200+

Volunteer Hours: 500+

Sponsors: 30

Emails, calls, messages to potential sponsors: 300

Friday night dough prep with Keegan

Supplies

Gallons of Hot Chocolate: 80

Gallons of Coffee: 80

Gallons of Water: 125

Bottles of Water: 2500

Top Finisher Mugs: 98

No Parking Signs: 70

Number of Cars parked on Walnut Street where there were 20 No Parking Signs: 30

Barricades: 70

Porta Potties: 30

Pizzas ordered for Volunteers: 20

Beer consumed by volunteers (Rachel & Gina): 6 cases

Doughnut Packaging

Doughnuts

Doughnuts for Runners: 8000

Doughnuts for MBCo retail: 2000

Doughnut Holes for Water Stations: 5000

Boxes Assembled for Doughnuts: 2600

Stickers Placed on Boxes: 5200

Sprinkles: 25lbs

Jelly: 90lbs

Sugar: 25lbs

Chocolate Ganache: 100lbs

Vanilla Glaze: 50lbs

Milk: 30 gallons

Butter: 70lbs

Eggs: 50lbs (that’s 360 eggs cracked!)

Flour: 400lbs

Dough for Race: 865 lbs

Mixing dough: 6 hours

Rolling & cutting dough for the race: 11 hours

Frying dough: 7 hours

Glazing, sprinkling, filling & powdering: 7 hours

Boxing Doughnuts: 7 hours

Frying Doughnuts with Josie

Preparation Timeline

12 Months Out: Post-Mortem - What went well, what can we improve next year? Before the last runner crosses the finish line this year, we will know what doughnuts we’re making at next year’s race.

6 Months Out: Shirt design complete, medal design complete, promo material complete. Start reaching out to sponsors. Start promoting registration opening day.

4 Months Out: Confirm sponsors prior to registration launch. Organize social media blitz to promote registration. Try our best to warn people about a sell out race.

3 Months & 1 Week Out: Open registration for Fueled by Doughnuts Members

3 Months Out: Open registration. We typically organize a 6am mimosa party to watch the registrations come in. As soon as the race sells out, we submit numbers to shirt vendor & medal vendor, order finisher mugs, order beanies, stickers for doughnut boxes, race bibs & other branded race swag.

2 Months Out: Social Media blitz to announce volunteer opportunities.

30 Days Out: Secure permit from town. Meet with MPD to discuss route & any changes from prior year. Order rental supplies - tables, porta potties, barricades. Order chips from timing company

14 Days Out: Start folding doughnut boxes, order non-perishable supplies for doughnut making

9 Days Out: Bib transfer deadline, print labels for bibs

5 Days Out: Stick chips & labels on bibs, stuff race packets. Social Media blitz to announce road closures. Order milk, butter & eggs for doughnuts. Complete walk through of finish line area

48 Hours Out: Post No-Parking signs, organize supplies. Accept deliveries of rentals. Transport, unload and set up race shirts (25 cases), merch (10 cases) & packets to expo

24 Hours Out: Prep expo, make doughnuts, box doughnuts, hand out bibs & race shirts, deliver barricades to intersections, fill van with water stop supplies.

Race Day: Hold on tight.

Weekly Training Log

Sunday: Off (unless you count running around the bakery all day, setting up for the Fueled by Doughnuts pizza party)

Monday: PT - focus on dynamic, cardio-heavy, explosive movements in preparation for speed work on the track next week

Tuesday: 5 mile easy run with Fueled by Doughnuts

Wednesday: Architect Studios - 45 minute interval class with Adrienne

Thursday: 5 mile easy run, PT focus on core strength and stability

Friday: OFF

Saturday: 5 Mile Run followed by production of 8000 doughnuts = 16+ hours on my feet

Week 15

Austin, TX: Cacti, Airstreams & Tattoos, oh my!!!

Sunday, November 25th One of my biggest fears post-accident is that I won’t PR again. There are so many unknowns as I work through recovery. I’m pretty confident I can run 3.1 miles but I still don’t know if I can make it to a half marathon. I don’t know what my hip will be able to tolerate and what will be my breaking point.

I purposely leave any indication of my paces out of this story. I am not an elite athlete. I’m not a sub-elite athlete. I would consider myself to be middle of the pack. There will always be someone faster than me and, in most cases, there will be someone slower. Accidents like mine could happen to anyone - fast, slow, just starting out or lifelong athletes. The struggle of recovering and dealing with the unknowns, are the same for anyone who can’t do what they love.

