Week 52
Exactly one year ago today, I was woken by a nurse who came to prep me for surgery. I was alone, terrified and in a tremendous amount of pain.
Looking back, I truly can not believe the events that have transpired since I crashed.
Highs
my first steps down the hallway in the hospital with Laura filming my progress
going down the stairs of my apartment for the first time after being carried up them a week earlier AND making it across the street into the bakery
my first shower after two weeks during which there was a 38 mile sweaty bike ride and 8 days of hospital grime
getting into the pool and swimming a lap after my stitches were out, with the seniors from aqua aerobics cheering for me
giving up my second crutch with Dr. C holding my hand to help me take my first, mostly unassisted, steps
“running” across the turf in the Iron PT office
run/walking 2 miles with Josie & Mac during a regularly scheduled Fueled by Doughnuts group run
jumping on a 20” box at my final PT appointment
feeling all the love and support from my community who fed me and my family breakfast, lunch and dinner for 8 weeks straight, went grocery shopping for me, cleaned my house, did my laundry, took my kids to playdates, washed & braided my hair when I couldn’t shower and so, so, so much more
completing my book proposal and having it picked up by a literary agent after months of writing and revisions with my editor
reconnecting with my mother after 10 years of estrangement
standing at the starting line of the SeaWheeze half marathon just shy of the one year anniversary of my accident
Lows
feeling trapped in my body, unable to sit up or turn on my side without help
pain so intense I couldn’t sleep for more than two hours at a time
needing my 10 year old to put on my socks for me
loss of any independence
realizing some ‘friends’ aren’t really friends
breaking into a cold sweat every time I have to pass the place where I went down
Things I’ve lost
feeling in my left hip - after a year of moderate progress in regaining sensation I’ve realized what’s gone is gone and it’s not coming back
a handful of toxic relationships with people I’m much, much better off without
my hatred of track workouts
fear of swimming in open water
sense of comfort riding a bike on the streets - I don’t know if I’ll ever feel at ease
my need to consume alcohol to ease my anxiety, to recover from a long run, after a crazy day/night at the bakery, to have fun, when I’m sad, to kill time….
Things I’ve gained
gratitude for my tremendous support system Fueled by Doughnuts, Iron PT, my friends & family, my coach Alden, my editor Elisa, my staff, my surgeon, Brad, Jessica… I would be nothing without the people around me who, through selfless acts of kindness, helped (and continue to help) me be a better version of myself
an ambassadorship with lululemon which in a few short months has connected me with a truly inspiring community
an interview with Ali from the Ali on the Run Show!
notable achievements through Montclair Bread Co: TSA lunches during the government shutdown, a press worthy April Fool’s Day prank, lots of new recipes on the menu including the Carrot Cake Doughnut
strength and ability to get me to the finish line
30 second 5K PR
2 minutes 13.1 mile PR
nearly 30 minute sprint triathlon PR from June to July
4 minute Jersey Girl PR and 1st AG award
body art - over the last year I've added three new tattoos to go along with my 14” scar
fire building skills to help fuel my wood fired oven - something I’d only dreamed of having before this year. I’m really good at cooking every meal using a wood fire now too.
improved diet & nutrition, for a time it was the only thing I could control. This also led to the creation of the meal kit service now offered at the bakery
friendships - yes I had friends before this but this last year has brought new people into my life and strengthened bonds with some who have always been by my side
There was a time when the last thing I wanted to hear was “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “everything happens for a reason.” I never want to experience the pain and trauma brought on by this accident again in my lifetime. However, without this accident, without this complete reset, I don’t know that any of the incredibly positive events of this last year would have been possible. I am 100% better, stronger, more resilient and happier as a result.
Thank you for being a part of my journey. It’s only the beginning.
Week 51
Race Planning
There are soooo many things that go into organizing a 5K…where to put the barricades, how many ports potties to order, how much water to have at each water stop…. My favorite part of the planning is the actual race design which happens almost the second last year’s race is over.
I was feeling a little out of ideas for this year’s race. How could I come up with another original design that would keep everyone coming back to run for doughnuts. I asked my favorite tattoo designer, Anna Waycoff, if she would be interested in creating artwork for this year’s race. She was in! Then, over a post run coffee at the picnic table with Roselynn, Carolyn, Sarah and a few others, we hatched a plan to incorporate Rosie the Riveter and give the whole race a vintage feel complete with red bandanas for every runner. I communicated our ideas with Anna and she got to work.
As soon as Anna’s designs were complete, I started reaching out to our shirt vendors (yes, there are multiple), beanie vendor and medal vendor among others. I try to get as much as possible complete before registration opens so it’s been a busy planning week in the war room as we anxiously prepare for opening day.
Here are a few of the drafts I’ve been working with during this process.
First drafts and shirt color options
Revisions….
Fabric options - touch test
First draft medal options. Still working on the ribbons.
Beanies & Neck Gaiters - 1st drafts SOOO hard to choose.
Final beanies & gaiters after edits
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
TRX
Tuesday:
RUN: 6x800 @HMP
Wednesday:
BIKE: 75:00 Tempo
Thursday:
RUN: 3x6:00 @ 7:00 pace
Friday:
SWIM: 40:00 OWS
Saturday:
RUN: 60:00 with 2 miles @ HMP
Sunday:
RUN:55:00 Bonus!!! 4 days of running this week!
Week 50
Getting ready for an ocean swim on the Jersey Shore
Jersey Girl
If it weren’t for the 2017 Jersey Girl Triathlon, I wouldn’t have set out on the path to complete a 70.3 Ironman Race. I definitely would have never gotten on a bike. 2017 was the year I decided to overcome my fears. I took swim lessons. I went to the dentist to have that root canal I’d been putting off for way too long. I got on a bike for the first time in nearly 20 years.
During my sophomore year in college, I rode my Schwinn mountain bike everywhere. The University of Florida campus spanned a couple miles. I had 15 minutes to get from one end of campus to the other and it wasn’t possible if I stayed on two feet. One day, someone walked in front of me as I was riding downhill on a paved path. My handlebar caught her shirt sleeve and I went face first over the handlebars right onto the pavement. The impact knocked out my front two teeth and left a hole all the way through my lower lip. I swore I would never get back on a bike.
I was terrified when I signed up for the race but I knew it would force me to overcome my fear of cycling. I vowed to ride 11 miles on a beach cruiser. Barbara and Stacey told me I was being silly and talked me into upgrading to a hybrid bike. After one ride, when I could tell how much easier it was for everyone around me to gain momentum with their shoes clipped into their pedals, I traded up to a road bike. It only took me a couple pride falls while stopped at red lights to get the hang of clipping in and out.
I was shocked at the end of the race when I discovered I placed 3rd in my age group. It was the most fun I’ve ever had at a racing event and I couldn’t wait for my next triathlon which wasn’t for another two years given the circumstances.
This year’s Jersey Girl was the end cap to my triathlon season before I transition into fall marathon training. I wanted to see how much I’d improved over the last couple years, even given a bit of a setback. The day did not disappoint. The weather was perfect and the ocean was calm. I had no time expectations, I was just out to have another incredibly fun day.
Two years ago, I doggie paddled the entire ocean swim. Although I struggled a little more than I would have liked, I did manage to actually swim the entire course this year. The bike course was uneventful and when I got to the run I tried to hang on the best I could. I never looked at my watch but I was certain my pace was somewhere in the 8:30-9:00 range (it was actually in the 7-7:30 range). I didn’t see anyone with a ‘3’ on the back of their leg (in triathlons you get your age bold displayed in thick black sharpie on your calf) after the first mile. I had no idea where I was in relation to everyone else on the course but I thought I might have a shot at placing again this year…if I could just hold it together and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot….
I crossed the finish line and went straight to the transition area to find my flip flops. My feet needed serious triage after the residual sand added an extra fun component to the run. When I walked back to join everyone, Chris told me Yana and I had both placed 1st in our age groups. I came in 12th place overall out of 550 women competing, 4 minutes faster than my last time on the course. Naturally, I sobbed the biggest tears of joy I’ve felt in the last year. It was a lot to take in. To have Yana, Necole, Barb & Chris, the same crew who was by my side during the most difficult days following my accident, with me to celebrate a huge victory made the day even more monumental.
2017 & 2019
The real victory came on Sunday morning. Alden warned me “I know you raced yesterday but…” I had a long run comprised of a 30 minute warm up and then 60 minutes at marathon pace. I thought there was no way my legs would have any turnover left in them after the race but I wasn’t going to throw in the towel without giving it my best effort. The first 30 minutes felt absolutely terrible. I considered ending it there. I convinced myself to try running the workout for 10 minutes and if I still felt terrible, I would be at a good spot to turn back for home. Those 10 minutes weren’t so bad and neither were the next 50. Completing this particular workout, the day after my race, was the single biggest confidence boost I’ve had during my training and I am grateful in my coach for believing in my ability even when I don’t believe in myself.
One of the best post-race feasts ever! Straight from the farmers’ market to the wood fired oven
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
TRX
Tuesday:
RUN: 4x1mi sub 7:00
Wednesday:
SWIM: 40:00 OWS
BIKE: 55:00 Tempo
Thursday:
SWIM: 2,000
Friday:
SBR: 10:00 each - watch didn’t die this time, Suunto saves the day (and the workout)
Saturday:
RACE!
Sunday:
RUN: 30:00 easy, 60:00 MP
Week 49
This never gets old! Another year, another lake.
Kneading Conference
This was a very difficult week for me to relive.
A year ago, Brad and I traveled to Maine where I taught an artisan doughnut class at the Kneading Conference hosted by the Maine Grain Alliance. I was rounding the corner in my training for IronMan Lake Placid with the race less than two months away. I brought my bike to Maine. I didn’t miss a day of training during the trip. I felt strong and capable.
When I wasn’t training or teaching, I got to bake alongside of the greatest lady bakers in the country from sun up to sun down and then some. I loaded my first pizza into a wood fired oven while standing barefoot by the lake. My friend Stephanie documented it, posting pictures of our adventures along the way.
The two weeks after I returned from Maine were filled with Summer Baking Camp at Montclair Bread Co which left me longing to go back to the simple solitude. After my accident, I couldn’t get past all the pictures from Maine, the pictures of me in top physical shape, standing on two legs, confident and smiling alongside my favorite people. As the weeks after my accident seemed to drone on forever, I wondered if I would ever be that person again.
This year, Brad stayed at home in Montclair and I drove up the coast with Josie, Keegan, Mac and a carload of tools and ingredients for my classes. I taught Artisan Doughnuts and this year, I was also given the opportunity to teach a class about Grain Salads, a simple alternative to incorporate local heirloom grains into the bakery menu that doesn’t require milling them and baking them into loaves.
I didn’t realize how emotional this journey north would be for me. As I drove down the roads I biked on and the hills I ran down last year, I couldn’t shake the eerie feelings, the feelings of dread…what’s going to come next? I felt the same uneasiness as I did the first time (there’s only been two) I drove past the scene of my accident. Last year I left Maine on a high so high I didn’t think I’d ever come down and then boy did I ever come down.
I’m not sure why this week and this trip hit me so hard but I’m still recovering from the emotional havoc wreaked on my mind. The closer I get to my one year anniversary, the more I’m struggling to wrap my head around the sequence of events over the last 11 months.
Weekly Training Log
“Recovery” Week - if this is recovery, I can’t wait for “peak”
Monday:
OFF
Tuesday:
RUN: 6x800
SWIM: 2000 yds
Wednesday:
Have grains, will travel!
BIKE: 1:00 Tempo - got it in at 4:30am before we hit the road for Maine
Thursday:
Embracing the hills during my workout
RUN: 1, 2, 3, 4 minutes on, minutes off X2
Friday:
SWIM: Couldn’t quite manage to get this one in with all the events of the week
Saturday:
BIKE: 45:00 tempo
Sunday:
RUN: 30 minutes warm up, 20 minutes HM pace, 10 minutes easy, 25 minutes 10K pace, 20 minutes easy
Shockingly, this was not as hard as I thought it was going to be, especially on super tired legs. Brad met me during the 10 minute easy gap and helped me through the 25 minutes at 10K.
No WiFi, no problem!
Day 3 at the Kneading Conference, the boys reached their limits.
Found in our cabin. We must be in the right place.
Week 48
New Jersey State Triathlon
When I think back to last fall when I was trying to get back on my feet, the timeline is a little fuzzy. Sometimes I reread this blog to see where I was, at certain points of my recovery. When I sat down to write this weekly recap, I was trying to remember when I set NJ State as a goal race for this year. I searched back through emails I exchanged with my coach, Alden. It was 10 days after my accident only 9 days after my surgery…my first day at home. That’s when I emailed him to tell him I was registering to race the Rock Hall Sprint Triathlon. I guess even when I couldn’t walk, I knew there was no way I was going to sit around for twelve months waiting for my body to heal. In January, after I was able to complete a 3 mile run, Alden laid out the goals for the rest of the year. He included the NJ State Olympic distance triathlon so my multisport training would progress and build into fall marathon training. Even now, I still don’t know how my hip will endure an increase in mileage. I’m taking small steps forward, checking off each new milestone along the way. First double digit run, first two hour bike ride….
That whole period of time from August - December is very dark for me. Of course there were bright lights that shine out - the incredible daily support from my community, for example. I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about how I physically could not move from flat on my back, how I couldn’t sit up in bed without someone’s help. I have a trapped feeling, as if I’m still stuck in that position. Every single day I walk up or down the stairs to my apartment, I flash back to how difficult a task it was for me 10 months ago.
I remember writing about my overwhelming sense of gratitude during the first of my workouts back on the track and of my hope that the feeling would never go away. It didn’t.
Thursday afternoon, I got word that the NJ State Olympic was downgraded to a sprint because of the heat. I hastily decided not to go. For me to get to a race is a logistical feat which often requires upending the kids, the bakery and everyone around me. I feel selfish every time I stand at a starting line. So why bother if it’s just a sprint? If it’s in crazy heat? If I could have another week of intense training instead of a recovery week? I reached out to Alden and he told me to sleep on it before I decide. I didn’t have to. That was all I needed to hear to jolt me out of my defeatist attitude and remember the gratitude. It’s not that I don’t get to race the distance I trained for but rather I do get to race at all.
I’ve spent the last six weeks, since my race in Maryland, trying to prepare myself to swim a mile in a lake without a wetsuit. As it turns out, I only had to swim 750 yards. I took what I learned about myself and my shortcomings in these races and came up with a plan to conquer this one, with Alden’s help. During the last race, the swimming part didn’t bother me like it had in the Chesapeake Bay but I couldn’t keep my head down for more than a couple strokes without getting kicked; the pack was so dense I couldn’t get through. This time, I started as far away from the course buoys as I could while everyone else clustered around them. I added ~100 yds to my swim as I stayed far away from the pack BUT I was able to swim the entire time I was in the water…no backstroking, no breaking to find a new path through the people, just swimming. I passed the first buoy and then the next and before I knew it, I was already at the turn and then the next turn. My heart didn’t beat out of my chest. I could actually breathe as I ran up the beach to find my bike. After the race, I discovered that not only did I manage to stay calm but I kept a pace that I’m seldom able to, even in the pool. I cut 12 minutes off my swim time from the race six weeks ago. To put this in a different perspective, it’s like running a 60 minute 5K in the first race and dropping down to 30 minutes in the next….I’m still NOT a strong swimmer but I can get done what I need to in order to stay in the race.
The bike leg is my favorite part. Getting on the bike means that I was able to get out of the water. It’s also when that sense of gratitude is in full affect. I may even shed a few tears of joy and I was told by a volunteer on the course once that I didn’t have to smile so much, it’s a race.
I probably went a little too hard on the bike in this race because I didn’t have a lot left for the run and the heat was mounting. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other urging myself to keep moving forward. I walked through the water stations, trying to cool down and hydrate, just enough to make it to the end. With a half a mile left to go, I realized that the quickest way to the finish line is to run faster. I started out the morning hoping to finish this race in less than 2 hours. When I stopped my watch and saw 1:34, I truly could not believe it.
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
TRX
Tuesday:
SWIM: 1400
Wednesday:
SWIM: 30:00 OWS
BIKE: 1:00 Tempo
Thursday:
RUN: 2x.5@5K
Friday:
OFF
Saturday:
SBR: 10:00 each
Week 47
Yet another reminder of what an incredible community we are all a part of on this Sports Bra Squad Day!!!
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
TRX
Tuesday:
RUN: 4x1200 (5:00-5:10) - Complete - pushed the upper limit of the time but I made it.
SWIM: 2050 decent -I did not get to the pool today
Wednesday:
BIKE: 1:00 Tempo Intervals
I don’t get traditional weekends with my family but sometimes I get to sneak away…even if it’s just for a night, to enjoy a little R&R with the kids. Now that they’re a little older and I don’t have to chase after toddlers it actually can be a relaxing night away.
Thursday:
RUN: 3x10:00 Threshold - thanks to the treadmill at the hotel, I was able to get this in AND get a night away with the kids. I think all the trainer rides prepared me well for a treadmill tempo…just lock it in and go!
I spent some time chatting with John Williams and Rich Ryan, of the new podcast Reinforced Running , about my bakery and our running community and I gave them the low down of how it all started. It could be a good distraction during your next long run!
Friday:
BIKE: 48:00 Build
SWIM: 2000 Recovery
Saturday:
RUN: 1:30
45:00 easy
15:00 MP
15:00 HMP
10:00 10K
5:00 Recover
I was oddly excited about this workout in my long run. I really didn’t think I was capable of completing it but I was eager to find out how close I could get especially after what I would consider a ‘hell week’ of training. The last 10 minutes at 10K was grueling but I had a friendly face join me with 6:00 left. It was all I needed to get a little boost to finish the workout as planned. The marathon and half marathon paces were easier than I thought they would be. I can’t wait to see how all the training pays off this fall.
Sunday:
BIKE: 1:10 - Early ride with Barb out on the streets of Montclair. Slowly getting used to being out there with cars and people and CARS again.
Beach Day! We saw an opportunity and we went for it!!!
Week 46
We never run alone, even when we’re running alone.
Last spring, Brad ran nearly every mile by my side while I was training for the New Jersey Marathon. I loved having the support and the commeraderie. He’s also much faster than I am so he could keep talking while I wasn’t able to catch my breath on spadework days. Then race day arrived. I had a plan but it fell apart in the first mile when the pace group I intended to stick with went out too fast. I slowed to my goal pace, Brad stuck with the group because that was the plan. He ran back and forth between me and the group so many times that, when we both crossed the finish line, his Garmin showed his mileage total at 31ish.
When I didn’t have Brad next to me for the first 6ish miles, I questioned everything. I thought I was prepared for everything but I wasn’t prepared to run this race alone. I hadn’t run a single mile alone in close to two year. I fell apart. By mile 12, I was stopping for bathroom breaks and by mile 16, I was stopping to walk. It was the perfect day and the perfect course to have the perfect race but I let my emotions defeat me.
Shortly after the marathon, I raced a 5K with Brad. He told me he was going to run a 7:30 pace for the first mile and then go all out for the next two. I was hoping to run a 7:30 pace for the whole race. I planned to stick with him as long as I could. Then someone elbowed Brad at the starting line and his competitive side was unleashed. He sprinted off into the distance while I did my best to reach my goal on my own.
In the time since I was cleared to start training again, I log nearly all my miles solo. I’m thrilled when our training plans, work schedules and kid schedules align to allow Anne & I to run together but I mentally prepared to go it alone. The pool, the bike trainer, the tempo runs and the loops around the track…they’re all solo. I have to talk myself into each set, each repetition, each stroke, each step forward and I have to talk myself out of quitting. On race day, no one will be by my side to encourage me.