I set my alarm for 5am to go for a run before the kids woke up this morning. Today, I completed four miles running 10 minutes on, one minute off for a total of 36 minutes of running and three minutes of walking. My body feels normal. My legs, my hip, my feet, they’re all fine. I struggle to regain my cardio fitness. I can’t believe how hard it is to breathe through these short miles. I turn the pace screen off on my watch so it’s not even a consideration when I’m focused on staying steady and taking it easy. At the end of my run when I checked the data screens, I was happy to see I’m settling back into what would have been my easy pace before my injury. It gives me hope.

When I got back to my house, the kids were already up with Brad. I showered and got ready to tackle the day. While Brad went out for his run, I made the kids eggs and toast which paused the whining for a couple minutes. After a brutally cold week, the day was shaping up to be much warmer outside.

After Brad returned and showered, I got a message from Barb. She was going out for a bike ride and asked me to join her. With the warmer temperatures, it could be our last opportunity for an outdoor ride until spring. Brad encouraged me to go. Miraculously, I was able to unearth my cold weather biking gear. It hasn’t moved in a year.

I met Barb shortly after getting dressed and we went out for a ride. I was a little uneasy at first but having Barb as my guide calmed my nerves. By the end of our time out on the roads, it felt normal to be on a bike again. Even better, when I got back home, I realized my pace on the bike was roughly what it would have been before my accident. Everything about this day felt normal.

Monday, November 26th After last week’s chaos, I feel like I’m recovering from the flu this week. My body is dragging. It is taking tremendous effort to keep up.

I returned to PT this morning. I started off with a 10 minute run on the treadmill to warm up. Then I moved onto another series of jumping - one foot, both feet, up, down, side to side. It was tough.

At the end of my session, Dr. C and I discussed my run progression. This would be my last appointment for a week. He told me I could run 15-20 minutes, take a two minute break and repeat. It should get me to the 4 mile point I’ve been working up to.

I spent the rest of the day cramming in a whole week’s worth of emails, meetings and croissant production while trying to do laundry and pack for my trip to Austin, TX for The Running Event, a trade show for retailers in the running industry.

Texas BBQ and Mexican Coke

Tuesday, November 27th And so it goes, I set my alarm for 5am and got up to run with the Fueled by Doughnuts group. I was still a little achy from PT yesterday but I knew I had to keep moving if I want to keep healing. For the first time, I didn’t have to ask if anyone wanted to walk/run with me. I was prepared to go out with the group and use the conversation to pull me through the miles. The cardio part of running is still very difficult for me, more than any pain from the muscle aches or bone aches.

I made it up the Claremont hill and kept going all the way to the water fountain in Anderson Park where I stopped for my 2 minute rest…2.2 miles into the run. Rather than cutting it short and heading back for a total of four miles, I decided to continue along with the group. Chatting with Barb, Ariel & Clio took my mind off my shortness of breath and helped me to complete all 5 miles of the group run. I couldn’t believe what I accomplished. For the last 15 weeks, I’ve wondered if I’ll ever be able to build mileage again and here I am, five miles later, no worse for the wear.

Shortly after the group run, Brad and I were en route to the airport and on our way to Austin. Our flight arrived mid-afternoon. We checked into our Airbnb and proceeded to walk miles and miles around Austin, eating BBQ, tacos and drinking some local brews. I was wrecked!

MEB!

Wednesday, November 28th We spent the morning walking around downtown Austin and the afternoon meeting with vendors at the conference. There was a lot to take in. Nutrition, shoes, clothes, hats… The highlight of the show was our meeting with Meb. We talked about our daughters and running and running with our daughters. He showed us pictures from his youngest’s most recent 5K. It never ceases to amaze me how this sport unites so many people.

We met my cousin Mike for dinner after the show. Mike and I grew up together in Maryland. Our birthdays are only one month apart. We both ended up in the restaurant industry so we’ve always connected in ways the rest of the family will never understand. He’s lived in Austin for the last five years. I think it’s been more than 10 years since our last visit together.