This week when I headed out to the track on Tuesday morning while the rest of my running buddies headed up the Claremont hill, I was excited to see several familiar faces. All of us had a different workout but we were all there together. That’s when I realized even running alone, I’m still running with the support of my community. It’s just like every step on my road to recovery. I have to be the one to move my foot forward but the energy and positivity of everyone around me helps propel me to the next stage. Every time someone waves and smiles on North Mountain or Grove Street, every time I leap frog with friends around the track, every time I exchange hellos at the end of the pool lanes at the Y, I can rest assured, that none of us will ever be in this race alone.
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
OFF
Tuesday:
RUN: 3x1K @ 4:20, 3x 400
SWIM: 1600 Race Simulation
Wednesday:
SWIM: 30:00 OWS
BIKE: 1:00 Tempo
Thursday:
RUN: 3x8:00 Threshold
Friday:
SWIM: 2100
Saturday:
RUN: 1:30 - 10.25 miles
Sunday:
BIKE: 1:48 - 25ish miles - My first ride with Yana since I went down. We both survived! A little PTSD for both of us but we did get to reminisce about all the GOOD rides we had last summer to help divert attention from the bad one.
I still struggle to drive through the intersection where I went down. I’ve been there exactly twice. The last time was recently with the kids in the car. I was so nervous I sweat through my shirt. I don’t know when I’ll be able to ride there again but I’m confident I will get back there on two wheels one day soon, hopefully with a small army of friends to buffer the ill effects.
Week 45
This Week in Pictures
A very big week for Josie - Monday was her ‘Moving Up’ ceremony marking the end of 5th grade and the beginning of middle school!!!
Not only did she finish elementary school this week, Josie celebrated her 11th birthday. Anne & I managed to create a cake that roughly resembled a pot of succulents for her and her friends.
Had to call in the backups (Anne) to help get everything ready for Josie’s birthday party because Jess, Brad & I were dealing with a bit of a log jam. Does stacking wood count as cross training???
Saturday Long Run on Friday with Anne. Early AM baking shift on Saturday calls for a little schedule adjustment.
After another crazy Friday pizza night, the oven was still 500F at 4AM. I decided to take my chances and use it to bake my ciabatta. I’m so glad I did. This is probably the best bread I’ve ever baked. Simply unbelievable.
And finally, the week comes to an end. I had some peaches leftover from the weekend. I roasted them with brown sugar using the wood fire. Then I puréed them, added a little bourbon and poured them into popsicle sleeves. Yum!
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
OFF
Tuesday:
SWIM: 1375 Race simulation
Wednesday:
RUN: 10x2:00 on 1:00 off
Thursday:
BIKE: 1:06 Tempo
Friday:
RUN: 1:15:00 - 8.37 miles
PIZZA: 90 pies, 90 minutes!
Saturday:
SWIM: Randolph Lake - 2 laps, 1800yds
Sunday:
BIKE: 90:00 Race pace
Week 44
Let this be a lesson.
If you think this is hot…
My training has continued as planned, focus on short distances, improve my 5K before moving back onto marathon training, build strength and speed.
A couple years ago, I was training for the Chicago Marathon. Part of my plan was to race a half marathon 8ish weeks before the 26.2. The weekend of the half was also the weekend of the Baker’s Revenge Trail race. I was on my feet for roughly 48 hours straight, give or take a few hours, leading up to the race. The car ride to the Rock and Roll Philly Half was the biggest break I’d gotten all weekend. My performance in the race was less than stellar, not terrible but definitely not what I had trained for.
Flash forward to this weekend. I signed up to run the Fitzgerald’s 5K Lager Run because it’s one of my favorite races of the year and I need to replace last year’s pint glass that the bakery intern shattered. Friday morning, I started working on pizza prep as soon as the kids were on the bus to school. I stood outside in front of the oven, in the heat until 7pm when the last pizza was sold and then I got to go inside to bake for a couple more hours before calling it quits. Saturday morning, I started back at it around 4am, helping with doughnuts before I got a quick shakeout run in and then I packed the kids up to go to the lake so I could make up my swim I missed earlier in the week (crappy weather). I got back to the bakery around noon, just in time to start preparations for another night of pizzas.
Sunday morning I was on the 2am shift which was roughly 5 hours after I got out of the bakery Saturday night. I finished up the doughnuts and the bread baking and went home for a nap around 8am. I was hosting a private pizza party at 7pm. Most of the rest of the day was spent preparing toppings, salads and desserts for the event.
I snuck out of the bakery around 5:30pm with just enough time to jog to the starting line of the race. It was HOT. I wasn’t prepared for the sweat fest. I decided to go out fast and see how long I could hang on. After the first mile, I gave up. It wasn’t the normal, I can’t breathe kind of give up, it was a new, I can’t pick up my legs kind of give up. They were sooo heavy and the air was sooo thick. I just couldn’t push any harder. In the end, I got my pint glass and it was the fastest time I’ve run this course but it wasn’t the performance I trained for. Immediately after finishing, I jogged back to the bakery just in time to start making pizzas for the party. By 9pm, I was ready to melt into my pillow for the next 6-8 hours.
This was a big lesson to me, one I didn’t learn after the Philly Half. If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t have run the race. The bakery is what it is. If this were a goal race, I could have gotten better coverage for myself, made for less work and less time on my feet but it wasn’t that serious. It was more important, in this case, for me to be committed to my number 1. I had fun at the race but I tried a little too hard to cram a little too much into one weekend and I wish I was a little better at prioritizing as these opportunities come along.
Lesson learned.
….try this!
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
OFF
Tuesday:
RUN 6x400 @ 1:45, 2x800 @ 3:30
Wednesday:
BIKE 1:06 Tempo Ride
Thursday:
RUN: 45:00 recovery
Friday:
SWIM: 1700 Recovery
PIZZA: 144 pies sold out in 90 minutes!
Saturday:
RUN: 25:00 shakeout plus strides
SWIM: Randolph Lake - 2 laps, 1800yds
Sunday:
BIKE: 30:00 loosen up
RUN: Fitzgerald’s 5K 23:18 Course PR
Friday Night Pizza & Music @ Montclair Bread Co.
Week 43
Redemption
“Brad, have you seen my bike shoes? They were under the sofa in the clubhouse and I can’t find them.”
“Yeah, I think they’re in a milk crate in the back. I moved everything when we set up packet pick up for the race last week.”
“I unpacked every milk crate. I couldn’t find them anywhere. I looked in the basement. I thought they might still be in the car from my race but they’re not. Then I thought they could be in my duffle bag but they’re not there either. I ran out of time to get my ride in. I had to use an old pair of shoes and cut it shorter than I planned. I’m worried I won’t have anything to race in this weekend if I can’t find them.”
“OHHHH…I remember where I put them. They’re in the freezer.”
“The freezer?”
“The freezer. They smelled bad so I put them in the freezer.”
For some reason, I didn’t think to check the freezer for my bike shoes but now I know not to ever rule it out.
Weekly Training Log
Monday:
BIKE: 60:00
Tuesday:
RUN: 5x1K
Wednesday:
SWIM 1550 yds in the lake! Longest swim in open water, ever! And I completed in in the same time it took me to “swim” 750yds in the Chesapeake Bay
Thursday:
RUN: Fartleks - 3, 5, 7
Friday:
PIZZA: 110 pies sold out in 90 minutes!
Saturday:
WYCKOFF TRIATHLON
A week ago, upon the urging of a few people who make this an annual event, I signed up to complete the Wyckoff Triathlon. I didn’t intend to race so much as I wanted more practice in the water. I decided drinking from a firehose was my best bet.
The race started at 6:45am. I arrived at 5am and found many runners from our club in the transition area. It was relaxed and friendly, the air was cool…perfect morning for a race. I managed to swim to the first buoy and back before the race started. I felt calm.
My swim was not pretty. I didn’t panic this time but there were so many people in the water, I kept getting kicked or I would run into someone. I stopped a lot to find another way through. I let people swim around me so I could have more space. I kept my face in the water. I never once thought about turning on my back. When I made it back to the beach, I could see people from my wave still in the water. The waves behind me were still far from finishing. I was actually in the race.
The bike ride was beautiful. I tried to keep an even pace and enjoy being on the roads. I rode 17 miles back to the transition area where I swapped my shoes out and started the 5 mile run. I kept telling myself, it’s just a Saturday long run…just 45 minutes on the road with lots of company. Right foot, left foot. I didn’t glance at my watch once. It felt like I was keeping a 9:30-10:00 pace. My legs were heavy and there were no shortage of hills to climb. My calfs were cramping. My butt hurt. I was so happy and grateful to be running.
Just before the race, my friend Yale told me once I passed mile 4, the hills were over. I saw the mile marker and decided to see what I had left to give. I turned a corner and saw people with medals. One of them told me it was a quarter mile to the finish. I picked up the pace a little more.
After I finished, packed up my things and headed back to the car, I looked at my watch. Somehow, I managed to run the last mile at a 7:15 pace and the other miles weren’t as slow as I thought. When the results were posted later on Saturday evening, I discovered that I was 4th in my age group…the 27th woman to cross the finish line, 189 out of 438 men and women to complete the race. I’ve made progress in the last two weeks!
Week 42
Race Week #3!!!
One last race week in this year of recovery. At least this one was a little warmer than the last two. I didn’t have to worry about the water delivery freezing before the big event or about heating 100 gallons of hot chocolate before the first runners crossed the finish line. The unfortunate timing of this race put it two days after National Doughnut Day which always falls on the first Friday in June. Due to a few scheduling issues in May, it also happened to be two days after the first Friday with live music and pizzas made to order on the bakery’s patio. By the time the race started, I had been put through the ringer so many times that this event became the easiest part of the whole week.
On Friday morning, I started frying doughnuts at 3am and didn’t finish until sometime around 8am. I’m pretty sure it was one of the highest volume doughnut days I’ve had at the bakery, if not the highest. Doughnut Day started to recognize the “Donut Lassies” a group of women from the Salvation Army who gave out doughnuts to the troops in World War II. Now, customers start calling weeks ahead of the big day, asking what we’re giving away for free.
After I finished with doughnuts, I headed to a lake in North Jersey where I met with Chris who would be coaching me to help overcome my fears of swimming in open water. With him by my side, I actually swam (not backstroked) 850 yards in the lake without having a panic attack. It was a bit of a breakthrough moment for me. I learned how to stay calm.
As soon as I returned to the bakery, I started working on pizza prep for music night. Last Friday I made 54 dough balls and sold out of pizza in 90 minutes but there wasn’t music. This week I prepared for 90, thinking that was an insane amount of pizza. The most I ever made last year for music night was 28 pies. At 7:03pm, I sold the last of the pizzas. I was on hour 16 at the bakery and I still had to bake sourdough bread for the farmer’s market before I could call it a night.
With Hillary as my co-director and Jessica organizing all the behind the scenes logisitcs at the bakery, all I had to do on Saturday, while they were handling packet pick up, was make and box the doughnuts. After last year’s Branch Brook Park 5K, I thought it would be fun to have boxes filled with doughnut holes. The ‘holes’ are actually squares of dough that more likely resemble beignets. This concept allowed me to make multiple different doughnuts and topping…chocolate & vanilla dough with powdered sugar, sprinkles and cinnamon sugar. I made one final request for volunteers to help with the doughnut production and I got the best helping hands ever. We finished shaping, frying, topping and boxing all 850 containers in record time. I was able to lock up and go home before the sun went down.
Race day arrived. Josie got up early and sat in the passenger seat of my car at 5am, afraid I was going to leave for the park without her. Brad brought the rest of the kids closer to the starting time so they wouldn’t have to wait around for too long. This would be their 10th finish line on medal detail. They’re pros.
When Hillary and I arrived at the park, there were no barricades set up to block traffic. The garbage cans were overflowing and the porta potties had not arrived. It was the opposite of what we arrived to find last year. We started preparations and hoped for the best. We sent our friends out to use their cars to block traffic in downtown Newark - not an easy feat! By the time people starting arriving en masse, the police and the parks had everything in order. It all came together.
By 11am, it was over, the cars were packed and we were on our way home. Sunday proved to be the easiest (and most rewarding) day of the week. I spent the remainder of it in a puddle on the living room floor, incapable of moving more than a few inches.
Weekly Training Log
Monday: OFF
Tuesday:
SWIM: 1675 yds
Wednesday:
BIKE 45:00 Recovery Ride
SWIM: 970 yds in the lake!!! I swam further than I did in my race in roughly 6 minutes less than it took me last week. I am determined to conquer my fears.
Thursday:
SWIM 1650 yds
Friday:
SWIM 850yds in the lake!!! Twice in one week!!
Saturday:
RUN 45:00 recovery run
Week 41
Rock Hall Sprint Triathlon
The week after I was able to participate in the December 5K Doughnut Run, I floated the idea of training for a sprint triathlon but not just any one, the one that takes place in my hometown. It be a major recovery milestone and it would be in the water I grew up splashing in and on the streets I knew better than any others.
Since January, I have been preparing to swim 750 yards, bike 15 miles and run a 5K.
Swim Course - you can kind of see the buoys in the distance
The Rock Hall Triathlon Festival includes an Olympic distance race on Saturday and the Sprint on Sunday. When I got into town, I stopped for gas alongside a car full of triathletes who just completed the Olympic race. They told me wetsuits were not permitted. I pretended not to care, filled my tank with gas and spent the rest of the car ride freaking out. The wetsuit was my security blanket. It would help me float if everything else failed.
Alden, Brad, Yana, Barb & Lizzy all tried their best to help me keep my cool, reminding me that I’ve swim 100% more without a wetsuit than with one.
After I unpacked, I ran through all three activities to make sure I didn’t forget any critical pieces of equipment. I swam in the bay for 10 minutes. I had the familiar anxiety of swimming in open water take grip of my heart strings and cause it to beat out of control. I was able to calm down enough to actually swim and I felt a little better about what race day would bring.
More than 10 years ago, my mother became estranged from me or me from her, however that goes. The last time we spoke Josie wasn’t quite one year old. She never met Keegan or Malachi, never knew Montclair Bread Company existed and she didn’t know her daughter, who always got picked last in gym class, is now an athlete.
While I was still in the hospital, my mother reached out for the first time since June 2009. I have proceeded, with trepidation, to build a relationship with her. In December, she met the boys for the first time and was reintroduced to Josie. The kids are happy to have a(nother) grandmother.
The last she knew, I was living in Pennsylvania, pregnant with Keegan and struggling to make ends meet. My husband was unemployed and my salary from the small retail bakery where I worked was not enough to cover all the bills. I was receiving supplemental income from the government for food, healthcare and to offset household expenses. Now that I know the end of the story, I can say I was about 3 months away from rock bottom.
I guess being in the hospital recovering from a nearly fatal accident, unable to walk, could be considered rock bottom too but it didn’t feel quite as tragic. As least there was a light at the end of this tunnel.
My mother has quickly been brought up to speed on the advancements I’ve made in life. She had the opportunity to visit the bakery for the first time and see what I’ve built and I filled her in on the importance of running and my running community.
On the complete opposite end of the universe, my step-mom, Barb (aka Nana, aka Mom) has played a huge role in my life and that of the kids. She and my Aunt Cathy have raced more than one 5K Doughnut Run and we all ran the Bay Bridge 10K together, when halfway through the race I strained a tendon that would take 12 weeks to heal but I still managed to come in minutes ahead of my little brothers. In an effort to beat me, my brother Kyle pushed himself so hard that he was hanging over the bridge puking just like my baby brother Travis told him he would be if he tried to catch me.
After I racked my bike in the transition area and set up my gear, I was met by not one but two moms on the sidelines. Along with Brad, they both came out to my race. It was the first time anyone in my family would see me run. Having all three of them there made this day truly special for so many reasons. It felt like everything was finally right in the world.
Back to the freaking out part…wetsuits were ‘optional’ but optional really means ‘not allowed.’ If you opt to wear a wetsuit, you’re taken out of competition and you have to get in the water after everyone else. At the time, I thought I had a chance to place in my age group. I came here to race. This is a race.
The swim was an in-water start. I had to jump off a dock, swim out to the start and tread water until the gun went off. The course looked SOOOO long even though it was only the equivalent of 15 laps in the pool, it could have been the length of the English Channel from where I was bobbing.
I swam to the first buoy and then a feeling of sheer terror swept over me. I could not put my face back in the water no matter how hard I tried. My heart felt like it was going to explode. There were still 7 more buoys to clear. All I had to do was get out of the water and get on the bike….out of the water and on the bike…get me out of this water so I can get on my bike…I said it to myself over and over and over for the next 28 minutes that I backstroked my way to the dock. It was not pretty. I was number 229 out of 237 swimmers to get out of the water.
My bike was one of the last ones in the transition area. I was in and out in one minute. I got on my bike, put my head down and passed as many people as I could on the course. They might be able to get out of the water faster than me but I’m back in control now. I had no idea how fast (or slow) I was going because my watch was still on my wrist (I normally strap it to my handlebar) and I wasn’t going to look. I sped up my cadence to get my legs turning over faster heading back in to the transition area. As I dismounted I was sobbing and smiling at the same time. By all medical accounts, I should NOT be able to do this but I can and I did and I am filled with joy and gratitude. Imagine what it would feel like to have someone take away one of the things you hold most dear and then give it back to you 9 months later in perfect condition, when you never thought you’d see it again. I got to ride my bike on the road in a race. I was 166 out of 237 cyclists.
Another minute to get in and out of transition. It was 10:30am, 80F and the entirety of the run was in direct sunlight. I focused on putting one foot in front of the other and moving my legs forward. One after another, I passed people. I remember seeing her go by me on her fancy triathlon bike. Isn’t that the chick who was in and out of the water in minutes? How much time could I make up? How many more people could I pass? My legs were so heavy and the heat was oppressive. I struggled to stay under an 8:00 pace. I was almost at the finish line. I could see my moms and Brad waiting for me to come in. I did it. After two years of training, I finally finished my triathlon. I was 73 out of 237 runners.
My lack of ability to keep my cool in the bay kept me well out of the running for a place in this race but the bike and the run showed me that I am capable of more. Is valium considered a performance enhancing drug???
Weekly Training Log
Monday: OFF
Tuesday:
SWIM: 2200 yds
Wednesday:
BIKE 30:00, RUN 2mi @ Race Pace
I surprised myself on the run when I was able to keep both miles in the low 7’s.
Thursday:
SWIM 2100 yds
Friday:
RUN 20:00 plus strides
Saturday:
SWIM 10, BIKE 10, RUN 10 - gear check.
Week 40
all photos compliments of Brad Barket
There is nothing that prepares you for a busy night working the line at a restaurant other than a busy night working the line at a restaurant. I’m terrified I won’t be able to keep up with pizza orders once I officially launch pizza nights on the patio. I’m still getting the hang of working the fire and keeping the oven hot. One of my baker friends told me it took him two years before he figured it all out. I will have two weeks.
I decided to put myself under pressure - feet in the fire - but instead of a line of customers, I invited some of my friends & family to join me for a night of pizza, celebrating my new oven.
After last week’s tests, I felt confident the dough would set me up with a solid foundation. I created the first pizza menu based mostly on seasonal ingredients I could get from local vendors.
The Standard - crushed Jersey tomatoes, mozzarella, fresh basil
Greek To Me - pesto, kalamata olives, feta, red onion, bell peppers
Nettlesome - stinging nettles, Fulper’s Farm ricotta, caramelized onions, prosciutto (I’ve been making this one since my first pizza days with Mark & Christian at The Patisserie in Milford, PA)
Sauce-Sage - crushed Jersey tomatoes, sweet Italian sausage, shishito & chili peppers, fresh mozzarella
BB Kale - crushed Jersey tomatoes, blue cheese, bacon, kale
Josie was home sick from school all week. After a second trip to the doctor, it was determined she had bronchitis. A couple days of antibiotics later, she was almost back to normal. When I told her she couldn’t help me with the dough, she was devastated.