Colorado River Run

Thursday, November 29th A year ago today, Brad and I met for the first time. We had planned to meet earlier in the week. He was the photographer at the last Upright Citizen’s Brigade show. We were going to meet after which was a feat for me considering I hadn’t stayed up past 9pm in years. I fretted over what to wear, crowdsourcing ideas from Lizzy & Hillary. A few minutes before my train was scheduled to leave, he called to say his job was running later than expected and we would have to postpone our date.

I was relieved when he suggested we meet for a run a couple days later. Dating was new to me, running I could do. I didn’t need to worry about what to wear or what to say. After all, I’ve been leading a group of strangers on runs for the last two years, this would be easy. Jess was convinced Brad only wanted to meet me so he could get entry into the sold out 5K Doughnut Run. It was an elaborate scheme.

We arranged to meet in Brooklyn. I dropped the kids off at school and headed over the Verrazano for the first time since I ran over it at the start of the NYC marathon. Our five mile run along Shore Road, under the bridge, was mostly unremarkable. It was unseasonably warm and the sun was bright. I wore a tank top and shorts. We talked about our kids, our jobs and our families. The conversation continued long after the miles and it would have kept going only I had to rush back to finish making Malachi’s birthday cake. It was his 7th birthday and I was going to surprise him with a cake when he got home from school.

I never believed I would be able to recreate our five mile run this morning, to celebrate a year together. Even last week, it seemed out of reach. Brad stuck with me for, what had to be, painfully slow miles for him. We took a five mile tour of Austin, along the Colorado River. It wasn’t the Hudson but it would have to do.

A year ago, I didn’t think it was possible to have unconditional love and support from a partner. In my experience, it didn’t exist. I’m grateful life has proven me wrong. I’m thankful to have someone by my side who doesn’t only support me but also challenges me to be a better person, a better mom, and a better baker. If that’s not enough, I laugh a lot. In fact, when my kids were first introduced to Brad, after our pizza dinner together, on the ride home, Keegan told me he never heard me laugh before. It was true. I didn’t laugh much or maybe not at all. Thanks for all the miles and the smiles, Brad!

Friday, November 30th - In early November 2015, I moved the bakery production from Walnut Street to Label Street and Walnut Street became strictly retail. The facility was supposed to be open in August in time for our summer camp. When summer came and went, I started getting more nervous every day closer to Thanksgiving. We were beyond max capacity in the tiny Walnut Street bakery. The Label Street space was home to a new bread oven, doubling capacity, a new doughnut fryer, also doubling capacity and a sheeter which rolls out the dough to an even thickness. Until the move, we were still using rolling pins and hoping one baker’s half inch was the same thickness as another baker’s half inch.

Carolyn was the Production Manager. She had just returned from maternity leave after her second daughter was born. The rest of the team was a hodgepodge of skill levels. The Assistant Production Manager was a recent culinary school grad who I promoted from within shortly before Carolyn went on leave. She was very talented but being in her first management role, still had a lot to learn about the bakery business. The other two key bakers on the team came to Montclair Bread Co as yoga instructors. They both wanted to learn more about baking and thought it would be a fun place to give it a try. I had high hopes for these two newbies. One was excellent with customers and very organized. I started grooming her to help me with higher level management projects.

Earlier in 2015, there was a woman, Jessica, who had been stalking me at the bakery. She waited for me to arrive one morning and gave me an envelope with her resume. She explained that she was working at Magnolia Bakery in NYC and was over the commute. She loved my bakery and was eager to join a growing business. She was overqualified and I couldn’t afford her.

In August, I hosted the company BBQ in my back yard. I entrusted all the organizational and planning tasks to the staffer I was grooming for upper management. The day before the event, she went completely MIA. She didn’t answer phone calls or respond to emails. No one knew where she was. In fact, no one knew where she was for an entire week!!! I was able to piece together information from the catering company and the rental company. The BBQ went on without her. In addition to being a staff event, I also offered tickets to the party as a kickstarter reward. Little did I know, Jessica and her husband were in attendance. I didn’t even realize, when I was sitting next to her that Jessica was the same woman who had been stalking me with her resume, however, through the whole meal, all I could think about was calling that woman back. I needed a real professional to help me run the business and she was it. Two weeks later, Jessica accepted a position as Director of Operations for Montclair Bread Co. When my baker finally reappeared a week after the BBQ with a sad story, I fell for it and took her back on the team but in a reduced capacity with less responsibilities. Maybe I contributed to her delinquency? Maybe she couldn’t handle the pressure?