“You’re sick, you need to take a break,” I said
“How many times have you worked with bronchitis? How many? What about the flu? You don’t take a break. The bakery doesn’t take a break. You just keep working. You can’t tell me I can’t work,” she responded.
Fair enough. She got the clipboard and took every order throughout the entire evening…more than 60 pizzas. She knew everyone’s name or at the very least, the name of someone who they came with. Talk about feet to the fire, I put so much pressure on this soon-to-be 11 year old. Any other kid would have melted down, thrown the clipboard at me, and gone to play fortnight. Not this kid. She called out the orders. When I forgot them, she gave me an ‘all day’ count and kept me on track. When one of the guests had to leave early, she gave me an ‘I need it NOW! How long on that….’ If this girl doesn’t take over the world one day, no one will.
Weekly Training Log
Monday: TRX @ Architect Studios
Tuesday:
Plan: RUN - 8x400 between 1:35-1:40
Reality: 1:35, 1:38, 1:38, 1:38, 1:38, 1:39, 1:38, 1:37
I must confess, I thought this was impossible but as Alden said, ‘impossible is a state of mind, not a physical reality.’ After I finished the workout as planned, I scoured data from the last three years and these are, in fact, the fastest 400’s I’ve run in a workout.
Wednesday:
Plan: SWIM 35:00
Reality: This was the first time I’ve been given a time rather than a distance to swim. It was also my longest swim without a break. I managed to get in 1550 yds in the time allotted. I was surprised by how easy it felt. Granted, I was not, I am not, fast but I am comfortable with my head under water.
I’ve started obsessing about the water temperature of the Chesapeake Bay, where I will be swimming next week. I asked my mother to stick her toe in it and tell me what it’s like.
“Rachel, you can’t swim in that!” was her response.
“But I am swimming in it.”
“Okay but just don’t get THAT water in your mouth,” she advised.
When I was growing up, I quickly learned that I had to take my swimsuit off as quickly as possible after swimming in the Bay. If I left it on for too long, a rash appeared that all the kids referred to as ‘Bay Rot.’ I guess it’s still better than swimming in the Hudson. Better the evil you know.
Thursday:
Plan: BIKE 60:00 tempo
Reality: Completed as planned
Friday:
Plan: SWIM 1850 yds
Reality: Same as last week but remembered my watch this time!
Saturday:
Plan: RUN 60:00
Reality: Absolutely the most perfect day for a run. Zero humidity, cool breeze…the reason why we do this!
Sunday:
Plan: RIDE 75:00 outside, RUN 2mi with 1@RP
Reality: I started baking at 2am, left for my ride at 6am. I promised Brad & Josie I would text them both before heading out on the streets. I also promised to stay in Montclair and leave early enough that there was minimal traffic. Before I clipped my shoes in my pedals, I had no less than 10 messages from Josie telling me to be careful and ‘please don’t die.’ As if I wasn’t nervous enough.
I looped around Montclair until I reached 75 minutes. I managed to hit 5K race pace-ish for my first mile of the run even though my legs felt like someone didn’t screw them on right. Took it easy for the second mile, came home, regrouped and started making pizzas at noon! Never a dull moment.
Week 39
Testing, testing…
Now that I have a beautiful oven, it’s time to make beautiful pizza. I love my dough. Of all my recipes, it’s the one I’ve been making the longest, ever since I became obsessed with flour, water, yeast & salt. It’s versatile and incredibly forgiving. Nevertheless, I wanted to be thorough and make sure I still loved my dough most of all. I dug through countless recipes I’ve acquired over the years. I mixed four different doughs - mine, Jim Lahey’s (Sullivan St & Co.), Jeffery Hammelman’s (King Arthur Flour), and mine with sourdough in place of yeast. They all fermented overnight. The next day, I mixed a batch of my dough to test same day against the overnight fermentation.
It was like a scene from Goldilocks and the Three Bears…Lahey’s was too sweet and too puffy. My sourdough was too thin and too crispy. Hammelman’s was solid. My same day dough was solid. The real stand out was my dough with a 36 hour fermentation cycle. After nearly 20 years, it’s still my favorite. Obviously, as with anything in life, we all have different preferences. There isn’t one perfect pizza for everyone, this one is just perfect for me. It has almost as much to do with the how the dough handles as it does with the flavor. It’s the whole package.
I called my friend, former instructor and forever baking mentor, Nick Greco (Head Baker for Wegman’s) to tell him about my results. He rattled off a few percentages of how he makes his pizza dough. It is exactly the same as mine. I used to marvel at how he was able to recite percentages, fermentation times, mixing times…off the top of his head. Nothing makes me prouder of my accomplishments to be able do the same especially when it is decimal to decimal, minute to minute, the same as his.
Weekly Training Log
Monday: TRX @ Architect Studios
Tuesday:
Plan: RUN - 3x1K @ 4:40, 2x300
Reality: 3x1K: 4:18, 4:22, 4:23
After I did the math to figure out how fast this workout would be if I hit the paces, I had just a bit of anxiety. It was the first time I used the 1K loop at Brookdale Park. Shocked I was able to hit the paces, especially after working the 2am doughnut shift before heading to the track.
Wednesday:
Plan: SWIM 2,100 yds
Reality: 4x400, nice and easy, felt great
Thursday:
Plan: BIKE 60:00 tempo
Reality: I may have added another 20 minutes
Friday:
Plan: SWIM 2100 yds
Reality: Forgot my watch but I swear it happened!
Saturday:
Plan: BIKE 60:00, RUN 3 miles
Reality: Done! Tested out my race day ‘outfit,’ all systems go.
Sunday:
Plan: 75:00 Run
Reality: 2am baking shift followed by 80 minutes of running with Anne - ooof! Tough but complete.
Week 38
PIZZA, PIZZA
Through Brad’s Eyes
Eight years ago, I attended the Kneading Conference in Skowhegan, Maine for the first time. Montclair Bread Co wasn’t even a twinkle in my eye yet. It was at this event I first became acquainted with Maine Wood Heat ovens. Bread Alone and Wegmans both had wood fired ovens I was lucky enough to bake in but the heat source was under the stone decks. The heat from the fire in the box traveled up and around the bread while it was baking. Maine Wood Heat ovens are made of clay harvested in France and fashioned into bricks by La Panyol. MHW imports the bricks and uses them to construct a domed oven and deck. They also custom build trailers to allow the ovens to be transported and a local artist hand crafts a metal exterior for the dome. The ovens are so well insulated that the exterior remains cool to touch at all times while the inside heats to 1100F! A fire is built directly on the clay deck and once it rises to the proper temperature, it is moved to the back to expose the bricks for baking.
July 2018 - barefoot & baking
Through the years, I’ve gone back to the Kneading Conference as an instructor and continued to swoon over the beautiful ovens. Since I teach doughnut classes that require a vat of oil, I never got to bake in the ovens until this past summer when a group of us baker ladies got to fire one up in the backyard of the cabin we were staying in for the week. Sharon Burns-Leader, one of my long time mentors, gave me a very broad overview of how one uses the oven to make pizzas and I got to practice until I couldn’t possibly eat another bite (or maybe I just consumed too many carbs via the Maine Beer Co. inoculation).
For the second time in as many years, I contacted MWH when I returned from the conference to ask for their professional services. I almost pulled the trigger a year ago but I spent my budget on the patio build-out instead. After barely surviving last summer’s pizza nights and farmer’s market bake-off using my very tiny, super maxed out, MIWE deck oven inside my bakery, I knew I had to make some changes to get through this summer.
This week, my oven arrived. I didn’t really have time to be excited about opening my bakery seven years ago…it was too much of a whirlwind. So, I can honestly say, the oven delivery was the single most exciting day of my professional career. I’ve been so inspired watching my peers build fires and bake the most amazing loaves of bread out of these ovens. I never thought I would be able to join their ranks.
The first fire, built by Keegan
Truth be told, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I’m armed with my friend Richard’s book ‘From the Wood-Fired Oven,’ and lots and lots of google searches. Before this week, I’d never even built a successful camp fire. A few days of faking knowledge later, I baked my first pizza in my new oven. It was magical and a day I will never forget. Keegan built the fire. The whole family shared the experience.
Still a lot to learn but the first pizza did not disappoint!
Weekly Training Log
Monday
Plan: REST
Reality: Challenge Accepted
Tuesday:
Plan: Swim 3x500
Reality: Done
Wednesday:
Plan: BIKE 60:00
Reality: Brookdale Park
Thursday:
Plan: RUN 45:00
Reality: I may have added another 20 minutes
Friday:
Plan: SWIM 1700, 20x25 on 30
Reality: Wow. In order to get a 5 second break after each 25, I had to swim as hard as I could. A stronger swimmer could have easily gotten more time to rest between repeats but a strong swimmer I am not. After 6 sprints across the pool, I thought my heart was going to explode. It was so hard. To put it in running terms, imagine sprinting 20, 100s with only a 5 second rest between them. Yikes!
Last year when my coach gave me swim workouts, there was always a rest noted, usually 15-20 seconds. I added a solid minute on top of the number he gave me..so I could not drown going into my next lap. Amazingly enough, over the last couple months, I’ve been able to adhere to the rests as prescribed.
Saturday:
Plan: RUN 65:00
Reality: Done!
Week 37
Weekly Training Log
Monday
Plan: HIIT
Reality: Done! After much deliberation, I decided to close the bakery on Mondays. Over the last few months, Jessica and I have been working 7 days a week covering shifts for retail and production. We’ve come to realize, the only way either of us can be gaurunteed an actual day off is to close the bakery. It will also give us an opportunity to regroup and reset the space for another week. Being away last week, I didn’t get to fully appreciate the Monday off but today, I did!
Tuesday:
Plan: RUN (3x200, 800) x2
Reality: I started baking at 2am. By 5:30, I was able to take a break to join the Sunrise group at the clubhouse. I ran to the Hurrell track in Glen Ridge to complete my workout. The track isn’t 400 meters and I can never remember if it’s too short or too long so my workout was a little wiggly. I completed it as planned, all the same.
Wednesday:
Plan: SWIM 2100 recovery
Reality: Yesterday, Brad was hit with a stomach bug. I felt a little queasy but I assumed it was just because that’s my normal reaction when someone is puking in my presence. This morning, I had to be at the bakery at 2am. We had an order for 500 doughnuts that had to be made and delivered to Newark by 9am, on top of normal production. When my alarm went off, I knew this was going to be a difficult day. I could barely move. My body ached, it hurt to breathe. Nevertheless, I got up, dressed and headed to the bakery. While I was cutting trays of doughnuts, I could barely manage to stay upright. I thought I was going to faint. After the last tray was cut and placed on the rack, I returned home to take a nap while they were rising.
An hour later, I went back to finish the doughnuts for the order. By 6am, they were complete. By 6:05am, I was back in bed where I stayed for the rest of the day. I don’t recall eating or drinking anything. The kids came home from school. I moved to the sofa to help them with their homework. We had Panera delivered for dinner and I struggled to eat a few bites of chicken noodle soup.
Thursday:
Plan: BIKE 60 Minutes
Reality: I got up early to unlock MBCo on Lorraine Street for the 5:30am group run. I still felt awful. As soon as the picture was taken and the runners headed up the hill to Highland Ave, I went back home and got another hour of sleep before the kids had to get up for school.
When they walked to the bus stop, I decided to try spending some time upright. Today marks the 7th anniversary of the day I opened Montclair Bread Company. I always try to do something fun to celebrate. This year, I decided to host a party and make classic desserts from my childhood for people to nosh on when they stopped by. I had no idea how I was going to pull it off with this plague. I sat in front of the computer trying to craft a cancellation notice but I just couldn’t come up with the right words.
Luckily, these desserts were all super simple, dump the ingredients in a bowl kind of recipes. I dragged myself to the bakery where Jessica helped me put together classics like Strawberry Jello Salad & Watergate Salad…neither of which contain any semblance of vegetables.
I started feeling better as the day progressed. I still had absolutely no appetite. I might have had a cup of broth or two but that was the extent of my nourishment for the day.
The kids and I hosted a gathering of friends at the bakery in the evening. We all celebrated the start of another year together.
Friday:
Plan: 25 Minute Shake Out
Reality: When I woke up, I felt off again but I pushed through it. I got the kids up and out for school and went to the bakery to start preparing for the weekend. At noon, I took a break to get my run in with the Friday group at the Running Co. This week, the group was me, Brad & Anne. All 3 of us were registered for the NYRR Fiesta 5K on Saturday so it was everyone’s shakeout.
After the run, I took a walk into town with Anne. I was still feeling a little woozy. By the time I returned home, woozy was an understatement. I went back to bed and slept until the kids came home from school. I have never experienced anything quite like this particular illness before. It leaves me very short of breath, completely weak and lifeless with absolutely no appetite.
I promised Josie to take her graduation dress shopping when she got home from school and so I did. She, the boys and I, started our afternoon adventure at TJMax where she tried on a dozen or so dresses and actually managed to find one she liked. Thankfully, we were right next to a Panera so I could re-up our chicken noodle soup stock for dinner. Once we were back home, we watched a movie before we all went to bed. I just wanted to wake up on Saturday and feel back to normal. I’ve been working so hard to race this 5K and it may not be my day after all.
Saturday:
Plan: NYRR 5K Fiesta Run
Reality: “Get your head on right this week.” was the message from my coach, Alden. Before I started working with Alden, just about a year ago, I was conditioned to start each race conservative. Start out slow and build too fast. While negative splits are still my jam, I felt broken when it came to racing. I could kill a workout but I lost all sense of confidence on race day because I obsessed about not going out fast and then I couldn’t muster the strength to pick up the pace at the end. Simply stated, I would give up.
When my impromptu 5k didn’t go as planned in February, Alden snuck a workout in my long run the following week that required me to run faster than I did in the 5K, which I didn’t realize at the time, but I completed all the same. Slowly he helped me build confidence through his workouts until it was undeniable I had what it takes to progress to the next level.
I still felt ill. After I dropped the kids at their father’s house at noon, I went back to bed where I stayed until it was time to leave for the race. Brad was spinning with nervous pre-race energy. “What’s your race plan? What shoes are you going to wear? What’s your first mile going to be? How long are you going to warm up?” I ignored him and pulled the pillow over my head. I had consumed less nutrients this entire week than I normally do in one meal. I had no idea how I was going to make it to the starting line and even less of an idea what this race was going to bring.
***
When I saw the Mile 3 marker, I glanced at my total elapsed time and I knew I had a chance. I remembered what my friend Suzanne told me when I first started running, when you can’t move your legs, move your arms - they’re connected. And so I did. I pushed with everything I had left to make it to the clock with seconds to spare. Going into this race, my 5K PR was 22:59. All I wanted was 1 second better, just 1 second to say, for the record, I made progress. All this work has paid off. I crossed the line, stopped my watch and looked down. I didn’t get my 1 second. I ran 34 seconds faster than I’d ever run a 5K before, 22:25!
By the time I found Brad, I was sobbing. The odds were stacked against me today but I pulled it off. Earlier in the week, Brad confessed. When I was in the hospital and even weeks after I returned home, he truly didn’t believe I would ever run again. In his past, running alongside elite athletes, he had witnessed injuries, like mine, take people out of the game for good. But here I am, eight months later, with a new record.
My friend Allison asked me what, specifically, I attribute this accomplishment to. Other than sheer, undeniable stubbornness, here’s my answer…
I never stopped building strength & power. In the past, I ran 6 days a week. I was told, the only way to be a better runner is to run more, so I did. I had a couple 65 mile weeks and I never ran less than 40 miles a week. Maybe I was a better runner but I was also injury prone, unbalanced and I didn’t have the strength & power I needed to finish a race strong. Once my physical therapy was complete, after my pelvis was reconstructed, I have continued to incorporate strength training into my regime. I swim twice each week, I bike twice each week and I go to TRX or interval training at least once a week. This keeps all the muscles that support my running muscles strong and balanced so if leg muscles feel weak, I can pull strength from my glutes & my core. I run with my whole body.
I make every run count. I only run three days a week. Each run serves a purpose..track day, tempo day, long run day…no junk miles! This doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me. When I set my marathon PR, three years ago, this is how I trained. Again, I thought to get better at running, i needed to run more but I’ve learned my body just isn’t cut out for that. I have embraced the track to the point that I kind of love it. No, you’re not going to catch me competing in an indoor 5K but I love my Tuesday morning loops when the sun is rising and I’m chasing towards it. When I only run 3 days a week, I look forward to each opportunity I get to lace up. It never gets old, it never gets tired. I love every second of it.
I eat clean. I carefully consider everything I choose to put into my body. Everything I consume serves as much purpose as every mile I run. I eat balanced. What does this mean? For me, the biggest hurdle to changing my diet was to eat three meals a day - no skipping! So often, I would skip breakfast and even lunch and then I would be so hungry by dinner I would eat anything, literally anything, I could find. Now I focus as much energy on my meal planning as I do my training plan. I make sure I have tons of fruit and veggies on hand for quick snacking and smoothies. I make sure I eat within the first hour of waking up. I eat out less so I have more control over what I’m eating. Grain bowls…a simple cooked grain topped with whatever random veggies & protein I have in the fridge, are my life force. Those and tacos. I’ve greatly reduced my alcohol consumption since my accident. At first because I couldn’t drink while medicated and then because I realized how much better I feel each morning when I don’t drink the night before. I do not eliminate anything from my diet and I continue to let myself indulge in doughnuts and cinnamon buns because, balance and what life is worth living without doughnuts?!?!
I focus on me. There will always be someone faster and someone slower. I don’t compare myself to them. I compare myself to where I was a week ago, a year ago, five years ago. How far have I come? How far can I go? On race day, there won’t be anyone by my side. My race is my own. My pace is my own.
I worked toward smaller, more digestible goals. Minutes before the start of the 5K, I adjusted my watch settings so it would alert me at the end of each quarter mile. It occurred to me that all my training conditioned me to count small laps either in the pool or on the track…I’m always counting down from 20, 12, 8… Three miles seemed so loooonnnggg. 12 quarters? That’s just four more than my workout last week and I did that with no problem. During the race this was HUGE! Typically, somewhere around mile 2-2.5, I let myself quit. I tell myself I don’t need to prove anything to anyone and I slow down. I resolve to bag that mile and pick up the pace at the start of the next mile. But in this race, I wasn’t running miles, I was running quarters. When I felt like I couldn’t push any more, I relaxed a little, but only for a quarter. When that quarter was over, I tried again to push. I never had enough time between quarters to let my brain give up and slow my body down. I kept a count in my head 12, 11, 10… They went by SO FAST, before I knew it there was the 3 Mile marker and I could see the finish line.
I took a chance. The way I saw it, I had two options, go out conservative and try to pick up the pace OR go out hard and see how long I could hang on. I’ve been running two mile workouts for the last few weeks. I knew I could hang on for two miles at an aggressive pace. Thankfully, the race was crowded and the sheer mass of people kept me from going out too hard. I started comfortably hard and I kept going. I eased off a little at mile 1.5 and picked back up at mile 2. By 2.5 I could barely hold on but I mustered the energy for one last push when I saw the last mile marker. I knew if I started out conservative, I might never make the time back but if I went out fast, all I had to do was hang on, not completely fall apart, and put one foot in front of the other. I can do anything for 20 minutes, or in this case 22:25 minutes. A year ago, I would have never taken this risk. Today, it paid off. Next time, maybe I can hang on for a little longer.