During our move to Label Street, I was distracted. In addition to opening a brand new production bakery, I was training to run my first marathon AND I was organizing the first official 5K Doughnut Run. I tried to keep all the balls in the air but, at times, they fell. On Walnut Street we made do with the space we had. It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t professional. When we made the move, my expectations for the team increased. Now that we weren’t just making do and we had everything we needed, it had to be done the right way. Arriving an hour late to work in pajamas was not acceptable. Whining about having someone to wash dirty dishes and clocking out two hours before the end of a scheduled shift, also not acceptable.

I stopped being friendly and fun and started attempting to manage the team and take everyone’s skills and professionalism to the next level. I had Carolyn helping me but every day was a battle. Just after Thanksgiving, Jessica got a phone call from one of the bakers. Three of them wanted to meet her at Starbucks. I told her they were quitting. She said I was over reacting. She returned an hour later to tell me, not only were they quitting but they tried to get her to walk out with them, to convince her that I was the most horrible boss on the planet and no one should have to work for me. They tried to get the entire team to leave with them but the rest of the staff didn’t believe their stories. The mean girls didn’t stop there. After they quit, one of them created numerous fictitious accounts to leave negative reviews on Yelp, Facebook and Google.

I called Carolyn. I didn’t know what we were going to do. Our team of five bakers just became two. Thankfully, one of our new hires, Tom, wasn’t swayed by the mean girls. He stuck around to help us make it work. There was no way we could get through the weekend production without more help. Worse yet, the 5K Doughnut Run was looming and we had to make 1500 doughnuts for the 700 runners registered for the race next week. I called my running buddies. The running club didn’t exist yet.

At 2am Saturday morning, Anne M, Anne A., Anne A’s mom Beth and Cara all came to help make doughnuts. Cara came straight from a night out. The others woke up early to help. I taught them how to roll out the dough, how to cut rings, how to fry them and fill them. Carolyn and Tom, worked with my friends and together we got everything ready to open on Saturday morning. The back up team continued to come in to help me for the next few days while I figured out what to do.

I made a few calls to former co-workers at different bakeries to see if they knew of anyone looking for work. As luck would have it, the company I worked for prior to opening the bakery had just conducted a huge round of lay-offs. Bakers I worked beside and trained for 5 years needed jobs. I scooped them up as fast as I could. Most of them are still baking with me today.

The mean-girl-walk-out became a defining moment in Montclair Bread Co history. Jessica, Carolyn and I banded together to keep the bread baking and doughnuts frying. We grew as managers. We quickly learned what we value most in this company is the community built around it. For me, the walk out gave me the strength to know there is no obstacle too great to stop progress.

Fueled by Doughnuts Group Run

Saturday, December 1st I went out for the Fueled by Doughnuts group run this morning. Now that fall marathon season is coming to an end, the miles are more consistent among the runners…the tapers are over, the recovery is over, back to normal. I decided to hold steady at five miles. Jessica and I ran together which is something we’ve never been able to do. I was at the peak of marathon training when she started building miles and when she peaked, I couldn’t run.

The five mile loop through the south end of Montclair was the easiest run I’ve had so far. My cardio fitness is starting to return. I didn’t have any muscle twinges or achy joints. Heidi, one of the orthopedic surgeons in the practice that performed my operation, the one who brought me breakfast when I was still in the hospital, ran with the group this morning too. She told me my form looked so great that she wanted to send my surgeon a video because he would never believe it. Once again, I told her I owe it all to the incredible care I’ve received at Iron PT. Dr. C and Dr. Mayes wouldn’t clear me to run until they were confident I could hold proper form across both sides of my body.

I think back to all the other injuries I’ve had, the ones that kept me off the pavement for much longer and what I didn’t have then was physical therapy or will to recover. I felt sorry for myself and I was depressed because I couldn’t run. I didn’t spend three days a week of focused strength training making sure my muscles were ready as soon as my bones were healed.

I have to hold myself back and focus on running just three days a week. The last thing I want is a setback in my progress. Once the 5K Doughnut Run is complete, I will resume a normal training schedule and see how my hip can handle a day or two at the track. I’ve pledged to keep any races under 10K until June to create realistic, attainable goals for my training in the months to come.