I have a coach. I don’t have to think; he thinks for me. I have to execute. Each week is like a check list and every day I get to put a mark in the box next to complete. I am responsible for so many things in this life - the bakery, the kids, the groceries, the laundry…but not my training plan. I learned a long time ago, the importance of paying for professional services that enhance the potential for progress. When I’m not sure which direction my life is heading, I engage a career coach, when I’m trying to budget and plan for growth at the bakery, I lean on my accountant and when I want to increase my chances of meeting my running goals, I enlist the services of a running coach. Not every coach is perfect for every runner….kind of like therapists, you have to find the right one for you. Alden and I work well together. Being a champion triathlete (a 2:44 marathoner and 3rd place OA at the Baker’s Dozen 13.1) he understands the importance of cross training. He has three kiddos to chase after so he gets that plans don’t always go as planned. Most importantly, he pushes me to take risks, to push a little harder, to run a little faster and he calls me out when he knows I took the easy path. On Sunday, August 19th, when I was laying on a gurney in the ER, Alden was texting and calling me to tell me, whenever I was able, because I would be able, he would be there to help me take the next steps.
Peaks and valleys…my 5K quarters to the final push at the end.
After the race, I went straight home and back to bed. The plague had crept back into my system. It wasn’t until Sunday night that it finally started to go away for good.
Week 36
Nashville
My grandfather adored Chet. So many memories surfaced on this trip through my musical childhood.
Weekly Training Log
Sunday
Plan: 90 Minute Run
Reality: My alarm went off at 2am. I was at the bakery by 2:05. It was Easter Sunday and we had 2000 doughnuts on the production schedule. My task was to hand cut all the them (while making cinnamon buns, sticky buns, three kinds of muffins and baking the breads). By 3am, they were finished and the first of the doughnuts were ready to fry. Once they started coming out, the team raced to finish them before the first customers arrived at 7am.
I had a flight to catch at 11am. Brad and I were going to Nashville. It was my first time. I just had to finish the doughnuts and the bread so I could grab my bags and get on the plane. My mom called. ‘Don’t get on a bike before that plane takes off,’ she advised. Brad and I were supposed to leave for San Francisco the day after my accident, it would have been my first non-work related trip without the kids, ever. Now, Nashville is.
I may have slept on the plane, for a minute or two. As soon as we landed, the warm sunshine welcomed us. We were both starving and set out to find food immediately upon arriving in downtown Nashville. It was 1:30pm. There were runners passing us on every corner. I was chomping at the bit to get my 90 minutes in. We found an open BBQ joint (everything was closed or booked for Easter). I had a BLT with fried green tomatoes, what a brilliantly southern idea, and a giant vat of sweet tea. I did spend half a decade in northern Florida. It’s hard not to get sucked right back into the south.
After our late lunch we checked into our Airbnb and I laced up. I couldn’t wait. I had a vague idea of where we could spend 90 minutes running based on all the Nashville Strava stalking I did over the weeks leading up to the trip. When we hit the road, it was 80 degrees and the sun was right above us. It felt great, for about 2 minutes, then it felt terrible. We ran downtown, past the Country Music Hall of Fame, down the frat boy hell strip, through the NFL draft and over the bridge. I was tired but enjoying the scenery. At the 40 minute point I I could barely hang on. All I could taste was that fucking fried green tomato. What a terrible idea. The heat was pounding, there was no shade where we were running, I stopped and puked on the side of the road. That was a first for me, though I’ve threatened a few hundred times. What made me think no sleep, baking since 2am, navigating airports, eating BBQ and a 90 minute run in direct sun was a good idea? FOMO? Brad was a good sport. We turned around and walked for a few minutes, ran to the bridge, walked a little more and ran back to home base. I think I got 6 miles in. It might have been an hour. I definitely didn’t learn from my mistakes in Vegas. Working/Flying/Running does not do a body good.
After we cleaned up, we walked 3 miles back downtown to check out the Pinewood Social, an old bowling alley turned bar & restaurant where you can still knock some pins down. I had a big fat quinoa salad and a half a beer before I almost fell asleep at the bar. I had been up for 20 hours straight.
Monday
Plan: HIIT
Reality: Food Tour of Nashville! We started out at Milk & Honey a restaurant that opens early for breakfast and serves Stumptown Coffee. Finally a trip that doesn’t require me to bring my own. Brad and I met the head baker, Ben, when we were in Vegas. We knew this had to be our first stop. I had an incredible avocado toast on the house sourdough with fried eggs on top. I quickly learned that everything in Nashville comes with pimento cheese spread although I’m still trying to figure out what that is exactly. I’m pretty sure it’s what they served at every 1950’s potluck in the US but Nashville just didn’t let it go. Brad had a bacon egg and cheese on the most incredibly delicious biscuit ever!
Avocado toast from Milk & Honey
For lunch we found another BBQ joint in the 12 South district. We shared brisket & pulled pork tacos that were incredible. I discovered Imogene & Willie’s, a boutique who fabricates their own jeans, one of the only in the nation. I bought the most comfortable pair of pants I’ve had in long time, so much so that there’s only been one day in the last week that I didn’t wear them.
We had reservations for Rolf & Daughter’s for dinner. I have to say, it was one of the best meals I’ve ever eaten from the sourdough with seaweed butter, the sweet potato with chili and anchovies, the nettle pasta with toasted hazelnuts to the house made kombucha…out of this world. And we got to sit outside.
After dinner we checked out the Bearded Iris Brewery, the top recommendation from everyone we knew who lived in or visited Nashville before. They were not wrong. Definitely the best beer on the trip. And we got to sit outside, again!
Jeni’s ice cream but more importantly, new pants from Imogene & Willie…best trip souvenir EVER!
Tuesday:
Plan: RUN (3x200, 1600) x2
Reality: Done
I found a local track about a mile from where we were staying. It was like Brookdale park minus the soccer balls with the addition of foul balls from the adjacent baseball diamond. It was 6am on a Tuesday. Luckily, I didn’t have to heed the ‘watch out’ warning.
The crappy Sunday run, followed by a day off on Monday must have been the fuel I needed to make it through the workout hitting all my paces. I’ve come to love the track, which I once despised. Instead of counting laps, I count down the number of straightways. It’s similar to laps in the pool and it goes by a lot faster than counting the full circle.
We grabbed a quick bagel for breakfast before we stumbled in Biscuit Love where I couldn’t help but order the ‘bonuts.’ The tiny fried biscuits, rolled in cinnamon & sugar, topped with mascarpone cheese and laid on a bed of blueberry compote were the best version of a doughnut I’ve eaten in a very long time. It takes a lot for me to take more than one bite of a breakfast pastry (that isn’t one of my cinnamon buns) and I cleaned my plate of these!
Fried Biscuits!
We joined the Tuesday Nooner group run at the Nashville Running Company in lieu of lunch. It was a small group. I wasn’t going to run but decided I could go out for the 4 miler and keep it easy after my track workout, or so I thought. I was holding down the back of the pack with an 8 minute pace and struggling to keep the group in sight. Brad was busy one-stepping the front runner and had time to get water, freshen up and hang out on the back porch before I finished. I did get to chat with members of the board of the East Nasty Running Club along the way. They’ve been established for a decade and I admire their organization as Fueled by Doughnuts continues to grow and expand.
After my second run of the day, we went to find some Nashville Hot Chicken. Somehow we missed all the music in Nashville but we were not about to miss the food the city is known for. Having just watched Anthony Bourdain’s Nashville trip, I urged Brad not to get the Hot Chicken Hot. He kind of listened to me and insisted on the medium. After Bourdain’s meal, he spent 22 hours in peril, unable to film until he was well again. The atomic heat radiating from my MILD chicken was ridiculous. I couldn’t feel my face for hours after lunch. Brad was pretty much down for the count for the rest of the day too. Insane! Don’t do it. You can have a tremendous food adventure in Nashville WITHOUT ever eating Hot Chicken. This stuff was hotter than the hottest curry I’ve ever eaten and I frequented the Jackson Diner when I lived in Queens.
Sweat is literally dripping from his face! Hot Chicken at Bolton’s.
Wednesday:
Plan: SWIM 2000
Reality: We were still feeling the after burn from the Hot Chicken when we boarded the plane the next day. It seriously felt like a hangover even though we didn’t have anything to drink. My skin was clammy and my head was spinning.
Shortly after we landed and made it back to Montclair, I went to the Y to swim off some of my excess consumption this week. Workout completed as planned.
Thursday:
Plan: BIKE 60 Minutes
Reality: My first day back to the grind was certainly a grind. Even though it was her birthday, Jessica offered to sit in court with me. A vendor dispute arose over a year ago and, unfortunately, it had come to this. We thought we would be in and out but nothing in the judicial system is in and out. After our 8am arrival, we finally got to leave just before 5pm. Thankfully, the dispute is resolved however, there was no way I was in any shape to get on my bike once I finally got back home. Push to tomorrow.
Friday:
Plan: SWIM 1800 long reps
Reality: I arrived at the Y at the perfect off-hour to have several open lanes to choose from, after the people swimming before work but before the post-kid-drop-off swimmers. My workout consisted of 3x500….long steady laps. I would have never been able to complete this a year ago. I finally figured out how to float.
In the lane next to me there was someone who was clearly in the same place I was a year or two ago. He expended so much energy getting to the other end of the pool that he had to rest for several minutes before coming back again. I wanted to tell him it would be okay, just stick with it, it will click…just like everyone told me back when I was certain they were lying. When I finally got a break to talk, he was already out of the pool. I was a little afraid to say anything because I didn’t want to be ‘that woman,’ the one giving a 20 minute lecture on stroke form when you just have one lap left in your workout….cause that may have happened to me once.
When I started baking bread, at the Culinary Institute of America, my instructor, Nick Greco, was a very seasoned baker. He would stand by the mixer and tell me if my dough needed more water or more flour just by looking at it. He knew exactly how much to add to make it perfect. I would ask him for a recipe and he would rattle off numbers for me to transcribe. How did he do that??? No books, no binders, they were just in his head!!! Now I rattle off recipes and add more flour and more water so often that I don’t even think about it or consider how I know it, I just do.
The first time I got in the pool with John Williams, he made swimming look sooo easy. He learned later in life and didn’t consider himself to be a strong swimmer. Watching him, his head was barely peaking above the surface. It was like his entire body was underwater. Only his nose and half of his mouth emerged every so often to take a breath. When he got to the other end of the pool, his head barely bobbed above the water as he turned to come back. Meanwhile, I stopped for a good minute to 90 seconds before I turned to come back, hanging onto the side and embracing every breath before I thrust myself back into asphyxiation.
Today, I acknowledged how far I’ve come in the water. My form may not be perfect. I’m 100% mediocre in terms of pace but I can float and I can breath and I can use the water to recover. When I reach the end, I turn as quickly as I can to come back just as I watched John do. I feel calm. I’m no longer struggling just to breath, I have focus and determination.
Swimming in open water still horrifies me. I’d rather the bandaids and the hair ties than whatever lies in the murky brown abyss as creepy ick brushes against my skin.
After I completed my swim, I hopped on the bike to make up for my dropped Thursday workout.
Saturday
Easter Bunnies!
Plan: RUN 60:00
Reality: 3AM start at the bakery, finishing doughnuts. At 5AM, I had enough support staff to head out for a run with Anne. We decided running and hiding Easter eggs for the Fueled by Doughnuts hunt would be easier than driving around. We filled our bags with eggs and had a blast dropping them along the course.
Keeper of the prizes…still wearing my new pants…trying to keep them clean enough to last another day.
Week 35
EASTER
Easter, like every holiday, isn’t about planning meals with my family or egg hunts with friends, it’s about the bakery production schedule. What’s going to be made when? How many orders do we have? How many eggs can we fit in the fridge and still have room for sourdough? and cakes? and milk? Where is this week’s flour going to fit? How early do we have to start mixing dough to have everything ready by 7am Sunday morning?
There were SOOO many staffing issues this week. From Sunday morning until Wednesday morning, my days/nights were a series of small naps followed by mixing/baking/frying/prepping. I never got more than 4 hours of sleep at one time. I was at the bakery all hours of the night and day. I tried to go home and take naps when I could, just to be able to work for a little longer. On top of all the Easter preparations, my days were bookended with baking classes that went until 9pm on Monday and Tuesday. My days started at 2am and ended around 10pm and then repeat, repeat, repeat….
Somehow, amidst all the chaos, I was able to eek out a few hours to train.
Weekly Training Log
Monday
Plan: HIIT
Reality: TRX at Architect Studios two weeks in a row!!
Tuesday:
Plan: BIKE 1:09 TEMPO Sets
Reality: Done
Wednesday:
Plan: SWIM 2100 recovery
Reality: Between meal kit prep, staff call outs and Easter prep, the bakery got the best of me and I wasn’t able to get out for a swim.
Thursday:
Plan: RUN 1:00 on/off, 2:00 on/off, 3:00 on/off - x2
Reality: Completed as planned with the Fueled by Doughnuts group hanging with me again. Fast is so much easier with friends.
Friday:
Plan: SWIM 1800 long reps
Reality: Completed as planned in a very crowded pool. Seems like everyone took Good Friday off and headed to get their swim in before the holiday weekend.
Saturday:
Plan: RUN 1:15
Reality: Swapped out for my Sunday BIKE/RUN. Set up my trainer in the clubhouse so I could sneak out of the house at 5AM and get my ride in. However, after yet another kerfluffle with the bakery staff, I had to manage the doughnut shift at 3AM so instead of sneaking out of the house, I snuck out of the bakery. My ride was supposed to be followed by a 2 mile run. When I sat down to lace up my sneakers, the sky opened up and rain poured down. I thought I could handle it until a huge clap of thunder rattled me. I waited 15 minutes, obsessed over the local radar and finally went out for a super soaker of a 2 mile run. I have to admit, I was a little relieved when the rain forced me to postpone the Fueled by Doughnuts Egg Hunt. It bought me another hour to focus on doughnut production.
Week 34
Memories
At least once a week, Facebook shows me a picture from years ago…a celebrated memory from my social media past. Most of the photos are of the kids. At first glance, I soak in all the joy from seeing tiny Josie baking cupcakes or little Mac running through the park. Then, I realize, almost every happy memory from Facebook, every ‘look at what a great mom I am’ moment was masking a much darker day.
Before Montclair Bread Company, I was working 60 hour weeks and traveling to two different cities between Monday and Friday, working with bakeries across the nation. I desperately wanted to get out of my marriage and away from the emotional abuse, but I felt stuck. I thought I couldn’t exist without him. That’s what he told me every chance he got. I couldn’t take care of the kids on my own. I couldn’t support myself. According to him, I was lazy and useless, a terrible mother. Then one day, I decided I would live like he didn’t exist. I would try to do it all on my own, without any help, just to see if I could. I wouldn’t let the kids be exposed to his yelling and cursing anymore. I would just pack them up and leave, let the emotions settle and come home just in time to put them to bed and start another day.
These seemingly happy memories are not happy memories at all. These are the times I pulled up my big girl pants and set out on my own to run away from it all. Every smile in these photos represents one of my darkest days. The kids were the reason I felt like I couldn’t leave but then they helped teach me that I could do it on my own after all.
Now that I am on my own (although not on my own at all because I have an incredible partner and an amazing community to support me) the Facebook memories are starting to pop up from more recent history of the REAL positive times. I’m only writing this to send a message to everyone out there comparing their lives to the remarkable lives of others on social media. There’s so much more to every story. What happened before or after the smiles? We don’t post the tears, the sorrow, and the self doubt for everyone to see, at least not as often as the ‘look at what a great mom I am,’ moments.
Weekly Training Log
Monday
Plan: HIIT
Reality: TRX at Architect Studios - getting back in the swing of it. Asked my coach for a schedule adjustment to swap Friday & Monday so I can actually get to a class. Fridays at the bakery are nearly impossible coordinate with a scheduled class
Tuesday:
Plan: BIKE 1:15 Endurance Ride
Reality: Done
Wednesday:
Plan: SWIM 2050 recovery
Reality: Completed as planned
Thursday:
Plan: RUN 1:00 on/off, 2:00 on/off, 3:00 on/off - x2
Reality: Completed as planned, even got a couple friends to join in the fun. Everything is easier with company. Also got another round of TRX in after the kids went to school.
Friday:
Plan: SWIM 1800 long reps
Reality: Finally got to sleep past 3am and actually made it to the pool after the kids went to school.
Saturday:
Plan: RUN 1:15
Reality: Rainy, wet, solo run with a 5AM start. In my haste to finish, I managed to negative split 8+ miles finishing at my 10K pace. Immediately following the run, I had to pack up supplies to present a doughnut workshop at the NJ Wine & Food Festival. My doughnuts were paired with Chandon at the exclusive event. Not having any other options, I took Josie with me to be my assistant. She held her own in a banquet kitchen full of 40-50 year old chefs!
Sunday:
Plan: BRICK BIKE 1 hr, RUN 15 min
Reality: I thought my first back to back workout would be a lot more difficult than it proved to be. My 15 minute run turned into 2 miles because I couldn’t NOT finish the loop I started. Not a total disaster = winning!
Week 33
Cherry Blossom 10K
The 2015 Cherry Blossom 10K was the second race I’d ever run. My first was the Sleepy Hallow Half Marathon which was a month before. I had a blast running with my closest mom friends. A year later, Anne and I used the race to put the Fueled by Doughnuts Running Club on the map. We made goodie bags for all our runners and handed them out at the finish line. In 2017 I raced the 10K for the second time and set my still unbroken 10K PR.
I had high hopes for this year’s race. The weather was forecast to be perfect. My training has been solid. In the back of my head, I thought I could set a new PR. My plan was to start out slow and try to shave 5 seconds off each mile until the end. I hit all my targets until Mile 4…I just couldn’t pick it up but I held on. By mile 5 I was slowing and mile 6 was a struggle. I crossed the finish line 10 seconds over my PR time and I knew I gave it all I had to give. I didn’t mentally quit like I’ve done in so many races, I fought to stick with it the best I could. My legs were heavy. I could feel the stiffness in my left hip and thigh.
I was feeling a little blah, disappointed I couldn’t shave those 10 seconds off…just 5 seconds faster in the last two miles would have gotten me to my goal. Then, I ran into Hugo who reminded me 7 months ago, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t even sit up on my own! My emotions got the best of me and suddenly, I felt my disappointment turn into joy and elation. I was so happy to be able to run in one of my favorite races with so many of my favorite people. Sure, it wasn’t my best or a new record but I held my own. It was a solid performance.
I thought back to 2017 when I ran my fastest 10K and I remembered the aftermath. I strained my tendon and had to take weeks off of training. My spring goal race was downgraded because of it. I spent the rest of the year in and out of PT nursing strains, tweaky muscles and achy joints. Aside from the nerve damage I’m still experiencing, I have no mechanical issues. I feel balanced and strong.
Weekly Training Log
Monday
Plan: SWIM 2150
Reality: BAKE 3AM
Tuesday:
Plan: RUN 3x 1000 @ race pace
Reality: Got the first lap in and my watch froze even though it was a balmy 29F. Ran for effort on the second two.
Wednesday:
Plan: SWIM 1800; BIKE 60:00 workout
Reality: Done and Done!
Thursday:
Plan: RUN 45 minutes
Reality: Check!
Friday:
Plan: Rolling & Stretching
Reality: BAKE 3am, 5am, 7am - continuous check-ins with the staff to make sure everything is going as planned with intermittent napping
Saturday:
Plan: RUN 35:00 plus 5x30 sec strides
Reality: Done!
Sunday: Race Day!
My first Cherry Blossom 10K